My boyfriend is muslim and refuses to hold my hand. Does this have to do with his religion?

Question

He says he can't date but we are boyfriend and girlfriend

MPAHG · Accepted Answer

Look
This situation is kinda not understood by other non muslim people and even by some Muslims themselves
Personally I've searched into this topic
by the way, I'm Muslim

Regarding your question.. Yes it has to do with Islam
In Islam, the purpose of the dating period is for the couple to get to know eachother much more and figure out whether they fit together and can get married or not.
We never get taught to choose a gf/bf based on sexual desires and such therefore sex isn't allowed before marriage and also physical connection.
Holding hands may seem simple to u but since you're not Mohram (a relative that he's prohhibited to marry) so he's not allowed to touch u.

In addition, other than the religion, it also depends on the society and on your boyfriend himself.
For example, in my city which is an Islamic city... Some teen couples hold hands and date and their parents approve that. Some others get to know eachothers by going on dates together but without holding hands and kissing and such... This period of time doesn't last a lot.
In Islam, after they figure out that both of them have no problem with eachother so they get engaged. When they're engaged so there's no problem with flirting, holding hands and such...

I don't know if all of this is true
This is what I understood when I searched back then
Since I'm not interested in relationships yet so I didn't dig more into it
I hope you get things sorted with your boyfriend sis

marijajr · Accepted Answer

I see that her boyfriend is from Bosnia, so not from Syria, Pakistan or something like that. What he's doing actually not doing is not connected to religion in Bosnia. Like I said, almost every Bosnian had sex before marriage and that with hands is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You can hold hands, I mean if he doesn't want to, are you two really together? One guy also wrote that women are second class citizens in the muslim faith, you need to know that Muslims in Bosnia are not like those in Syria, Pakistan, Afghanistan...

lilly_rose1978 · Accepted Answer

Well yes it has to do a lot with his religion & culture. I have been living & working in the middle east for several years & saw too many such cultural mixed relationships. Unfortunately none if it survived the time. Too many obstacles in many cases. Starting from every day life to the rules of relationships.

djmzes · Accepted Answer

First of all , in the eye of God (Allah), there is no bf-gf relationship it is non-existants. So for him, you are nothing more than a stranger like any women on this earth.

Holding hand and intimacy or even "falling in love ", all these are prohibited in Islam and will bring great chaos to you and him.

You may say and people may say he is dick and loser and what so ever, and if you do not like it and can understand, then you are not even a righteous woman and remember it is Allah himself, who created couple. So even you leave him, Allah can give him someone 10 times better than you.

Just to show you that whatever you will do, Allah is the most powerful and merciful.

Personally if you are dating in hidden, then you are being deceiving by the Devil and your relationship will not have the blessing of Allah.

zulfiqarali · Accepted Answer

Religiously speaking he is not allowed to even have girlfriend.. neither he can talk unnecessarily to any women which is not his mother sister daughter or wife nor he can see any women the lost I told.. then on what ground he is bringing religion to this... Yes Islam also prohibit sexual relationship before marriage as well. I donot know why he bringing this in between... and how he is you boyfriend when he cannot even talk to you... either he want u impress or I donot know what is in his mind... be careful... let me add Islam do give women esteem respect and care about thier dignity and protection... if he is good Muslim he should proposed u and continue relationship after wedding.. before wedding their is no concept of relationship between man and woman in Islam

rakesh78695 · Answer

You are talking about religion here so I am assuming you are from India or Pakistan. Answer to your question yeah it is possible religion play some role in this behaviour but personally I don't think it's just because of religion the culture of over countries (both India and pak) is in transition phase so it's normal for you to hold hand in public but for someone its not it's about the culture rather than about a particular religion.

ScottL · Answer

If you're dating someone with a different cultural background, it's probably best to learn about it.

At the very least, get accustomed to what's acceptable or unacceptable.

Then talk to them about it. Just because something is traditionally unacceptable, doesn't mean they follow it closely or even at all.

Same with things are that traditionally acceptable. Doesn't mean they agree or allow it.

Ram0n83 · Answer

I'm not well-versed on this at all. But my basic understanding is that Islam frowns upon public displays of affection. I might be wrong though.

I have also heard that in some eastern cultures that holding hands is frowned upon because it implies that the girl is a hooker. I'm not sure if that might be your boyfriend's upbringing or not, though.

nygate · Answer

Im not sure how can you be in a relationship if he told you you two can't date. Anyway, yes some religious people refrain from aby physical contact with thr opposite sex. My best advice? If you dont share the same views you should probably find a different boyfriend.

macsha331 · Answer

That's not true. A lot of Muslims date when they're teenagers. Either has another girlfriend or maybe his parents don't want him dating.

EmmaMary · Answer

Dump him and move on quickly whilst you still have a chance.

TheLuckyPizzaDog · Answer

If you can't date then you're not really boyfriend and girlfriend in the ways that matter. You'd be girlfriend and boyfriend in label only. Do you like not being able to date or hold hands?

iamshan · Answer

Run now

downtofu · Answer

I lol @ the comments. Anyways yes, it's his religion. Welcome to a conservative culture or the western world in 1940. I'm not Muslim. Stay if you want, leave if you can't.

OmgItsJoe123 · Answer

Nope. I'm Muslim myself and I don't think there is nothing wrong with holding your girlfriend's hand. Well, to be honest with you, being in relationships (boyfriend and girlfriend) initially isn't accepted in Islam.

SarahsSummer · Answer

If he can’t date because of religion, then he can’t give the appearance of dating, which includes pda like holding hands

Anonymous · Answer

Get out now before you get too attached to him. His family will likely never accept you if you are outside of his culture and you will never be treated in a way that you seem to want (PDA is haram, along with a multitude of other things).

madhatters4 · Answer

public displays of affection are frowned on in more conservative Islamic teaching

Edanurus · Answer

How can he be your boyfriend if he said he won't date you. Yes he wouldn't hold your hand, I've dated Muslim girls before, it can get complicated

WalterRadio · Answer

If you stay together, you are making a big mistake. Dump him now and find someone else.

Anonymous · Answer

yes it does! In Islam the religion forbids people to touch each other unless they are married.. or just family members shaking hands or anything like that (nothing sexual between families ofc)

margarita93 · Answer

Nah if he cannot date then he shouldn't call you his girlfriend

joetribbiani · Answer

Okay evidently Muslim law first of all doesn't allow any i ll legimate relationship, apparently it means you can't even hold up a hand

TheCookieDealer · Answer

Yep, it's custom in the religion if you're not married. If that's not what you want, run now

Anonymous · Answer

Yes he's trying to do his best to not touch you until he marry you but if he's doing that he really is caring about you

Anonymous · Answer

That does have something to do with his religion, yeah. The only way for a guy and a girl to be together is marriage...

aa180 · Answer

Yeah dating and physical contact with the opposite gender is not allowed in Islam.

SAMI_DABBAB · Answer

If he was to follow his religion precisely you wouldn't have been his girlfriend... Tell him either hold my fkin hand or leave me alone..

hagarthehorribl · Answer

Ask him why. It might be because you don't wash your hands enough, or pray enough.

Maverick91 · Answer

Am Muslim too. in our religion its prohibited to have sex or kiss a girl or to hold hands unless she ur sister or mother or wife. so I think he will propose to you

jacquesvol · Answer

For some religious interpretations, holding hands is too close contact.

Evkaxy · Answer

I don't think Quran prohibits holding hands... it's probably a personal preference

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

The Islamic religion will make someone retarded. Holding hands with boyfriend or girlfriend is wrong now? Increablibe.

Anonymous · Answer

Good luck with that. Women are second class citizens in the Muslim faith.

MidnightCowboy · Answer

Why date a Muslim, find an Atheist. We treat women better

Andrewlongguard · Answer

Maybe or maybe it's maybelline. You should ask if then decide if it's worth it.

rmill121 · Answer

You need to peace out before you get blown up or some shit.

daddysb4by · Answer

yes it’s because of his religion. he shouldn’t touch you and actually he shouldn’t have a date too.

SwagsMcBags · Answer

"We are boyfriend and girlfriend." Are you sure about that?

Anonymous · Answer

I’ve heard that before on 90 day fiancé. Thatcute egyptian boy wouldn’t hold that fat white girks hand cause it was against his religion to show pda.

Danium_8 · Answer

This does haavve to do with 'our' religion. Although dating isn't even allowed in the first place.

Isaiahgeek · Answer

I was actually wondering why I couldn't date this one Muslim girl I see from time to time.

name_is_eric · Answer

You need to convert to Islam in order to be with him, officially.

Altair786 · Answer

If you were to wear a hijab then may be he will hold your hand.

iseegr8tfuldeadppl · Answer

his religion doesn't allow him to even have a girlfriend, so he's kinda promising you that you're his goal?

SkylarM63 · Answer

could be his religion, and if you are bf/gf and he says he can't date you, he could also have a side chick from before you.. gotta investigate..

amanverma21 · Answer

What this is so orthodox... You must talk to him about this

safouene · Answer

No it isn't. I'm a Muslim and I've never heard about such thing.

shep0612 · Answer

I don't know i dont do public displays of effection AT ALL

mitubanna · Answer

Religion can't be a valid reason as no-one loves anyone because of religion it's inner beauty

mohahrr · Answer

Yeah , I am Muslim too but that a good thing because ur boyfriend love and this is the reason

uummaa · Answer

I can your boyfriend if you say yes I an of your religion

Anonymous · Answer

break up now he doesn't know the truth  on top of that he won't hold your hand

Anonymous · Answer

If you sign up for a get treated like shit class, you have to expect to be treated like shit.

JulieXO · Answer

If he can't date, he's not your boyfriend.

sidvt · Answer

Stop this shitty drama or else u will suffer a lot

Jorgumander · Answer

That's weird. Get a new boyfriend.

ThatWeirdDude · Answer

Doesn't sound like he's your boyfriend

opurba · Answer

No just shy to touch sweaty hands where no water.

Fadyawad · Answer

If you love hime you do anything which he likes

Sabrina_gomez · Answer

maybe he doesn't want his dad to find out?

puffboo · Answer

Consider changing boyfriend 😵

Nicynodle2 · Answer

Kinda being a dick, Muslim or not

blondfrog · Answer

No that's just weird.

Kelly6 · Answer

No it’s not from his religion

My boyfriend is muslim and refuses to hold my hand. Does this have to do with his religion?

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