I was raised being a Christian. I was very religious and obedient of the church. But as I age, I notice the hypocrisy of most devoted Christians and how they judge non-believers. Most of them are bad, ironically-- cheaters, drug users, scandalous, and have many body counts as what my active-sex-life friends told me (not that having premarital sex is bad, it only varies to people and this also considers a sin in the Bible) and many more. And yes, I was also one of them-- having internalized misogyny, homophobic, overly judgmental, etc.
But now, being an atheist, I feel so much free and happy. I become more genuine to help and serve without the thought of having someone up there to bless me if I do so. I become more open and understanding to people's choices and expressions. I feel lighter now. No offense to believers, but I feel so dumb now remembering how much I believed the Bible before. Also, I don't pray but I receive many things and achievements that someone considers them 'blessings from above'. I only thank myself and the ones who've helped me, and I feel so full and contented. But okay, I still respect the Christians. But the real issue here, I still haven't opened myself up to my parents.
I'm still dependent to them despite being not a minor anymore-- well, being an Asian child u know. What if they will disown me? There's many what if's.
What should I do?
Please answer with respect, and don't shove in my face that I should try going back to 'God' because I'd never do it. Thank you ❤️
Is it okay to open up myself being an atheist to my hardcore religious parents?
Is this picture of you I look into your eyes and I feel that I see so many things you are one hundred percent right about Christians it's about every denomination it's almost as if the ones that are the holiest for the most righteous are the ones that do the most sinning it's kind of really remarkable how that works some of the most wrong people in this world h i d e behind religion and that's what makes me sick. There are a lot of really good people though and then there's people like me I admit I'm a sinner. And I will always be a. s i n n e r because I'm one of these people that want to know I want to understand and if I have to do something to experience it I do it just about everything on this planet is a sin I've never read the Bible I can tell you a lot about the Bible but I've never read it that's weird I don't like to go to church because I don't like somebody telling me they read a certain part of the Bible and this is the way it has to be because and when I went to church and I would hear that he read what he read well I didn't get that message at all I heard it in a whole different way. But he says it's his way of the way you better the way he sees it or it's hell for me I can tell you this if it's hell for me so be it. I do God's work in many ways but I will not be led anywhere I will not follow you have to understand when we were born we were all given a gift the gift is the word choose every single moment of the day we make a choice everything we do we make a choice choice is more powerful than the word love because we choose to love our we choose not to but we are giving that gift for one reason and that reason is we can become anybody we want to become we choose what we want to become by the things that we say we do no I can't tell you what to do like I told you I'm a sinner I'm one of the biggest sinners but I will not change my belief in God and become an atheist because then that way it's not a sin I would rather admit that I and a s i n n e r and if you ask me why I would be happy to tell you and whatever it is that you wanted to know just because I believe in God in Jesus Christ does not mean that I am perfect I don't want to be perfect I want knowledge I want you to understand I want to feel things and sometimes the only way to do it is to sin,, I'm not going to lie about it I'm not going to sugarcoat it I'm not going to beat around the bush I'm going to straight up tell you in a minute and accept it that's who I am that's what I did and I did it for this reason no justification just this reason if you do believe in God or Jesus Christ that's great I love that if you don't believe in then that's your choice we're all given that gift of choice
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I would strongly recommend that you ensure you are in a secure position on your own before you tell them because the potential for a serious backlash on you is very real and it would be awful to be trapped in a situation like that.
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Asker
+1 y
Yeah, I'd probably do that when I'm fully independent already. Thank you sir
I grew up in a christian environment and I had a rebellious phase when I didn't feel like going to church anymore and I hated the hypocrisy of most people I knew back then. I went for full honesty back then and said it was my problem, my beliefs were a personal thing and to stop suffocating me. It was a very harsh blow for my father but he respected my choice and accepted it wasn't something it could be forced down my throat. My advice for you is to be honest at all cost, authenticity is priceless, be it if you live as a christian or as a non believer.
Being an "atheist" means you don't get "judged" for doing whatever free thing you want to do. Being a Christian you get judged a lot. I think that's why it is so hard for you to tell your parents you are an atheist. It is becuase you think your parents will judge you. CHristians are not supposed to judge, they are supposed to love.
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Asker
+1 y
Yeaah, also, I think they will disown me. They force me to wake up early during Sundays to go to church. I can't pretend myself. I always look uninterested and moody. And they will scold me for it.
yeah Asian parents are like that. They are judgmental and controlling, which makes you want to rebel even more to just feel like you have your own choices to make and are free to make them. What can you do? It's hard.
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Are you certain you're an atheist, or are you just fed up religious hypocrisy, whether it be Christian or anything else? If you're certain that you don't believe in any sort of "higher power" or God, or "conscious life force responsible for the Universe", then ok - but why confront your parents with it?
If you're not being pressured to openly display their faith, like go to church, then what good will come of it right now? Wait until you're much older, or the situation becomes imperative. I guarantee it will only break their hearts right now, and it won't be worth the "freedom" you feel from it.
Worst case scenario if it comes up - just say you have your own personal beliefs and just don't want to share or discuss them. Say it's personal and they need to respect that. If they try and ask " Well, do you at least believe in God and Christ and are Christian", then say " which part of personal and I don't want to discuss it did you not understand?"
Oh, there's good reason for a lot of the old traditional ways. The idea that people should do every and anything may sound good but it doesn't consider the long term impact on society. That said, sure you're free to believe whatever you wish to. It's not honest to pretend to be something you're not. By the way, a lot of Christians are just fakers who do it for social benefits (same with other religions). Or in some countries you will literally be killed if you convert to the "wrong" religion.
First off, good for you. Second off, if you feel that you are in a safe position where if they do react badly, you'll have a secure place to go and escape, and it truly matters to you, go for it. Be yourself, and don't hold back in fear of what others might say about you.
If you feel that your parents would turn aggressive, and you aren't ready to face that, try to steadily build your independence and get away in time.
Good luck with that. I tried telling my Mom I was questioning my faith (in reality I was already an atheist) and my Mom disowned me outright. She used to have visions of the virgin Mary and eventually joined an order of nuns.
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There's no reason to tell them unless they ask. You can still attend church for social and family reasons. Just attending doesn't amount to actually believing the Christian stories are true. You wouldn't be the only person doing it either.
Basically what I'm saying is you can be an atheist without being a militant atheist. I'm an atheist too, and while, I don't regularly attend church, if I'm invited to a wedding or a funeral or something which includes religious ceremonies in a church, I don't resist joining in the prayer recitals etc on the grounds that I'm an atheist. We already know none of the superstition is true, so it doesn't matter either way whether or not you participate.
Study, get employment, live your life. Once you're independent enough, you can tell your parents you're an atheist. After all, there is nothing to be embarrassed for about not believing in imaginary superstition.
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Asker
+1 y
Thank you for this. None of my friends know either. I once told one friend that I am an agnostic theist, but he already judged me for it. So yuh, I'm kinda scared now. Thank youu sm 💕 i love wedding ceremonies, but not when the priest or pastor is INCLUDED.
Yes I understand. Probably a good way to think about how to behave around devout Christians or people of faith in general would be similar to how you wouldn't point out to a little girl that there's not really tea and milk in her toy China cups.
Congrats! I opened up as atheist when I was like 15/16? I was raised in a very similar environment. My family did not take it kindly. Guess who became the black sheep? Lmao.
I would make sure it's safe to do so. What do they think of atheists? A few members in my family had a meltdown over my loss of faith. Just enjoy the drama ig.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Sorry to hear you lost faith in God, though like many you have replaced it with faith in man. But you clearly have misconceptions, perhaps from your heart soil. All Christians are sinners, doesn't matter young, old, male, female, or ethnicity. All have sinned and failed God. Even in my own life I battled porn from 14 - 20. I stopped a week, a month, a year, but I was still controlled by it. It wasn't until I openly admitted the truth and repented that I have be freed of it. Over two years later I have been tempted, but God has delivered me from it. The sins of others is no justification of our own sins, we are accountable before God for how we live our lives. It is not my place to judge, but it is my duty to point to the Judge. Nothing in this lifetime is worth Hell. God will Judge us all for how we lived our lives.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
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Asker
+1 y
Good for you, but no matter how many verses u shove in my face, I'd never believe again in such 💕 it doesn't make sense to me that he gave you all freewill then judge u at the end, worse, go to hell. And why does he need unending worship.
Opinion Owner
+1 y
That is the beauty of it, Love is an act of free will. Without free will we could never truly experience love. He who does not love does not know God for God is Love. We fail, people fail, but God never fails. No greater love has a man than to lay down his life for His friends. I've seen enough bitterness and hatred in my life. I need love everyday, without God's love I'd fall apart. My parents love God, but my siblings hate my parents. I saw the bitterness my siblings had for them I felt the pain of my parents and the pain my siblings brought to me. I grew bitter towards my siblings but that was rotting my soul, God wanted me to forgive them so I have and have experienced healing. I still battle trust, but have gotten better thanks to God. As much as my siblings abused me and done awful things to me, I am just as fallen and sinful. God doesn't want us to rot or suffer. He did that for us out of love. Evil deserves to be punished. If people continue to do evil they are headed for destruction, out of God's Love for us there is a path away from evil, but people love evil. Worship means to places worth or value in, nothing is more valuable than God. God freed us from an eternity of death and pain, that is worthy of eternal praise and joy. Even I in this fallen state can not fully comprehend the splendor of Heaven, our minds are small and corrupted. No one wants to spend an eternity in this evil and painfully state. Those that turn away from evil through Christ will be given a new body free of corruption.
Hardcore religious folks are incredibly stupid, no disrespect intended. Feel free to open up, but remind them true Christianity teaches followers to love their enemies like they would their allies and themselves. If they can't do such with you, then they don't know the name Jesus. :)
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None of us can tell you whether you should tell your parents. Maybe you should, if the alternative is pretending to believe. Maybe not, if they don't raise the subject. Are you still living at home and expected to attend services regularly? If you are living away and they aren't asking, maybe you should just say nothing. It's possible they already suspect and would rather not know.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I had a similar upbringing, but I stared following Buddhism. I just liked the environment way better, no judgement, meditation, no expectations. That might be something to look into, for many Asian parents Buddhism is a very respectable religion.
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Asker
+1 y
YESSS, i heard about Buddhism, i might consider this soon
It's really nice, there is no pressure. You just go and sit, and that's it. It's actually really nice. You can talk with people outside if you want to be social, but if you just want to be alone that's good too. No hate like you get in christian/muslim churches.
Do not tell them you're an atheist until you are independent from them, trust me, do not. Just enjoy your inner freedom, and when you are not relying on them, then tell them.
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