Guys, can you gradually fall in love with a girl?

[Anonymous]

Or must you have those intense feelings right away in order to love a girl? If you don't have them, do you just not love her, and will never love her?

The guy I'm seeing says he doesn't know if he loves me yet, and wants to get to know me better. We've only been going out for 3 months.

I'm fine with that, but I was talking to someone about it and they said guys love differently. They said that guys either love you right away or those feelings just never develop.

What do you guys think?

Updates

+1 y

I don't even know if I love him. I've been in a long-term relationship before and definitely want to take things slow and allow things to blossom, hopefully they do! :D

[aMuse]

You're friend is an idiot. Love take time... Infatuation can be instant, but that rarely lasts. If it comes on instantly, it's likely because we're either young an immature, or have just been through a rough patch in our life and are vulnerable and not thinking straight. Then when we come to our senses it all comes crashing down. The thing is, if we're going to love you it's going to likely start well, and continue to get better. We might hit a few snags along the way when we run into your bad traits, but if there's a lot more good then bad, we'll except those things and grow to love you. If it's a balancing act between good and bad constantly then we'll likely never love you. If there's more bad then good, then we know for sure you won't ever be loved.

[aMuse]

The more genuine you are the quicker that process rolls along.

[Asker]

Thank you for your answer! It makes me feel better because this is basically reaffirming what my boyfriend said. He doesn't know if he loves me yet, but he does enjoy spending time with me. That's not to say that those feelings won't develop, he says. He says that so far things have been great, that I make his life easier and he likes spending time with me. I just hope that he can fall in love with me. I have a habit of fitting into the friend role :S

[Jager66]

love takes time, if you think your in love and youve been together less then 3 years your kidding yourself.

[onlyacrush]

Love is a big word. Sounds like your guy has a good head on his shoulders. Continue doing what you're doing and hope something more grows. :) Good luck!

[Anonymous]

yes, he can gradually fall in love with you, what he said its not a bad thing.

[tiredofwaiting]

It takes time and it doesn't usually happen overnight

[Anonymous]

yes, love can be gradual

[Anonymous]

yes, they can