Search Results: do people really change

"Look at her... she's so pretty!!"
"Why aren't you like your brother, he's smart."

I'm not sure this is just Eastern culture. It seems like complimenting the third person in order to compare your partner, kid or friend is a trick to motivate someone to improve themselves. But does it work?

For me, as the 3rd person, this behavior could bring me troubles, eg. the persons being compared turned to me instead of taking actions to change something about them. I know they're upset and then became rude and criticized me (at the first time we met). That's why I don't feel good when a married man/boyfriend compares their partner with me. It actually causes more self-doubt because I'm still single. Above all, I prefer to have other ladies to be my friends, not enemy.

If you have been compared, how do you feel, REALLY?

Would you confront the person who does so, and tell him or her about your feelings and thoughts?

I'm sure many of you don't have the balls to do one or the other, but I'm wondering if you think this is acceptable. Do you wish more or less people would do this? Do you wish you could do this?

Someone told me not to talk to strangers, and this is in NYC. I don't know if NYC has just become less open to talking because of crazy shit happening or if people have lost their social skills or if this is really just too weird? Times have changed, so I am curious about your thoughts. Please share.