Questions: Relationships

First and foremost, lying is a NET POSITIVE as it has evolved among ALL species studied for the propensity for deception. The simple, harsh truth is that liars gain advantage and people who do not lie or cannot tell they're being lied to are, inferior, from an evolutionary standpoint. Suck it up. Liars win. Marks lose.

Lies we tell to PROTECT OURSELVES:

We might lie to avoid punishment. For example, children often lie about whether they have completed their homework. If they tell the truth, their parents might insist that the homework be done immediately, which could preclude their participation in a recreational activity.

We might lie to prevent ourselves from being embarrassed about behavior we regret or because we don’t want to reveal private information that might be used against us. We may worry that public awareness of such information can cause us stress or anxiety.

We might lie to avoid conflict. For example, a spouse may choose not to tell the truth about how they feel about their spouse’s behavior for fear that an uncomfortable disagreement might arise.

We might lie to gain social acceptance from a particular group. For example, we might feign interest in a subject matter to join a group that extols that subject. Or, we could post partial truths or fabrications on social media to become popular.

We might lie to get ahead in a competition or business. For example, a businessman might falsely claim great success in the past to secure a new business interest. Such lies can also make us feel better about ourselves when others believe us.

We might lie in a relationship to maintain control. For example, we might falsely state that we have brought a lot of money into a partnership.

Lies we tell to protect others:

We might lie about an illegal activity undertaken by a friend so that the friend does not suffer from negative consequences.

We might lie about something to spare the feelings of someone else.