How can a friend forget that my mother passed away?

[MizzArtFreak89]

As you know it’s Mother’s Day and it’s the second one with her deceased. It’s super difficult because our mom is no longer with us but I did things in memory of my mother.
One of my friends texted me and asked what did I do for my mom on Mother’s Day. I told him last year that she passed away. He probably forgot. Don’t real friends remember?

I just don’t feel like responding to him or anybody. Sounds rude but that’s how I feel. I’ll answer him later or tomorrow.

[SteveSmith1985]

I think that you probably shouldn't judge the strength of the friendship based on this. It's not ok that he forgot. But it is indeed him forgetting. Not thinking. Whatever you want to call it. It's not him not caring enough to remember. Even if you were an acquaintance he would feel like an asshole for not remembering. I do understand why you're upset receiving that message. You can take as much time to reply as you want. Reply in a week if you want. Let him know that he messed up. Because he did. But I wouldn't hold this against him long term. I don't think it means anything. I think it was a stupid mistake.

[MizzArtFreak89]

We’ll I’m not going to stop talking to him forever but he should have been paying attention. It’s just that it’s too upsetting.

[SteveSmith1985]

Agreed! Totally agree. It's not ok for him to have done at all. Don't get me wrong. I just mean I don't think its a measure of caring. But yea, he definitely should have been paying attention. He fucked up. No doubt about that.

[MizzArtFreak89]

Yeah. I’ll forgive him but he should know better

[WindAtMyBack]

Unless they personally knew your mother fairly well, I don't see why they should be expected to remember such a thing. Even if he knew, he probably just asked without really thinking about it.

It's not rude, and certainly nothing to get upset about.

[MizzArtFreak89]

He knew her

[WindAtMyBack]

He just forgot. Not a big deal.

[MemeSupreme]

a lot of people suck about that and its weird when it happens bc you know you'd never forget something like that. its normal to feel upset

some people just have different priorities in what they remember. how do you think you'll respond to him

[Anonymous]

People can be forgetful but men especially. In any case you don’t have to respond, you don’t owe him or anyone else an explanation. They should know better.

[MizzArtFreak89]

Well he may think I’m being rude or dislike him for not responded but it hurts so, I don’t want to respond right now

[Opinion Owner]

You can’t worry about that

[MizzArtFreak89]

Yeah you’re right

[RavVid]

Well I wouldn't forget is all I can say. If I am not that close I'd communicate a diff day. If I am close I'd ask how you are doing today with genuine concern.

I'd think the your friend isn't that much of a friend or a person who is only invested in themselves.

[MizzArtFreak89]

Well I don’t know about that. I mean he did ask but he knows that my mom passed away. I mean he’s autistic like I am but still, no excuse.

[RavVid]

I had the impression that he asked in the sense of what you did, forgetting you had lost your mother.

Autistic makes sense here but even so an autistic person could reason that you would be experiencing emotions even if they don't understand those emotions. As you say, no excuse.

[MizzArtFreak89]

Yeah true that

[exitseven]

I think that real friends would remember but it is possible that they have forgot/

[MizzArtFreak89]

Probably yeah. I’m sure he didn’t mean to forget but it still hurts.

[exitseven]

yes, I bet it does.

[MizzArtFreak89]

Yeah I just don’t want to answer him right now. He may think I’m being rude for not answering but whatever.

[exitseven]

@MizzArtFreak89 you can forgive him for this

[MizzArtFreak89]

I will. I know he didn’t men too

[MizzArtFreak89]

Mean too I mean

[jahaims]

He could remember and still ask that. What if he thought you went to the grave site our something similar.

[linka_pat307]

He iss not a true friend

[MizzArtFreak89]

We’ll it’s kind of sad to hear but yeah if he’s a true friend, he would remember but I’m sure he didn’t mean to forget.

[linka_pat307]

Yeah we cab give him the benefits of doubts

[WonderingManII]

Yikes, I thought I was bad.