Is she using me because she's lonely?

[Anonymous]

There's this girl I know who is in a long-distance relationship with a long-time boyfriend. But she'll call me up and want to hang out---go to dinner, movies, theme parks, concerts, basically all the things a boyfriend would do (without the sex/affection). It seems like I'm just filling the absence. It seems like time I'm wasting when I could be out there with a single girl instead. She'll text me randomly on a Saturday night and say "are you doing anything tonight?"

It may not be intentional, but are there girls like this, who just want you to fill a void until their boyfriend comes and f***s them with you doing all the work?

The good news is we pay for stuff separately, but it uses up my time. And it irks me that she'll contact me on weekend nights as last moment/back-up as if I have nothing better to do/no one to date.

[Bethany94]

You sound like an a**hole, to be honest. Is she forcing you to do these things? Putting a gun to your head? It doesn't matter if it's the weekend. If you want to do something else or hang out with a single girl then tell her you'll catch her some other time. She probably is lonely, I get really lonely when my boyfriend is away and I unconsciously start making plans with all my male friends. However, she isn't using you. She's trying to hang out. She probably thinks (because why wouldn't she) that you're enjoying just hanging out as friends SINCE NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO DO THIS. If you have something better to do, why do you always say yes to her? Because you're her friend? You're acting like a sh*tty friend if you're bitching about this.

Also, does she have many female friends? If not, she could genuinely consider you one of her close friends, and you're treating her like she's a burden.

[523206720]

Maybe she likes the attention? I used to have a friend who would do this to guys that she had no intention of every dating and once she got a boyfriend she would invite either me or somebody else along on all of her dates with her boyfriend because the status to her was more important than the relationship. If you resent her for it then start saying no to her and I think yeah she's probably lonely and missing her boyfriend.

[bettybets]

I think if you're feeling used then that's all that matters and that you should cease going out with her if you feel that way. She could not mean anything by it but it is likely that you are her comfort boyfriend while her actual one is away. You clearly feel as though she's not treating you fairly and if you think it's a waste of your time you should turn her down when she invites you out and not bother.

[Dionysos]

You are her gay bff? That sucks unless you're gay. Goose her next time you're out. That'll let her know you're frisky.

Then go for a kiss at the end of the night. If she blocks you, you'll know you're friend zoned permanently, and you can act accordingly.

She shouldn't be using you as a d***less boyfriend.

[Asker]

To be clear, I only hung out once with her, and that was more than 3 months ago. That was before I knew about this LDR. But for the next month after that, she would contact me about those things and when I wouldn't play along, she stopped communication with me until about 2 weeks ago.

[1inmillion]

She is using you and wasting YOUR time. Stop all communications with her and try to find someone else.

[Lafemmedeschats]

Sounds lie she is. That's pretty lame of her I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

i don't think she's using you, she thinks of you as a friend. but if you want a relaionship you should definitely hang out with other girls.

[Anonymous]

i think you are a big ass

[Anonymous]

you didn't have to ask

[Anonymous]

Yep. Stop being a sucker.