How do you deal with interfaith relationships?

[Anonymous]

Before anyone asks no it’s not difficult for us nor are we fighting. I’d just like to hear from others specifically atheists with religious people or people in relationships with vastly different religions how you navigate it and what you do to merge your lifestyles

Updates

+1 y

I really don’t understand why so many of you took this as a chance to be shitty about religion🤷‍♀️There’s places for that this wasn’t one of them, I’m not offended I’m just wondering if you’re all THAT traumatised or just stupid

[MORPHEUS_12]

Religion truly is the opiate of the masses. I am very fortunate to be with only one person for 30 years and he is not religious and was not brought up in a religious household. As time goes on I am noticing fewer and fewer people spouting religious crap.

[Sunssong]

Just don't comment if you have nothing nice or helpful to say.

[Asker]

As Sunssong said. You have nothing helpful to say you just want to be hatful so leave

[Tamera952]

I don’t, plain and simple. I can’t even pretend that their beliefs deserve to be respected, when they are so ridiculous.
So I challenge their belief systems, & try to show them how absurd their bullshit is.

[Asker]

Well at least you acknowledge that it’s not a good relationship for you to peruse

[normalice]

I'm not religious so as long as they keep it to themselves it's a non-issue. If it starts requiring accommodation I will evaluate it from an entirely transactional point of view, however, as I owe nothing at all to any religion. Well, except Discordianism. That made me laugh briefly.

[Asker]

I’m questioning the keep it to themselves and require accommodations. Any religious person is going to have their religion be a part of their life that their partner would see, and to some extent accommodate.

[normalice]

Right, and I would view those accommodations from an entirely transactional perspective. Once the balance sheet shows the cost is greater than the benefit, it's over.

[Asker]

So you’d be fine to accommodate their beliefs as long as you didn’t feel that you weren’t being taken into account?

[normalice]

To a point, yes. But the magnitude of each side of the tradeoffs would be a little arbitrary, and not at all consistent. Like, I might tolerate driving her to church on Sunday if she gives me a back rub on Sunday nights. But if I start wanting to do things on Sunday mornings i might start to require more than a back rub.

[Asker]

It doesn’t sound like you’d be a good partner or a religious person tbh something as minimal as them going to their place of worship shouldn’t require them to do you a favour

[normalice]

No, requiring that I drive them. They would be free to drive themselves. It was only a hypothetical example, anyway.

[Asker]

Why would you need to drive them? You also didn’t say that. You said them going. Hypotheticals are who we evaluate these situations so they’re not unimportant

[normalice]

No, it says driving. I just checked.

[TracyF]

You need to be equally yoked with your spouse. Otherwise it all just dies in the end.

[Asker]

I agree but I disagree you have to have the same religious beliefs

[Babygirl_S]

I'd change my religion according to his wishes.

[Asker]

Can I ask what religion you currently follow and why you’d change it?

[Babygirl_S]

Atheist and I can follow any religion except Islam. I would change it to avoid any inconvenience.

[Asker]

I’m asking this genuinely and mean no offence I swear but why if you don’t believe in god do you feel that could change?

[Babygirl_S]

Most guys aren't very religious anyway.

[Asker]

So for you would it be more of a (sorry if this is a disrespectful way to say this I’m not trying to be) an on paper conversion rather than a real one?

[Babygirl_S]

You can say that because I don't like very religious people.

[Asker]

So I’m quite religious but I’m Jewish and don’t believe in proselytising, if you don’t know we generally reject converts a few times and it’s a long process. We also don’t believe non Jews are wrong or less than/not as good people. I doubt you’d be able to convert due to your beliefs, would that change things for you? Also again I promise this is genuinely curiosity, I am not judging I just think this is a particularly interesting take on this topic.

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend is Jewish. I forgive her for what her people did to my lord and saviour.

[jshm2]

Depends on what you're both looking for out the relationship.

[Asker]

As I said not looking for advice we’re fine. Asking others about their experience

[Agape93]

Respect my beliefs, i respect yours. Easy.

[Asker]

Thank you. I completely agree with this, I haven’t really had any respectful responses so this means a lot

[Agape93]

Anytime hon

[Anonymous]

I don't date mentally unbalanced people.

[Asker]

What a horrible response

[Tamera952]

Are you kidding me, that’s the best and most reasonable response yet!

[Sunssong]

@Tamera952 The comment and yours and yours @morpheus_12 lack courtesy for others. I'm not religious but even a child could see your behavior is wrong. It's obviously coming from an emotionally place aka your subconscious and the way you're programmed. You cannot accept someone else who is different. Just because you don't understand it doesn't give one the right to be a jerk. The girl is half your age on top of that.

[Tamera952]

@Sunssong You’re wrong. I can accept plenty of people that are different. I’m not pre-programmed any which way either, …it’s been many years worth of experience to arrive at this perspective. Also, it is something I clearly understand & plainly do not respect. I do not have any respect for religious people, as I made clear in my answer, which I stand behind. I’m not going to accommodate someone’s religiosity (mental pollution) & pretend that it’s just a simple difference of opinion, or try to respect their absurd, hypocritical, & in my opinion, dangerous views — regardless if I come across as jerk. So there.

[Asker]

@Tamera952 Having religious beliefs is not dangerously I don’t know if you have some religious trauma but if so you need to work that out in therapy. Religious people aren’t any less or more delusional than you and you really need to take some time and think about why you have such an issue

[Asker]

@Tamera952 You don’t come across a jerk you come across as an intolerant bigot, you come off the same as the people who tell you you’re going to hell for not believing, you come off the same as someone in a cult.

[Tamera952]

I wholeheartedly disagree. I could make the case that certain religious beliefs are indeed dangerous. I realize that this is not generally the case, nor is it black & white, & I’m speaking of more extreme cases of religiosity — but what seems rather benign & righteous to somebody, is something entirely different to me.
... AND, also would strongly argue that they are certainly more delusional than non-believers, because simply, they would have to be. They would have to be delusional on some level to ‘believe’ such irrational & delusional things. By the very nature of what they espouse & ‘believe’ & want others to believe, is well, nothing short of delusional.
People’s religious beliefs are very normalized in society & already enjoy far too much undue respect. These are everyday normal people, on the same page as everybody’s else — that live in the same world as you & me, under the same general understanding of society’s rules, but when it comes to this one topic alone (their religious beliefs & convictions) they are “allowed” tons of room & given too much respect already, to participate in the charade of faith, to revel in the pageantry of falsehoods & fairy tails, to rejoice in the nonsensical & crazy, & to judge & shame others through that prism; …& have (in my opinion) insane, dangerous, derisive, & laughable beliefs. People tip toe on eggshells around someone’s religious beliefs, & given a pass by society at large, to never have their silly beliefs called out - that’s all.
Trust me, there’s no religious trauma. I admit my opinion on this is rather extreme. But that said, I would treat even the craziest most passionate delusional religious fool with respect & humanity despite all that — & do not think of myself as intolerant nor a bigot — well, the only thing I guess I’m intolerant of, is stupidity. And to me, religion is of course, stupidity on a grand scale.

[Asker]

@Tamera952 so let’s go through this. Yes some religious extremists are dangerous however your beliefs here are fundamentally dangerous. People of my religion and many other are regularly (and have a history of) being attacked, targeted, murdered, judged, disrespected, and discriminated against for their beliefs. When you deny this and say such things about how we ‘are given too much respect’ you (while you personally might not be dangerous) empower those that are.

Also no religious people are not more delusional than you, just because a concept is outwith your understanding doesn’t make it delusional. I have no understanding of how someone could not believe in god, however I’m not running around calling you delusional or pretending you’re stupid.
.

[Asker]

@Tamera952 You use extremely disrespectful language when you talk about religion which is extremely telling in and of itself but that ‘pageantry’ is tradition and important aspects of culture and faith, very different from ‘pageantry’. Those ‘fairy tales and falsehoods’ are sacred religious texts and beliefs again just because you don’t have the ability to understand a concept doesn’t make it stupid. I find it hard to take you genuinely when you’re blatantly lying about the experience of many religious people and using insanely disrespectful terms to talk about things of such importance.

Now I will agree with you on one point religion should never be an excuse to be a shitty person or judge others for how they choose to live their life, religion may inform our morals but we have to respect others and not attempt to control them. In my religion, people outside of the religion aren’t even supposed to follow our laws in the first place.

I will say right now you have not treated me with respect, you’ve lied about how society treats me, made fun of and played down my intelligence and insulted my faith, therefore I don’t believe you’d treat religious people with respect at all. This was not respect and if you believe it is you need to work on that. I’m happy you have no religious trauma but that honestly makes this a lot more concerning.

I’m better than returning your insults or playing into them but I genuinely do hope you find a way to make peace with all the hate inside you

[Tamera952]

People of all religions at one point or another in history, I suppose have been persecuted— but I’m obviously talking about 2023 in the USA, where a person can freely worship as they wish. I’m not “denying” anything, I just don’t think it’s relevant in this discussion, much less a problem in this day ‘n age — With Christianity being the by far dominant religion in the very pious USA, I can say with confidence that Christians are NOT being attacked, murdered, etc. in any way.

And I disagree about the delusional part. It’s not a matter of some concept being beyond my understanding — it’s a matter of buying into fairy tales. It’s a matter of gullibility with a halo. It’s a matter of pretending ‘faith’ is a virtue & something to be prized. It’s a matter of suspending your critical thinking abilities. It’s a matter of every silly religion on Earth sparring over whose cult is right. It’s a matter of cultivating ignorance. It’s a matter of abuse of power. It’s a matter of hypocrisy.
— So yes, why anybody would intentionally get mixed up with that nonsense is beyond me. Choosing to not participate is logical & sensible (to me). Choosing to ‘make believe’ with everyone else is delusional (& a waste of time & energy).
Period, full stop.

[Tamera952]

Yes I do use very disrespectful language - that is intentional, because I’m disrespecting it.
I’m not lying about how society treats you, because I have no idea about that. I have no idea about how you’ve been treated.
I will agree I certainly have played down your intelligence & insulted your faith, that’s totally true — but I AM being civil, & my whole point was, that in real life, if we crossed paths, I’d give you the same respect that I always give all strangers, based on mutual respect for your humanity. I respect you as a person, but I don’t respect your silly beliefs. Call them cherished all you want, I think they’re abhorrent. But all the same, I’d still say ‘please’ & ‘thank you’ & hold the door for you.
Debating & having a spirited conversation on here (to me anyways) is an inherit part of the site. I’m not singling you out.
But regardless, I live by the golden rule, & that’s about it.

[Asker]

@Tamera952 And here we see the issue with all you anti theists, you think religion = Christian. You also believe everyone lives in the USA which is a totally different kind of ignorance. People of my religion certainly are still being murdered and attacked even in the USA, maybe this is your real issue? You’re so USA Christian centric that you’re unable to expand your mind to other religions never mind the rest of the world.

Again fairy tales I’m not going to again be nice so let me be candid you believe as many fairy tales as me, your fairy tales are just simply different. Religion isn’t illogical and to say so proves nothing more than that you lack the intelligence to understand anything outside of ‘BUT MEEE AND WHAT I THINKKKK’ so yeah no I’m not going to entertain that AGIAN

[Asker]

@Tamera952 Wow I’m so glad you wouldn’t be so disgusting to my face because I love nothing more than someone being two faced, I don’t want your fake respect which is exactly what you give. Again I’m not going to be nice anymore, you aren’t being civil you’re being awful and I’m not even giving 30% back. Here it is, you’re a terrible person who can’t look outside of their own bubble and is actively contributing to the oppression and harm of many people with these disgusting views and for a woman your age that’s simply pathetic.

You need to seek professional help and learn how to be a normal person, and you need to travel ffs

[Tamera952]

At risk of sounding repetitive, the respect I referenced was that in which I [would] give you in real life, as a person, & by virtue of you being a human — apart from whatever cult you’re in. I’m not attacking you, I’m attacking your silly beliefs. You can be in a cult all you want, but don’t try to tell me it deserves respect or that it’s somehow makes you special, cause it isn’ & it doesn’t.
.
My views are hardly “disgusting” — maybe pragmatic, realistic, rational, & pointed.
And again, to be clear, I hate all religions equally. They’re all symptoms of the same sickness. Everyone of course, does not live in the USA. My feelings on religion transcend nationality, but you erroneously point to that as some kind of bias on my part.

I’m obviously most familiar with the Christian assholes here in the USA, but don’t get it twisted - there are similar fervent assholes in every religion. You getting hung up on your particular persecuted religion (whatever the heck that may be) or your location (wherever the heck you are) is wasting both our time, with non-ancillary trips down dead end rabbit holes, & missing the main point & thrust.

So to refresh, that would be: Yes, not only is religion ILLOGICAL, it is the quintessential definition of ILLOGICAL thinking. There is nothing LOGICAL about it. And it’s not just me who thinks so - however I just happen to be rather vocal & in your words, “awful” about it.

* Your suggestion of ‘professional help’ is literally laughable, but ok duly noted. Yes, can you imagine the therapist’s face when I say I am seeking help because I bad-mouthed religious people & insulted their not-so-glorious faith? …LoL. 👌 *

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have this issue because I would only date a Christian.

[Asker]

Then obviously this question didn’t ask nor want your response

[Opinion Owner]

😆😆😆

[moonpie89]

It's hard.. not worth it in the end

[rainsonn]

This is just a you problem.😊

[Asker]

As I said I don’t have a problem. My relationship is fine, I naively thought that adults could deal with the mention of religion like adults🤷‍♀️

[slatyb]

I sounded that by not dating believers.

[Asker]

No offence but if you’re dating within your beliefs you aren’t relevant here