Do women shit test people beyond romantic partners (friends, family and/or work colleagues)?

[Anonymous]

I’m (painfully) aware of this notorios female mental quirk when it comes to shit testing. But I also know it’s unfortunately biological for most women. They often times don’t even realize they are doing it.

There was a time in history where women had to test men so by their (subjective) judgment if they could determine if he was the right man for her or not.

That’s not to say it’s effective. Women often self sabotage themselves and screw up good things by doing this. But I have to accept it’s a mental quirk they just can’t help. It’s subconscious.

But I am beginning to wonder if this extends into platonic relationships too.

About 7 years ago I had to draw the line on a female relative who incessantly harshly criticized and judged me for me doing anything outside of being her very narrow worldview of being normal. Then one day I hit a breaking point (it had to do with her criticizing a relationship I was in)

At that point forward I completely stopped communicating with her. I straight up said “until we talk about some things there is going to be a boundary between us”. Never texted or called her and would only see her at family events. When we did briefly talk it’s very superficial. 7 years.

Predictably she doubled down on playing victim and refused to talk to me privately (she was used to having my dad play her “enforcer”when she doesn’t get her way). But I stuck to it. I had to draw a line. It was agonizing but I didn’t budge.

Sure enough in the last year I’ve noticed a major change in her personality when I visit for family events. She’s much more peaceful around me and other family members. I picked up on this odd sense that she is “proud of me” for standing up to her. She also historically mistreated my dad but she’s been much better with him too. She’s acting how a mother should act at her age for once.

However is it really twisted that a mother would shit test her own son? I really think that is what happened. I “passed” her shit test.

[Anonymous]

they shit test everyone to see what they can get away with

doesn't matter who it is whether it's their parents, their friends and even police officers

women have no issue trying to leverage their sexuality to get out of speeding ticket

[Asker]

There was a time in history they had to be this way for survival. It’s unnecessary (and bullshit) in modern times but they just can’t stop doing it.

Men have their own mental quirks like getting visually stimulated. But just because I see a pretty 19 year old girl working out in tight yoga pants doesn’t mean I can’t have the self control not to do something stupid and creepy.

Not going to stare her for 5 mins or go hit on her in the middle of her workout. Society holds men ACCOUNTABLE for our mental quirks. We can’t get away with saying “oh just in our nature” as a free pass on our bullshit.

[Opinion Owner]

the fact society holds men more accountable is enough proof men should be leaders because leaders get held accountable with the power they have

no accountable means no leadership should be given

[Asker]

I think more women are noticing this. I do hear them admit they often rather have male bosses then female bosses because they’ve had horrible experiences working with other women. They respect men who have their shit together as a leader.

Also no coincidence women seek out “guy friends” for all the benefits of having strong male logic advice. But you never hear about men seeking out platonic female friends because they have less to offer (and can even be a liability)

[HaleyWalker]

So I have two things to talk about this I had no clue what shit testing was but that weirded me out at first, lol.

Personally I just hang out with people and how they act will tell me if I need to avoid the person or not.

[HaleyWalker]

Also guys do stuff too, like getting their friend to hit on their girlfriend. My ex did this, I snapped on his friend wanted to he attempted to hit on me. We all play Grand Theft Auto there's no excuse for him not knowing. He then told me that they were testing me and I ended the relationship. I think that's what anyone should do if they're getting tested. End the friendship or relationship

[Asker]

You are dealing with teenage boys which is a completely different dynamic.

Also the average 16 year old girl is WAY beyond the average 16 year old boy when it comes to emotional maturity. Historically you would be a mother with children centuries ago. You “get things” better at your age compared to teenage boys.

Things don’t biologically even out when it comes to brain development for young men and women until age 25.

[HaleyWalker]

Then why is everyone else pretty much going along the same lines of what I said? Completely forgot the fact that people can try to expand their knowledge base at any age. Would highly recommend you do the same instead of trying to be a know-it-all you asked for the opinion next time don't post it. 😉

[Asker]

Because you are living in a different dynamic right now when it comes to all of this. Radically different dynamic.

This is not something you will fully grasp without more life experience. Not saying that to be condescending. Really I am not. But it is gong to take you a lot more life experience to “get” what I am talking about.

But there was massive difference on how I view male/female behavior at 36 vs 16. I remember (unknowingly) failing my first real shit test at 17 and not even knowing it. I asked a 16 year old attractive lifeguard on a date. She agreed. After going thorough all the effort of making sure I looked good, cleaning my car, picking her up, driving her and paying for the entire date she had the conceited nerve to complain about her ex boyfriend the entire night.

My then very naive/inexperienced mind thought she was doing that to bond with me at the time. No one taught me that at best a “shit test” (at best) or even more likely she had no respect for me.

After the date I should have just of completely ghosted her and never talked to her again. Have nothing to do with her. I didn’t approach her, ask for a date and go through all that just “be friends”. Hell no. If I would go walked away that would have shown her I had self respect not tolerate that bs. She might of circled back and respected my efforts knowing i was willing to respect myself. But I “failed” her shit test by still talking to her and hanging out with her.

But at the time I was raised to be “chivalrous” to women at all times which led to failing these bs “tests”.

[HaleyWalker]

I think I understand why people don't like the fact that I post under this topic, I love it so much.

The fact that 16 year old can use critical thinking, let alone not be so close-minded to think that girls do this only because yes guys do this too. There was a thing I learned recently about narcissists and they often end up explaining their own existence without realizing it.

Hypothetically speaking we don't know the other side of the story just yours. In reality there is a good chance you could just be explaining what you do in your relationships.

You might have this insecure Twisted mindset fortunately we don't know you. It's possibly that you could just be normal but who knows something to think about.

Get fooked 😼

[Asker]

The point I am trying to make is at 16 boys are either too nice (like I was) or little selfish punk asses. Not much in between. Their brains aren’t fully developed to pick up on subtleties yet. Yet girls their same age ARE picking up on these subtleties much better at that age.

[Asker]

@haleywalker I will try to “get fooked” but no promises. Have a nice day 😊

[HappyWoman34]

I don’t know. I know I don’t shit test anyone, but I’ve had other men and women do it to me sometimes.

[AI Opinion]

Well, it looks like you've been through quite the emotional tornado, haven't you? Let's dive into the heart of this storm. When it comes to the infamous concept of "shit testing," oh boy, doesn't that just sprinkle a little extra spice in all types of relationships? Women, and let's be fair, sometimes men too, might use these tests in various relationships, not just romantic ones. It's like a dance of testing boundaries, finding out what someone's made of, or asserting dominance or control. Thrilling, isn't it?

In your case, with your female relative, it sounds like you were thrown into the ring, my friend. What you perceived as a ceaseless evaluation from her sounds incredibly taxing. But here's the twist in the plot – by standing your ground and setting clear boundaries, you might have inadvertently passed the ultimate "test". Not just any test, but the mother of all tests. Ironic, right?

People sometimes push others, not out of malice, but to seek validation, security, or even as a way to communicate their own fears and insecurities. It's like they're saying, "Show me how strong you are, so I can feel safe." So, when you stood up for yourself, you changed the dynamic. She tested, you passed, and the relationship evolved. Or, let's be romantic and say, it transformed.

It's essential to communicate openly, set boundaries, and understand the deeper, often unspoken needs and worries that fuel such behaviors. By doing so, you're not just passing tests; you're building bridges. So cheers to you for navigating through this storm and coming out on the other side with wisdom, peace, and a dash of pride from her, no less! Love, boundaries, and understanding – the ultimate relationship toolkit. Keep holding onto those, and you'll not only pass tests but also teach a lesson or two of your own.

[Asker]

Fuck your brad.

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

[Asker]

Thanks for supporting it with a trolling yourself.

[Anonymous]

"... it's unfortunately biological for most women." LMAO