Search Results: insecurity

I went through this about 10 years ago. My then 25 year old girlfriend made more than me when I was 32. But at the time I was pursuing a dream (I was a professional athlete) and I my time was consumed with training. I was no dead beat but I just had a different focus at the time.

I was doing freelance work just to pay the bills and I was struggling. She even offered me money at one time (which extremely kind of her) but it I turned it down out of pride and went further in debt.

Anyway the insecurity was on my side when it can to this (also contributed to our break up). She didn’t care but I did. It had a lot to with being raised to “be a man” when it came to being a breadwinner.

Nowadays I make a lot more money given I’m retired from my sport and have full focus on my career. But I am also a lot more “boring” now since I’m no longer the free wheeling adventurer I once was.

But money is a touchy issue. Form a evolutionary perspective I really do believe most women still subconsciously expect a man to provide for them even it’s unnecessary or impractical. They might get into short term flings with guys who offer other benefits (looks, excitement, adventurer, personality, etc) but when it comes to long term commitments they have a much higher bar on this

I also believe when a woman makes more money then her boyfriend/husband she’s more prone to cheating. Especially if she is comparable to him when it comes to looks (maybe she will stay loyal if she’s physically unattractive compared to him)

In fact I believe it’s unfairly more socially “acceptable” for a woman to do this given the guy is considered a “chump” if he is financial dependent on her. More more acceptable then vice versa.

I have a divorced uncle who worked a low paying his entire life and was supported by his (comparably) rich wife. She was no multi millionaire but she earned a lot more than him.

She ended up cheating on him the entire marriage. He tolerated it because they had kids and he needed support.

This might just be me but i really like it when a person is so real around me that they are not afraid to reveal they’re insecure or vulnerable about things. Makes me see their humanity come out and allows me to empathize with them more. I also tend to respect people who aren’t afraid of showing them either.

Examples can include: dudes expressing more emotions than they usually do and aren’t shy with them, people getting emotional over movies or tv shows, unafraid of admitting their vices, people admitting what they’re afraid of, general faults they know they have. Just things that might open them up to judgement by people but not caring if people do judge them if that makes sense.

now it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t work on them and try to improve but in general i just like people being themselves completely around me.