Is there a way to introduce my religion to my boyfriend without being forceful?

Question

So I’m a Catholic and my boyfriend is agnostic. He said he doesn’t want to even try church which I respect. But one of my wishes is for my wedding to be at church and my kids to be baptised. We’ve been together four years now and I really see a future with him. Is there any way to make him less against the whole religion thing without forcing my views on him? The last thing I’d want to be is a bible basher.

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

Here's a basic definition for those who answer after me:
"The main difference between agnostic and atheist is the agnostic believes that it is impossible to know if God exists whereas the atheist fully believes that God does not exist!"

Ok - that said, your problem would be far less severe if you were not Catholic, but some other branch of Christianity instead that is less embroiled in dogma and doesn't have the deserved "bad rap" that Catholicism does. I don't want to debate that point with you, but let's just say the leadership of the Catholic Church worldwide leaves a lot to be desired. On a local level, it may be fine.

I believe that in order for your marriage to be "recognized by God", you must be married in a Catholic church by a priest, or has that changed? Also, the groom had to attend classes and agree to raise your children as Catholics, and a bunch of other stuff. I don't see that part going over too well with an agnostic. Personally, I'm Christian and I wouldn't want to "become" Catholic, so I doubt an agnostic would.

You could probably convince that baptisms are like "insurance", even if he doesn't believe they're necessary, how could they hurt? But again, are you willing to do it outside of the Catholic church? I think you could easily get married in a Methodist Church. They're much more accommodating.

Be ready for a dose of reality here - certain religious beliefs DO become deal breakers. Just as your "belief" may be paramount to your life, another's "non-belief" may be equally essential to their life. Best of fortune to you both, and may Love find a way.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Why do you want him to "look"? It sounds like you're not comfortable with differences in belief. What makes you think your beliefs are more rational than his?

My wife and I were both raised Catholic but drifted away from religion long before we met. I arrived at my agnosticism through years of studying world religions, the history of Christianity and Judaism, ancient history, mythology, cultural anthropology, a bit of philosophy, and dabbling in various so-called "pagan" and other spiritual beliefs.
My wife is very much into spirituality but not organized religions.

As for our wedding, we got married in a Catholic church in her home town of Cincinnati in order to please her parents and large family. That was important to her. Plus the whole white dress and formal Catholic ceremony makes for a classic, story book-style wedding. I didn't mind. I wanted her wedding to be special.

After our wedding, we went on a two week honeymoon. When we returned to our home in California, we had a second, non-sectarian wedding, officiated by one of my wife's friends who was a female lay-minister, in a very nice setting. That wedding was for my small family and all our friends. Our two weddings were a month apart.

Bratsondanielle · Accepted Answer

So without having any idea of religion at all, nor knowing agnostic or Baptist or anything, I'd say if you like each other, then live your life, have fun, go to dinner and movie and live together in peace. Who cares if you have two different invisible friends up above the clouds? You can just agree to not discuss that. If one is friends with jesus and the other likes budda oh well just agree I mean I only want drive American cars but my boyfriend with whom I live happily loves Europe cars so what? I have a ram and he has a I don't know wolkswagon bmw Toyota whatever right, and we don't care we just have different cars and he doesn't know any better sadly but we don't fight about it

Alwayreckles93 · Accepted Answer

You are in a hard situation. Honestly I think it is best for you to break up with him because who knows what can happen in n the future he might say okay let's get married just to please you but once his married he might not want to be part of the Catholic church. Believe it creates and issues been there done that I know From experience. I understand my answer isn't what you are looking for but I rather be honest and tell the thruth instead of making up a whole fantasy that will not happen. I advice you to break up and look for someone else that has your some believes same opinions you will save yourself a lot of headecks. Wish you the best.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. You are willingly going into a relationship knowing he will never believe or attempt to learn your religion. Optimistically, he will agree to marriage at church AT BEST! It will all be to make YOU happy. It will not be sincere. However, after your wedding and everything is over, don’t expect him to have some type of revolution in his faith. He is set in stone on his path. This is why the Bible teaches to not be unequally yoked (different beliefs) because converting is nearly impossible (I don’t know about the catholic bible, they are different). It’s a tug-of-war that you will lose or hurt your relationship over. My mom was Christian and Dad was atheist/agnostic. It wasn’t until he was in his death bed that he acknowledged some type of religious faith. That’s usually the only time people actually pray or show some faith, WHEN THEY ARE DYING. I’m telling you it’s not going to happen. You’ve already been in the relationship for 4 years. You are getting exactly what you’ve always had. Unless your boyfriend is prone to sudden massive life changes or experiences.

Fupse · Answer

I feel sorry for you but honestly no, there's one simple fact and it's you can't change people. Only person capable of changing others outside of themselves is God. If you marry someone with a different religion chances are your either gonna be divorced for very sad reasons and arguments or your gonna subside to his/hers will on things and be very miserable. And if your thinking "I can introduce them to this through marriage slowly and they will convert." Giant Red Flags To You. No you can't do that, if anything you will be the reason they never even consider converting. Note that all human beings are emotional and logical beings. So we think things thoroughly when we have decided on a belief. We will hold stead fast to it even if it's wrong. Being told your wrong doesn't change it. It's gotta be shown proven to such a measure and even then for some people it's never enough. So how then will you change another's belief on something that you can't prove? You can never change people. You can open the door and plant the seed. But you can't force them through it, or make it grow.

Anonymous · Answer

i was raised catholic and had it forced and shoved down my throat so much i grew to resent it especially when i started questioning almost everything in the bible. then i switched to being agnostic believing in God but not believing jesus was the son of god or the son of man or whatever catholics want to call it along with the whole adam and eve nonsense being first man and woman then rumors came of adam and lilith lilith being the first woman before eve. also like saying a few words can make water "holy" it was just ludicris so i stopped believing a lot of that stuff or how everyone is going to hell if they don't go to church every Sunday even though i know plenty of catholics who never did jackshit to help another person out but plenty of non catholics who helped so many people out who also don't go to church but according to catholicism those same people are going to hell for not going to church every Sunday
plus you also got people who cough and sneeze in their hands then expect to shake your hand with their germs all on them. and i know a few churches who took all that Sunday money and did elaborate paintings on their ceilings and put fake gold pillars and colored tinted glass windows etc spending more money on a damn brick building when that same money could of gone to help and feed the homeless providing them food and shelter.

Anonymous · Answer

History has proven to be the downfall of mankind. How many wars have been fought over religious beliefs.

Too many religious hypocrites. If you just confess your sins then it's OK to do whatever you want and your forgiven so you can sin again. Just look at how many priests have been convicted as pedophiles and how many times the church has covered it up. You can't tell me that is acceptable behavior for clergy let alone the people that attend church.

I was raised Catholic and the things that have been done have digusted me to the point, I will never set foot inside a church.

Next search Canadian residential schools and the atrocities they have uncovered that happened to native children in the schools run by churches. The mass Graves they are uncovering of the children taken from their homes, abused, killed and buried. Their families never knew what happened to them. The churches were going to teach the native out of them and those children were brutally treated. This is another example of religious hypocrisy.

Moose304 · Answer

As I am not Catholic I am not an expert on these kinds of relationships as they relate to Catholicism. All I know is I have a friend that is a Southern Baptist that is now married to a man that is a VERY devout Catholic. He fell in love with her but was not able to marry her until he got an OK from a high-ranking Bishop in Baltimore. As I understand it for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic without such an OK is committing a "Sin". Since your Catholicism seems to be important to you, I highly suggest you speak to a Priest!

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

If I was in your position I would play this with patience and just start by opening myself up with my believes, I'd worship, pray and read my Bible infront of her which I'm sure at some point it would bring curiosity to my partner if they see me do it constantly, the thing is that if you are religious and y'all live together, it's gonna be very hard just to avoid it because spirituality is real and I'm sure at some point, something is gonna trigger her curiosity if not her curiosity it might make her think twice if this stuff might be real or not, I'm very deep spiritually and I have the devil constantly trying to pull me out of my believes, I know she will see something at some point.

KatieB713 · Answer

Be honest and say that you understand it isn't something that is important to him, however your religion is important to you.
That you do not expect him to come to church etc, or anything however for you there are some thing that are very important, having a church wedding and would like your children baptised (however this does not mean you would not give any children the choice on what they believe, this is just something that is important to you)

Citizenkirk · Answer

Forcing your views on him is going to have the opposite effect on his views that you want and will turn him completely against your beliefs. For your wedding and your children's baptism, you may be able to find common ground if you approach him with these concerns the way you did us, explaining your feelings and asking him for those two concessions.
If he is a reasonable man, than he will listen and maybe concede your point, as long as you don't come across like you are shoving your religious beliefs down his throat or your children's.
Some give and take will require a bit of tact here, so good luck.

AdithyaR · Answer

There's no way to do that without seeming forceful. He has his beliefs for a reason and trying to change that it a red flag.
Religious beliefs are also a big part of compatibility in a long term relationship and things that's gotta be discussed with your partner. I'd urge you to talk to him about your idea of a wedding and having your kids baptized.
You're fully entitled to want to have your dream wedding and raising your kids with your beliefs but he's entitled to the same. If those beliefs clash then that's only gonna make things difficult.
Talk to him about it and if it is a non negotiable situation, you may both have to move on and find partners with similar beliefs.

cth96190 · Answer

You have painted yourself into a corner, by pursuing a type of relationship against which the Bible warns.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yolked unequally with unbelievers.
The Bible says clearly that Christians are to not have intimate relationships with unbelievers.

northerngal · Answer

Proceed with caution but tell him how YOU feel. Have a frank talk. This will need to be worked out to both of your satisfaction or frankly I think your relationship maybe in jeopardy. Religion is always a minefield.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

That's the problem when you love someone who doesn't have the same beliefs as yours...

He ain't even sure if there is a god or not and if someday he decides to believe in a god than his god ain't the god of the bible or jesus christ!

I can never be with a person who doesn't believes in god...

Christians, muslims, jewish or any person who believes in god makes me compatible with them but being an atheist or agnostic makes me repulse, i do not hate them and i respect their choice but i don't see myself having such friends or getting married to a woman who belongs to these 2 groups...

EaterPeter · Answer

Try not to have hidden agendas. You may share him exactly the way you putted it here. Are you two engaged? You may start with babe thus is really really important to me. I like to share this with you and live it to that we can set up a time to rediscuss. I like to get thus sorted out before we get married and I see it as huge conflict creator between us. It can be really helpful if we can discuss it soon enough or go PMC. That us structured premarital counseling. And this and other critical questions get answered before you get any further. There is an app I have yet to (want to) try called Lasting: marriage Co something.

SkyCastle90 · Answer

Agnosticism isn't about being against religion, but about accepting/respecting the practices and beliefs others' may have for their faith without denying nor accepting their faith as absolute truth.

If he was agnostic, he wouldn't have a problem with you practicing your faith and having minor parts of it as long as you're accepting of him not believing in it. It sounds like he's more atheist or may have a personal grudge against Christianity if he refuses to step foot inside a church.

front2back · Answer

My parents were a similar situation except my mom was a Methodist, which might as well make her agnostic as far as the Church sees it.

If you obtain permission from a Bishop you may marry a non-Catholic under the condition the children are raised in the Church (like me). You'll have to see how receptive he is to that idea. Maybe he could convert one day.

Anonymous · Answer

I am going through the same situation I really want my wedding to be through the church but he says he would feel like he is betraying his family because they are Buddhist and that’s how he was raised. I love him so it’s hard to just leave him like everyone says.

Siren777 · Answer

Communication is key. It's best to tell someone you're with from the beginning the most important views, beliefs etc before it gets serious and is way too late down the line. You say you've been together for 4 years and he still doesn't know? Why have you decided to keep this a secret from him for so long?

supercutebutt · Answer

Maybe hide a tiny Bible up your sniz? Then tell your boyfriend he must remove it using only his engorged penis or hungry mouth. Then tell him he has to read an entire page before you return it to your vagina. Then repeat the process. He will warm up to the idea of your crazy religion before you know it. :)

Agape93 · Answer

Talk to him about it. Tell him you won't expect him to convert or attend church, but that you always had your heart set on a church wedding and having kids be baptized. It's a nice compromise and it doesn't take away from anything.

annabananna · Answer

Have you ever invited him to church with you? You can do that as well as open up about your personal relationship with god.

Guy13 · Answer

Smile, bat your eyes, tilt your head, and in a soft voice…. You can say,

“honey, your going straight to HE double L in a hand basket 🧺 if you don’t confess your sinfulness, ask for forgiveness, and ask Jesus into your heart as Lord and Savior. You know you’re a train wreck, right❓I mean you have a good heart but I’ll be one place and you’ll be another 😢

Better_off_here · Answer

he will like you no matter what, if he really likes you and he will respect you, no matter what. i would not mind if a woman did have a passion for religion and i guess i would just tell him the truth and have him know it is important to you too. he does not have to understand but he should respect you.

Anonymous · Answer

bruh. atheist and agnostic are two different things, has he even said that he was against religion? I would assume he isn’t considering he’s agnostic. also, you need to communicate with him about these things. you can wait until you’re actually engaged or just casually bring up the topic in a conversation. you might not even get what you want, but who knows, if you just talk about it with him you can settle for something you’ll both be ok with.

sunflower00 · Answer

Talk to him about getting married in a church, he might be ok with it. But in terms of baptising the kids could you not just wait until they get a little older and then they can decide if they want to do that or not?

RealMarek · Answer

You cannot make him believe something he doesn’t believe. If he agrees to raise any children as Catholic you could ask that he learn enough about the faith to help teach it to the children. If it appeals to him he might change his mind.

KatherineJ · Answer

If he is willing to compromise when it comes to a church wedding and Baptizing any future kids, that’s pretty much all you can reasonably ask, I think. As far as converting him to being a churchgoer, that’s got to be his decision. Leave it at that.

888theGreat · Answer

you mean throw water on kids? You know that does nothing for them don;t you? My rule is I won't convert to a cult , so if she wants to waste her time going to a Catholic service ok. I won't be there , I will be at my church and we can alternate kid or kids each week. So , it will be her with me on Sundays or by herself. Just the way the cookie crumbles.

SignedAutographs · Answer

You can talk to him about if he's willing to listen to you about it. If he says no he doesn't want to hear it then you can't then force it on him. I'm an agnostic Jew. I identify as a Jew but I also question the existence of god at the same time. I just don't like what a lot of people do "in the name of god". That's why i try not to be a religious cult

Kurdistan1991 · Answer

I hope you convince. The man I love is also agnostic. According to my religion, if the man is not Muslim, you cannot get married. i love him so much i hope he becomes muslim

Phoenix98 · Answer

That’s why the Bible tells us to be evenly yoked when it comes to your partner. which basically just means be on the same page with you partner when it comes to religion.

jshm2 · Answer

Best not to as your faith isn't better than his belief

Texas2stepper · Answer

Agnostic huh? Ask him who created our beautiful earth and universe. Does he think “it just happened?”

Wade12345 · Answer

I believe in God (Yahweh) and I wouldn't attend a Catholic Church either. lol. Too much idolatry in Catholicism.

Adam1978 · Answer

This is the reason I don't date religious women. Because they can't keep their religion to themselves. You should respect his beliefs as you expect him to respect yours. Do not try to convert him.

dustybiker · Answer

Happiness has to come naturally and without effort. Forcing anything never ends well.

Anonymous · Answer

what is the intention of you introducing your religion? if it's too change his views and believes It will be not even forcefully but manipulative

let it be natural and just avoid the topic. Respect his believes or else, just talk too others that share the same believes as you. also don't look for excuses too bring up the topic

no religion is better than the other

Valso · Answer

Clearly you don't respect him at all, if you wanna impose your poisonous delusions on him. If you did respect him, you wouldn't even think about trying that.

TheBiggestBelieber · Answer

Hmm, so these are opinions no one can change. Tell him that ok, i respect your views, but why not come to church just for peace and relaxation, he might like the idea

jahaims · Answer

Look at it this way. He thinks God is just as imaginary as Santa. Do you think you can get a grown man to believe in Santa? Imaginary is imaginary.

tponderingundead · Answer

you can't really convince someone to be religious unless they are really willing.

Hangry06 · Answer

There's no way. If it's that important, just break up

Zygum · Answer

You try to convince him, if he doesn't agree, then you are quit relationship, do not crush your wishes as a true Catholic, and make angry, Jesus as he does not believe God. God will bless you better partner than that Non Believer

TDDMS · Answer

Try the following, "You want access to this pussy, start praying to my God!!!" And get back to us and lets us know how my advice worked for you.

Reijen · Answer

Let him know it would mean a lot to you if the kids could be baptised. I'm an atheist and I was baptised. Means nothing to someone if it means nothing.

admles · Answer

You don't. You sit down and talk with him about these concerns, you both come up with a solution that is acceptable to both of you. Otherwise, you break up, because it won't work.

Dargil · Answer

In conversation, tell him what you believe and why. Don't argue or debate.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

He either will go along sith your religion or he won't. He will have to want to seek out god on his own.

Twalli · Answer

I don't think he'll have an issue being married in a church. Churches are very nice buildings. The baptism thing may take a while.

Tamera952 · Answer

Yuck, why would you want to intentionally impart that misery on someone else. I hope he forcefully rejects your religion & tries to introduce reality & reason to you!

Anonymous · Answer

Generally no.
Imagine someone trying to tell you that they would like for you to marry off you 9yr old daughter, or suggested you wear a ninja mask always... Would you think it was ok?
Religions are poison. The rituals are nonsense.
You can’t expect him to feel ok accepting things he knows are foolish.

noohair · Answer

Well you are talking about something that should have been settled years ago.

Pohjolan · Answer

You could try to sell it as a cultural tradition. Like celebrating Christmas or eastern.

Slim57 · Answer

Not really but that should have been an early thought when you first found out, it's all going to come down to who's more hardheaded in their belief

Anonymous · Answer

nope  YOU SHALL BE HATED OF ALL MEN FOR MY NAMES SAKE  EITHER HE TURNS OR INTO THE SNAKE HE GOES  feels bad

Iron_Man · Answer

Keep working on him and never give up

Pooppoobi · Answer

You can't make an intelligent person believe. It's likely he has above 110 iq... And most religious People have below 100 iq... So you can explain to him all you want but he will never believe

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Break up now before it gets too heated.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I guess treat going to church like a date.

driven159 · Answer

just tell him what you would like

IsoUser · Answer

Catholics are always Guilt Ridden lol

Is there a way to introduce my religion to my boyfriend without being forceful?

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How do you talk about spirituality with someone whose religion greatly differs from yours?

Is there a way to introduce my religion to my boyfriend without being forceful?

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How do you talk about spirituality with someone whose religion greatly differs from yours?

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