I’m Having trouble with trusting my girlfriend of 3 years, am I overthinking it?

[Anonymous]

we’ve never talked about boundaries although I did try to bring it up. The trusting issue started about a year ago in March there was a new guy working with us and I didn’t like how flirty she was with him (always laughing, having conversations with him that didn’t happen with me etc) and It still happens even with my friends if they say something, she agrees with them but if i say anything remotely similar she acts completely different, i had talked to her about this but it seems it was for nothing, for the guy at work i talked to her and she said it won’t happen again, but it did a 2nd time and again i talked to her about it, happened a 3rd time and we had a big a fight over it as we were at a work party in the summer on a boat, she was next to me but constantly looking at this other guy and mentioning him every 5 minutes and i got pissed drunk because I was hurt as hell, and ignored it for the rest of trip, we came back to shore and he slapped her ass ‘jokingly’ as we got off the boat, and I just left, she came after me and I said ‘we were done’ I don’t care and she stormed off saying it’s not true, anyways we had a big fight and i said if she completely stopped the flirting in its tracks ie not entertain the flirting and make it clear that you’re not interested and she did, now we are different jobs and she’s talking about work parties happening every 4th night at an Igaming company and I don’t know how i feel about her going everytime, getting drunk, when in her team it’s 5 guys and her, and i honestly don’t know how to talk to her about it.
On top of it, she never calls me, i call her everyday, it feels as if i’m making all the effort but I get nothing back and to be honest were a year away from having our house built and it feels like it’s a huge mistake that i’m making.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Let me try putting a few things into perspective before i give you any advice.
The way she is with other guys is a front. She wants to be liked that is all for show.. YOU are the guy who gets to see the real her because she doesn't have to put on any airs and graces.. with you she is just being herself.
That said, here we go with the advice.
How do you know she wouldn't call you every day? You are always calling her. You are never giving her the chance to know what it feels like to have to run after you for a change because you are always there.. In future don't be at her beck and call all the time.
I don't think you're making a mistake and I don't think you should look at every little thing she does.
Give her room to breathe man, you are suffocating her. I'm telling you that as man to man advice, not to be nasty.
I'll give you an example what happens when you let your g/f be herself.. K? Guys will flirt with her, she might even enjoy the attention, but having the freedom to choose who she wants to be with? I guarantee she will choose you every time, but if you pull her up on petty things (I know I know.. to you they are anything BUT petty, but in her eyes they are) you'll push her away.
You're buying a home together, that is a real commitment. From both of you. Let her be HER man, and I promise you, you'll be really happy together.

[Asker]

I don’t call her every day, only when I finish work late which is maybe once or twice a week, we maybe spend 10 hours a week together.
But yeah you’re probably right.

[Honesttguy]

You have Will Smith type of situation there buddy and its not going great for him so far, she cheated on him and embrassases him publicly about it.

Dont shy away from confrontation, always confront her about anything you want, its your role as men to have situation in control, if your not then she can run wild around.

So far it seems you are guy who provides security for her while she looks for wild fuk woth other guys. Thats how it looks from outside bro its not good.

[boobliker]

talk to her about it she is the only one who can help you!

[Iron_Man]

think long and hard about what you’re going to do and then stick with your decision

[Anonymous]

I assume you had to hit on her and ask her out

[Anonymous]

Nope. Trust no one.