Search Results: being one of the guys

I recently left while my spouse was at work because I had a gut feeling I was no longer safe and wouldn’t get another chance to leave. There were many reasons I left and had packed a “go bag,” but it still hurts…. I still feel like I didn’t give him enough chances and like maybe I was the manipulative one or somehow mucking things up… I just… felt like I needed to leave… I checked into a hotel under an alias and left the area and only texted him twice—the first to say I went on a mini weekend getaway and the second to say I was taking an extended time away. I flew to my mom’s and have been no contact directly with him since. Every time he speaks to my family (who reached out to settle a few things on my behalf), he tries to say I was just so mentally unwell and that I’ve stuck him with *soooo many bills.* For reference: my family and I pay the entire rent still, I paid off any bills that are in my name that we were handling jointly, and have been working on getting my phone and car insurance separate from his. The only new thing he has been responsible for is buying his own food—otherwise, his expenses have gone down. He has been telling others that this is why he’s “had to work so many more hours” (again for reference: he was working 30 hours and I was working 50-55 hours a week).
He also has been moving his guy friends all into the apartment and they stay there for weeks at a time despite that being against the lease.

I guess… I just… am I being stupid? Did I muck up something I shouldn’t have?

So I was speaking to a guy for a while, he was really nice, really sweet and I was obsessed but mostly only when I was drunk. I felt bad for how I treated him and decided I wasn’t gonna speak to him or see him again. My pal pretty much forced into going on a night out with him by guilting me so I couldn’t say no. I went in this night out and right enough drunk me can’t control myself around him even though I can’t see him sober because I get scared of the age difference. So, again I am not speaking to him, and I have been avoiding him for over a month… my friend (who is one of my best friends) promised me he would not be at her birthday. She has left it until last second and said to me oh he’s coming by the way. So now I am panicking and I don’t really want to go but I’d be a bad friend if I bailed so now I am stuck going and I need to see him which I really really don’t think I can do without having a panic attack. Is it fair that she done that? Also what would you do in my position?