It's mother's day and the grief from her passing is breaking me. Advice?

[Cherrylicious]

I know I'm going to hear the "we're all gonna die" comments from everyone as expected but honestly that's the last thing I wanna here as I'm obviously aware that no one lives forever.

My mom passed away from pancreatic cancer 4 years ago at age 52 and I had a very close relationship with her because she was everything to me because I never had any friends because I've always been an introvert and me and my mother were so much alike we were like twin souls and had so much in common so she was pretty much all I knew my whole life so when she died, everything changed and nothing has been the same.

Every single day I pray to her in heaven hoping and wishing that I will die soon just to be in heaven with her because I'm still very sad living on this planet without her and I still grieve and cry myself to sleep at night sometimes and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her no matter where I am or what I'm doing she is constantly on my mind 24/7 and it's bugging me knowing that there is nothing that I can do about it so I feel like the only solution that will stop my pain is death because what more can you say to a grieving person that is lost a loved one. I am unmarried and don't have a partner or children nor do I plan to but it's only me and I feel like the only reason I am hanging on to life, is due to obligation for my family's sake because I don't want to hurt them if I were to die but it's too hard. What do I do? How could I expedite my dreams of being in heaven with her come true sooner? What is your advice? Please I am broken😭

[BCRanger10]

I know I'm a couple of days late on this, so I apologize in advance!

First, my condolences and prayers for you in your grief 🙏🙏🙏

It's one thing - and a normal and reasonable one - to still feel sad every so often when you remember something you did together or on your birthday, or something or other. But if the grief is your constant companion, if it's always hanging and drifting over you like a cloud, following you like your own shadow, then that's when it's a problem.

That doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't feel sad. It just means that you need to address what's making you feel and think as you do and try to move forward with your life. Your parents gave you life, but to be in a consistent state of sadness is not living, not fully at least. In a way, it contradicts the role of a parent. You are their posterity, you are their legacy.

So that's why I'd say that, even though you might not want it, the best way to remember and most importantly, honor your mother, the relationship you two had, and the love you shared, would be to give it to someone else so that they can know and experience the joys of love. So yes, I am saying that you might at least consider marriage and a family of your own.

And for what it's worth, I don't know what your specific religious beliefs are or if you are an active member of a church. But may I recommend, as a Catholic, that you look into Saints Elizabeth Ann Seton, Angela Merici, and Gemma Galgani? They are patron saints of those who are grieving the loss of parents. And for what it's worth, the story of St. Therese of Lisiuex's First Communion is quite beautiful (her mother also died when she was young). And other than the Blessed Virgin Mary, I think one of the greatest examples you could look into is Pope John Paul II. He lost his entire family all by the time he was a young man (younger than you); "I had never felt so alone in my life", he wrote about returning home from work one day to find his father, his last remaining family member, dead. On a personal level, that's a very piercing statement to me now that I'm a husband and father myself.

Prayers for you in your grief and for the repose of your mother's soul 🙏

And hugs 🤗 God bless, dear Cherry.

[jshm2]

Crying isn't going to do anything. Be more productive, sponsor cancer charities in her name. plant gardens in her name, do charitable things in her name, etc etc.

Not only will it help you over the grief, but it will mean a lot more to your mothers memory as well.

[exitseven]

It sucks when one of your parents die. I am sure that your mother would not like you to obsess about dying.
Sometimes you can imagine her still at your side giving you advice and encouragement.
My father died many years ago. I still hear him sometimes telling me to suck it up and don't give up.

[eagle1951]

wish i had some to give you lost my wife 7 years ago my mom in 06.

[Cherrylicious]

Sorry for your loss my condolences.

[DrPepper12]

Give yourself grace, space & time. That's all

[nicfire171]

Was your mom a Christian?

[Cherrylicious]

No she was never religious and neither am I.

[nicfire171]

Oh dang that’s sad I’m sorry