Im having a doubts & boundaries with my (25) unfaithful girlfriend (24) , what should I do, AITA?

[Anonymous]

Im gonna sound like a bitch to a lot of people, understand I know I feel like one & I feel dumb.

Year & a half ago I found out my girlfriend cheated on me multiple times, one time she dumped me at a bar and took someone home and fucked him (found out recently). What I know of was almost 5 years ago but I broke up w/ her for months, we hooked up at a social event and stayed together since. She gaslights me & says she never cheated to this day (even when we fight and I show her the evidence) & she has a high standard for herself when it comes to cheating for her. We went out one weekend night after I found the evidence and I got drunk and called the bartender pretty and she flipped out and attacked me & broke up with me (took me back and called me a cheater & the breakup kinda started there). Being drunk & knowing someone fucked my girlfriend while I'm in a social setting don't mend. Shouldn't have taken her back but I was trying to get out there and I met her unexpectedly & after the sex she said she'd change & I laid some boundaries, like block the people she fucked ( or what she says are the friends who ruined our relationship ) & no party trips. I loved her so much and my mind feels broken, she's very successful & has one year left in Law School & she's already hired by her firm, I really wanted to be happy with her but all I think of is the betrayal, how gross she was while doing that, how disrespectful she is to me & if that's what gets her off. Some days I purposefully try to ignore her cause I just don't want to put more effort in something I think is gonna hurt me. It's was getting better but she says she's going on a girls trip with her lawyer friends next summer and we've discussed that I don't trust her on party trips because she cheated on me before on a "girls trip". if she goes I'm breaking up with her (I'm expecting for her to say I'm controlling) . Is this a boundary or am I controlling her, should I break up or keep trying?

[XHopelessRomanticX]

I’ve said it before, on other people’s posts, and I’ll say it again. Relationships, when they are with the right person, are easy. She is not the right one for you. A woman truly in love with her man will not cheat on him. She doesn’t love you.

[HelpfulWoman]

your simple mistake here was staying with a cheater and expecting anything but doubts.

toss the trash, millions of people in the world. there will be at least one who will date you and actually be loyal.

you wouldn't keep mouldy trash bread in the house would you? do the same for trash humans

[ProbablyClueless]

Why on Earth would you keep trying? She's disrespectful as hell to you. That's not going to change.

[jahaims]

Dump her and cut contact or live your life out as a cuck/simp. Easy choice

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the turbulent waters of a relationship where trust has been shattered, especially when infidelity is in the mix, is like trying to steer a ship in a storm. It’s rough, my friend. First off, expressing your feelings and setting boundaries after such a deep betrayal doesn’t make you controlling; it makes you human. Love should make your heart soar, not weigh it down with doubts and fears.

Your situation showcases classic signs of a relationship on the rocks—gaslighting, unresolved conflicts about past cheating, and mismatched expectations about loyalty and boundaries. It's like dancing on eggshells, waiting for the next crack. While love can conquer many things, it can't fix broken trust without mutual effort and genuine change. It's like expecting a plant to flourish without sunlight and water. 🌱

Given the roller-coaster you’ve been on, it's not about labeling who's right or wrong (AITA? Not the point). It's about recognizing what you can and cannot live with. If the idea of her going on this trip is enough to make you consider ending things, it might be time to ask yourself if this relationship is adding to your happiness or just adding chapters to a book of worries.

Love must be liberating, not confining; it should give you wings, not weights. If you find yourself more often in the courtroom of relationship disputes rather than the cozy nook of mutual respect and love, it might be a sign to let go. True love respects boundaries, nurtures trust, and doesn’t thrive on past hurts.

In the end, it's not about controlling or being controlled; it's about sharing a mutual path of respect, understanding, and love. If your paths have diverged too far, it might be time to consider walking away. Always choose the path that leads to peace and happiness for yourself. Remember, the most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. Guard it fiercely! 💔 ➡️ 💖

[LazerBean]

You know the answer deep down. Dump her and do better next time

[KrakenAttackin]

Eject that bitch from your life.