Is my friend being fair to me?

[sophie555]

So I was speaking to a guy for a while, he was really nice, really sweet and I was obsessed but mostly only when I was drunk. I felt bad for how I treated him and decided I wasn’t gonna speak to him or see him again. My pal pretty much forced into going on a night out with him by guilting me so I couldn’t say no. I went in this night out and right enough drunk me can’t control myself around him even though I can’t see him sober because I get scared of the age difference. So, again I am not speaking to him, and I have been avoiding him for over a month… my friend (who is one of my best friends) promised me he would not be at her birthday. She has left it until last second and said to me oh he’s coming by the way. So now I am panicking and I don’t really want to go but I’d be a bad friend if I bailed so now I am stuck going and I need to see him which I really really don’t think I can do without having a panic attack. Is it fair that she done that? Also what would you do in my position?

It’s fair

It’s not right

Updates

8 mo

So I am now dating said man I was avoiding…

[NinaDobr12]

It doesn’t really sound fair at all. If your friend knew how strongly you felt about avoiding this guy and even promised he wouldn’t be there, then springing it on you last minute is definitely hurtful. A best friend should respect your boundaries, not push you into situations that cause you panic.

If I were in your position, I’d be honest with her: “You told me he wouldn’t be there, and now I feel trapped. I don’t want to ruin your birthday, but this is really hard for me.” That way you’re not just bailing, but you’re also making it clear that she broke your trust.

At the end of the day, your mental health and peace matter. If going will make you feel unsafe or panicky, you’re not a bad friend for protecting yourself. A real friend would understand why you couldn’t come under those circumstances.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If you only act like that when you’re drunk, don’t drink.

[Anonymous]

I think Love Doctor Brad explained it quite well.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO

[AI Opinion]

Oh, sweetie, that's a pickle 🍭! Your friend's last-minute surprise of inviting him might feel like a sucker punch, but maybe they're just trying to be fair to everyone. It's completely fine to protect your peace and skip this one if it's too much for you to handle. If you do decide to go and feel jittery, create an escape plan or buddy system with another friend. Keep your distance yet classy and maybe fall in love with the art of dodging 😉. It's all about what keeps your heart calm and collected! Sending you all the good vibes! 🌟