My boyfriend is always late. How can I make him understand it just isn't cool?

[marley86]

I am not talking like fifteen minutes, but hours late; it is like he just doesn't pay attention to the time. He not only does this to me, but he does to all of his friends too, so I know it has nothing to do with me. They get really mad at him about it too, but no one can seem to get through to him. I think it is disrespectful to make your girlfriend and friends constantly wait around for you; it is so rude! I just feel like, sometimes, he only cares about himself. He isn't ever do anything important either, just playing video games or something. AHH! what do I do?

[spaghett]

don't wait around for him anymore. if you have plans that start at such and such time and he's not there then start doing whatever it is that was planned. if you're meeting him for a movie and he's not there on time either go to the movie alone or go home and do something else. likewise if you're meeting for a party or with friends to go somewhere and he's not on time, just leave and go do what you'd planned to do. he needs to have consequences for being late, by waiting around for him to show up to begin an activity you're reinforcing that it doesn't really matter if he's on time or not because you'll all wait for him.

also you can't change him, if you've told him this is an issue and he's done nothing to change it then you either have to live with it or break up with him.

[marley86]

He is just late to meet me to go out to dinner with me, or if we have plans to just hangout. Last night, after I asked this question, he arrived at my apartment not thinking it was a big deal. He told me that he knows every time he gives me a time to expect him to arrive 45 minutes later.

[redheadbabygirl]

Stop accommodating him--that's just making it easier for him to keep this up. If he's more than 15 minutes late for an appointment or scheduled activity, LEAVE. If he says he'll be somewhere and he isn't, go do something else.

He'll get sick of it--and get the message :) He just needs a little nudge!

[ap1100]

Give him 15 minutes after the schedule time, then leave. Don't let him in your house. Don't see him. His friends should do the same. You can't bend from this or else he'll realize he can keep doing as he wants. Some people just have no sense of time, and if he's doing it to his friends, he is either using all of you, or is just unconsciously rude. Nevertheless, it's unfair to you and he needs to learn a lesson. Don't whine, don't nag, don't complain, or give an ultimatum - just leave after 15 minutes, and if he calls you, tell him you were there are the set time and you missed him.

I wouldn't put up with this from anyone. Probably best to move on.

[Littletad]

It is rude and disrespectful. I'm not sure if there's a good reason why he's doing this. Is there? If not, I'd suggest being vocal about how much it bothers you. If he continues to be late and his behavior becomes worse, then it's time to give an ultimatum.