So I have a very intelligent, sweet and caring boyfriend. He knows how to do just about everything from computer programming to auto mechanic stuff. He's VERY outgoing, way more outgoing than I am.
Anyway, he invites me to all of his family's events (birthdays, weddings, you name it). He's serious about me. I love that. What I don't love is that he invites me to these events and almost always ditches me.
For the record, he has a very nice family--lots of nice people who all like me and love each other. His family is always doing something together, which I think is great. However, I'm not used to that. My family consists of my mom, brother and I just hanging around the house. It's just us three. We don't go out much, but we love each other.
Although his family is full of nice people, I feel awkward around them. To help matters, there are only a few family members that are close to my age, none female. There's only one person that I actually enjoy talking to and she's a girlfriend like me. She hardly makes it to anything because of work though. I often end up sitting with his mom, grandmother or great aunts trying to make small talk. Unfortunately, I can only make so much small talk before I become the one person that's not related to everyone else there. Sigh.
Once small talk is over, I sit there quietly for a while, eating. Then, I start entertaining myself with games on my phone. All the while, my boyfriend is somewhere being outgoing and comfortable with his family and his mom is sitting next to me saying "James is always just leaving you" and I'm like "Yes, he is."
I'm not sure if he thinks that by just leaving me, I'll get more comfortable with his family. But it pisses me off and each time, I promise myself to not go to another family event. I've talked to him about it, and he apologizes. But it just keeps happening.
Anyway, tonight his cousin's wife was having a birthday party and my boyfriend invited me. I immediately imagined lots of family talking and laughing and me eating awkwardly alone, wishing that I had stayed home, while my boyfriend took pictures of everyone having a good time or did a favor for a family member. I declined the invitation. He asked why. I told him that he always leaves me alone at these things and I didn't feel like feeling abandoned when I could just stay home. He didn't like that and seemed to get upset.
Am I wrong for not going? I know that to get more comfortable around his family I actually have to be around his family. It's just not working for me though. I do good with his parents, when its just us. But when there is extended family, I just end up lost in the crowd and awkward. Sigh. Am I wrong? What should I do? Advice is welcome.
Anyway, he invites me to all of his family's events (birthdays, weddings, you name it). He's serious about me. I love that. What I don't love is that he invites me to these events and almost always ditches me.
For the record, he has a very nice family--lots of nice people who all like me and love each other. His family is always doing something together, which I think is great. However, I'm not used to that. My family consists of my mom, brother and I just hanging around the house. It's just us three. We don't go out much, but we love each other.
Although his family is full of nice people, I feel awkward around them. To help matters, there are only a few family members that are close to my age, none female. There's only one person that I actually enjoy talking to and she's a girlfriend like me. She hardly makes it to anything because of work though. I often end up sitting with his mom, grandmother or great aunts trying to make small talk. Unfortunately, I can only make so much small talk before I become the one person that's not related to everyone else there. Sigh.
Once small talk is over, I sit there quietly for a while, eating. Then, I start entertaining myself with games on my phone. All the while, my boyfriend is somewhere being outgoing and comfortable with his family and his mom is sitting next to me saying "James is always just leaving you" and I'm like "Yes, he is."
I'm not sure if he thinks that by just leaving me, I'll get more comfortable with his family. But it pisses me off and each time, I promise myself to not go to another family event. I've talked to him about it, and he apologizes. But it just keeps happening.
Anyway, tonight his cousin's wife was having a birthday party and my boyfriend invited me. I immediately imagined lots of family talking and laughing and me eating awkwardly alone, wishing that I had stayed home, while my boyfriend took pictures of everyone having a good time or did a favor for a family member. I declined the invitation. He asked why. I told him that he always leaves me alone at these things and I didn't feel like feeling abandoned when I could just stay home. He didn't like that and seemed to get upset.
Am I wrong for not going? I know that to get more comfortable around his family I actually have to be around his family. It's just not working for me though. I do good with his parents, when its just us. But when there is extended family, I just end up lost in the crowd and awkward. Sigh. Am I wrong? What should I do? Advice is welcome.
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