Boyfriend always ditches me at parties, do we need a break?

[smsmalal]

I've been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years now. I have never been so madly in love with anyone. There has never been a doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We have our fights but we talk, learn and move on from them. Expect for one thing. When go to one of his friends party. I always seem to be ditched and I don't see him much of the night. He's one of those people everyone loves and wants to be around so he's always off somewhere, It's not like I want to be attached by the hip to him... Just some acknowledgement here and there and some time together. So I'm stuck making small talk with people I barely know. When It comes to my friends parties and gatherings I always try my best that I don't ditch him and keep him involve. But to him at his parties I'm invisible.. We seem to get along better when Its just the two of us, which is really bad because we cannot live our lives in just our room. Even so when we are together he's so consumed with his phone, ipod and laptop talking on Facebook and text to his mates to notice I'm even there. I feel so invisible to him... like I'm second best.

I've had two years dealing with this and I feel I'm at my breaking point and I want a break to make him realize what he might loose... What do I do? :(

[Anonymous]

I had exactly the same problem,me and my partner has been together for 2 years and it's always when we go to HIS mates parties I'm left by myself trying to make convos with people I don't even know and he is no where to be found. and when I search for him he's with girls, but he just says he's with his boys too and it's not like they alone in a room together. But it just looked really bad! Finding your boyfriend with some chick after he left you by yourself isn't a good look , and I'm not the type of person who needs a lot of attention either , just enough that makes me feel like I'm NOT invisible.

I suggested that he move out for a few days As he didn't know how I'm feeling and when I try explaining he says I'm trying to start arguments , so I was over it. He moved out my house , things were pretty intense in the first week as he still had to come back and pick up little pieces of his stuff, when he was completely gone I didn't bother contacting him, because I told him that I was hurt by what he was doing and he didn't understand me.

About 4 days after he completely moved out he wanted for us to meet koz he missed me and he felt as if we're drifting away from each other, we tried talking it out but we would just end up arguing about the samesituation aswhy I wantd him to move out in the first place! I guess it's when you get so angry and frastrated that tears start running down your face that your other half actually realize how much he hurtedyou and start apologizing ...

This happened 2 weeks ago and we had just start going out to movies and stuff again, Ihavnt been to any parties with him just yet so I don't know if he's actually realize or he just apologizing koz he didn't know what to do, just take some time off. It will make him appreciate the time that yous DO have together more .

But I don't mean it by not talking to him for one day, try focuse on yourself for a week and he WILL run to you if he cares , give the time some time. :)

[aly-marie]

Does he know that those things bother you? Unless you've told him directly, I wouldn't assume he realizes. If you have, then I would rethink the relationship a little.. people have different needs in their relationships, and attention is a very basic one. But two people don't always agree on how much attention they need to give each other. And if neither is willing to compromise, then someone will always be unhappy. I need a lot of attention, and my boyfriend has learned this over time. He makes the effort to spend more time with me, and in turn I try to rein myself in from being too needy. It takes a lot of communication and not being afraid to tell each other "It upsets me when you do __"

I would no longer have the patience to deal with someone who treats me like you're being treated, but you know him better than I do.. you know if he's worth it. And it may be something that you can learn to not be so bothered by. Maybe you two just shouldn't go out together, especially since you don't have the same group of friends. It's healthy to spend some time apart anyway. And maybe have a rule that neither of you can constantly be on the phone when you're spending time together. Just try some little compromises.

[smsmalal]

We have spoken about this quite a bit and he does know how I feel yet continues the way he does

I don't feel like I need a lot of attention. I've never liked to be around someone for too long but when your left alone with people you don't really know and your boyfriend is no where to be seen... its not a great feeling

He is definitely worth it this is why I thought having a break would do us good make him realize that how much this hurts me But how long for? I've never asked someone for a break

[aly-marie]

Breaks just have never worked out for me. I always ended up leaving that person. If you want to try it, that's up to you, but it's just a sign of a break-up in my experience. The best advice I can think of is to stop going out together, since it causes so many problems. He may miss having you around more if you don't do things together all the time, and it will give you some time to yourself.

[powerpsi]

You're too clingy..you want him for yourself 24/7? How about you get your own life too and be busy with your phone and talking with your girlfriends instead of wanting him to give up all of his friends

[smsmalal]

No I never said I wanted him to myself, my point is I never see him when we go out, I'm not even visible to him.

You think being just as rude and texting while I'm with him is a solution? no thanks.

[powerpsi]

No, I'm saying when you two are alone together enjoy your time together. When you two go out together and its just the two of you I'd imagine he focuses on you. When the two of you go out and it's a social gathering of his friends then don't get your panties all in a bunch when he wants to spend time with them.

And I'm saying you should probably spend less time with him and more time with your female friends, cause when a guy starts acting like this its his way of saying he needs some space