My boyfriend is muslim and refuses to hold my hand. Does this have to do with his religion?

[Anonymous]

He says he can't date but we are boyfriend and girlfriend

[MPAHG]

Look
This situation is kinda not understood by other non muslim people and even by some Muslims themselves
Personally I've searched into this topic
by the way, I'm Muslim

Regarding your question.. Yes it has to do with Islam
In Islam, the purpose of the dating period is for the couple to get to know eachother much more and figure out whether they fit together and can get married or not.
We never get taught to choose a gf/bf based on sexual desires and such therefore sex isn't allowed before marriage and also physical connection.
Holding hands may seem simple to u but since you're not Mohram (a relative that he's prohhibited to marry) so he's not allowed to touch u.

In addition, other than the religion, it also depends on the society and on your boyfriend himself.
For example, in my city which is an Islamic city... Some teen couples hold hands and date and their parents approve that. Some others get to know eachothers by going on dates together but without holding hands and kissing and such... This period of time doesn't last a lot.
In Islam, after they figure out that both of them have no problem with eachother so they get engaged. When they're engaged so there's no problem with flirting, holding hands and such...

I don't know if all of this is true
This is what I understood when I searched back then
Since I'm not interested in relationships yet so I didn't dig more into it
I hope you get things sorted with your boyfriend sis

[marijajr]

I see that her boyfriend is from Bosnia, so not from Syria, Pakistan or something like that. What he's doing actually not doing is not connected to religion in Bosnia. Like I said, almost every Bosnian had sex before marriage and that with hands is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You can hold hands, I mean if he doesn't want to, are you two really together? One guy also wrote that women are second class citizens in the muslim faith, you need to know that Muslims in Bosnia are not like those in Syria, Pakistan, Afghanistan...

[lilly_rose1978]

Well yes it has to do a lot with his religion & culture. I have been living & working in the middle east for several years & saw too many such cultural mixed relationships. Unfortunately none if it survived the time. Too many obstacles in many cases. Starting from every day life to the rules of relationships.

[djmzes]

First of all , in the eye of God (Allah), there is no bf-gf relationship it is non-existants. So for him, you are nothing more than a stranger like any women on this earth.

Holding hand and intimacy or even "falling in love ", all these are prohibited in Islam and will bring great chaos to you and him.

You may say and people may say he is dick and loser and what so ever, and if you do not like it and can understand, then you are not even a righteous woman and remember it is Allah himself, who created couple. So even you leave him, Allah can give him someone 10 times better than you.

Just to show you that whatever you will do, Allah is the most powerful and merciful.

Personally if you are dating in hidden, then you are being deceiving by the Devil and your relationship will not have the blessing of Allah.

[zulfiqarali]

Religiously speaking he is not allowed to even have girlfriend.. neither he can talk unnecessarily to any women which is not his mother sister daughter or wife nor he can see any women the lost I told.. then on what ground he is bringing religion to this... Yes Islam also prohibit sexual relationship before marriage as well. I donot know why he bringing this in between... and how he is you boyfriend when he cannot even talk to you... either he want u impress or I donot know what is in his mind... be careful... let me add Islam do give women esteem respect and care about thier dignity and protection... if he is good Muslim he should proposed u and continue relationship after wedding.. before wedding their is no concept of relationship between man and woman in Islam

[rakesh78695]

You are talking about religion here so I am assuming you are from India or Pakistan. Answer to your question yeah it is possible religion play some role in this behaviour but personally I don't think it's just because of religion the culture of over countries (both India and pak) is in transition phase so it's normal for you to hold hand in public but for someone its not it's about the culture rather than about a particular religion.

[Asker]

He is Bosnian and I am American with Dominican parents

[rakesh78695]

Sorry for my assumptions but still i dont think it's about a religion

[Asker]

Its ok u dont have to be sorry

[rakesh78695]

May be your boyfriend just too shy 😊

[rakesh78695]

Sorry to ask you but what do you think about Muslim religion

[Asker]

I dont really know that nuch about muslim people but i know about the religion. The religion ahs some beautiful things to it but some things seem harsh to me like killing apostates and stuff like that

[rakesh78695]

That's the thing
No religion in itself is wrong but some people use religion to fullfill their goals and seek the authenticity for their deeds from religion in Islam number of people who done this is not higher

[rakesh78695]

But a normal Muslim guy is as similar as any other religion guy

[marijajr]

I thought that he is from Pakistan or something, but he is from Bosnia, so am I. Bosnians don't care about those things, I mean I lost virginity and I'm not married. What he's doing is just weird

[ScottL]

If you're dating someone with a different cultural background, it's probably best to learn about it.

At the very least, get accustomed to what's acceptable or unacceptable.

Then talk to them about it. Just because something is traditionally unacceptable, doesn't mean they follow it closely or even at all.

Same with things are that traditionally acceptable. Doesn't mean they agree or allow it.

[Ram0n83]

I'm not well-versed on this at all. But my basic understanding is that Islam frowns upon public displays of affection. I might be wrong though.

I have also heard that in some eastern cultures that holding hands is frowned upon because it implies that the girl is a hooker. I'm not sure if that might be your boyfriend's upbringing or not, though.

[nygate]

Im not sure how can you be in a relationship if he told you you two can't date. Anyway, yes some religious people refrain from aby physical contact with thr opposite sex. My best advice? If you dont share the same views you should probably find a different boyfriend.

[macsha331]

That's not true. A lot of Muslims date when they're teenagers. Either has another girlfriend or maybe his parents don't want him dating.

[Asker]

His parents dont want dating

[macsha331]

Then you need to find out if it's worth sneaking around or not. He might just be saying his parents don't want him to date but maybe he does not want to be your boyfriend.

[EmmaMary]

Dump him and move on quickly whilst you still have a chance.

[Andrewlongguard]

What does that mean? 😅

[TheLuckyPizzaDog]

If you can't date then you're not really boyfriend and girlfriend in the ways that matter. You'd be girlfriend and boyfriend in label only. Do you like not being able to date or hold hands?

[iamshan]

Run now

[Asker]

I love this comment 😂😂

[downtofu]

I lol @ the comments. Anyways yes, it's his religion. Welcome to a conservative culture or the western world in 1940. I'm not Muslim. Stay if you want, leave if you can't.

[OmgItsJoe123]

Nope. I'm Muslim myself and I don't think there is nothing wrong with holding your girlfriend's hand. Well, to be honest with you, being in relationships (boyfriend and girlfriend) initially isn't accepted in Islam.

[SarahsSummer]

If he can’t date because of religion, then he can’t give the appearance of dating, which includes pda like holding hands

[Anonymous]

Get out now before you get too attached to him. His family will likely never accept you if you are outside of his culture and you will never be treated in a way that you seem to want (PDA is haram, along with a multitude of other things).

[madhatters4]

public displays of affection are frowned on in more conservative Islamic teaching

[Edanurus]

How can he be your boyfriend if he said he won't date you. Yes he wouldn't hold your hand, I've dated Muslim girls before, it can get complicated

[WalterRadio]

If you stay together, you are making a big mistake.

Dump him now and find someone else.

[Anonymous]

yes it does! In Islam the religion forbids people to touch each other unless they are married.. or just family members shaking hands or anything like that (nothing sexual between families ofc)

[margarita93]

Nah if he cannot date then he shouldn't call you his girlfriend

[joetribbiani]

Okay evidently Muslim law first of all doesn't allow any i ll legimate relationship, apparently it means you can't even hold up a hand

[TheCookieDealer]

Yep, it's custom in the religion if you're not married. If that's not what you want, run now

[Anonymous]

Yes he's trying to do his best to not touch you until he marry you but if he's doing that he really is caring about you