Search Results: really interested, just being nice

I hate to say it but as man I usually have my mind made up within 30 seconds of meeting a woman of how physically attracted I am to her.

Emotional attraction does still weigh heavily into it though. She can be hot af but if I can’t stand her personality and/or she’s has no genuine interest in me I can move on. I can also move on a lot faster nowadays vs. when I was younger.

But the issue is often come across women I find that are 5’s or 6’s. They aren’t repugnant or anything but I don’t feel any butterfly’s in my stomach either. More often than not they really like me because while I am nice to them I also don’t bend over backwards for them either. I’m just as happy to be there or not be there. Either way is fine. So it’s easy to be myself.

But as a man I find that the ugly truth is I have never found myself growing in attraction for average looking women despite some of them having excellent personalities. I really have tried to “check myself” on this. Tell myself to look deeper. Tell myself to “grow up”. Feel guilty af about it.

But if tried to force myself to date and commit to average looking yet great personality girls in the past. It always ends in disaster. I quickly lose interest in sex and find myself having less patience about their problems. And I know that’s not fair at all.

Is it possible for a man to slowly fall in love with a woman he isn’t attracted to?

I am asking this because I have an opportunity to get married to an average looking girl who is outstanding in all other ways. She’s a very hard worker, respectful, excellent personality, moderate conservative, has no vices, etc. She’s also younger (27) yet mature and independent.

Yet she has a rather unattractive face and I feel Iike complete shit saying that. She’s was born with that those facial features and has zero control over them. I keep kicking myself not to judge that but it’s hard.

For me that feels like it is the case despite being one and the same body. Basically it goes like this.

Me: I love girls, they are so nice.

Brain: They want your money!

Me: Shut up brain! It's not true and you know it.

Brain: It's not my fault you kept watching so many gold digger videos. I am reflecting what you were doing.

Me: (raises both palms before my head) OK, fair enough, there's no denying in that. But please enough is enough already. Besides there were girls, who weren't impressed by expensive cars and gifts and they kept being with the same guy.

Brain: Hah! We'll see about that. Get a girlfriend and prove me wrong. Then maybe I will give it a rest.

Me: 😓 If only it was so easy and you're driving a hard bargain.

Brain: It's a fair deal. Just think about it and get motivated. Show me they're not interested in your money and i will reconsider what I'll give you as random thoughts.

So yeah, obviously i will not tell girls nor a girlfriend, that this is what goes on in my head. It will scare them away, they'll think, that i think, that they are gold diggers and that will just make them fume of anger and it's generally not nice to hear about it. I'm better than that. Unless she's really open minded, understanding, very curious and/or a psychotherapist. I'm probably a bit crazy but aren't we all?