Search Results: good date ideas

So I have dated very few people and only really thought of it after knowing them a long time ‘& only by the time I was already falling in love or already IN love, tho still was not ready for a relationship and even ambivalent about just dating. I have never ever dated to experience & learn better how to date- dating was only after thought to my interest in a specific person.

it occurred to me that this can be very problematic. If you very rarely like anyone I think you can have a false- positive impression of their character. Just bc I’m so very rarely interested in someone this does not mean that anyone I AM interested in os necessarily good for me as a person/ partner or is even a good person at all.

And ultimately in my opinion experience is crucial. Every train wreck I’ve encountered on romantic scenarios was not due to anyone being evil but bc I had no clue WTF I was doing bc I was not used to caring about someone that I was also “into”. And I was extremely uncomfortable dealing with certain inevitable vulnerability etc plus brain freeze 😂

Anyhow , I think in interest of self development & interpersonal capability , I should consider dating as part of regular life & not a rare artifact that maybe I’ll encounter in a lifetime.

Now, when I say date I mean meeting you getting acquainted. I do not mean hook ups or vetting people for whatever agenda. Just getting to know people in a romantic contexts.

Of course I’ll be upfront so no one’s tine will be wasted if they are expecting sex or something heavily physical quickly. I’m Audi not interested in anyone paying for anything so no one is getting explored with no return.

Would it bother you to be asked out by someone who wasn’t blown away by you but was open to getting to know you?

1 No. I just find “liking” anyone in any kind of a way other than friendship to be

Extremely stressful. I’m not good at it. it’s probably a terrible idea for us to do anything bc we did actually get along before. ALSO I’m not being coy. 🤨 I know often if someone says something negative it’s taken as coy and I’m being serious I honestly dk if this is a good idea. I’m also serious when I say I move SLOW and I don’t mean sex I just mean anything as far as getting to know each other….

☝🏼 …But that does bring me to my other concern before you interrupted me…

All I know about sex is I’m not ready for it and as far as WHEN I will be or if I will EVER be I have NO idea…

…So if that’s the ride you’re looking for you should exchange your ticket 🎫 and hop on another train 🚂—I mean that with all due respect.

I know sex is a big deal to most people and I don’t judge I just really dk if it’s gonna matter to me.

(So he def looked more surprised here -& maybe concerned not sure-than he did when I said “it takes me a long time to talk” & he kind of paused…then asked)

2 Sooo is that like you HATE it orrrr you just never found out? 👀

1 🤔 Fair question I suppose but it doesn’t really impact the fact I’m not in any rush. Anyhow the latter.

(He looked a bit more relaxed which honestly bothered me but on the other hand, I am the one who brought it up so I can’t fault him for reacting and we are not in a Disney cartoon so I can’t expect him to not care about sex)

(Getting over my discomfort bc it was all fair his reaction, but I guess I did not know what to say)

1 I do know I do not want to date someone who’s is having sex with other people 🤢

(He looked kind of feeling accused)

1. Oh lol no ! I don’t necessarily think that’s what you’re saying. I’m only raising it bc I USED to think it was a GOOD solution a perfect one. Like I can date whomever and never have to worry about sex! And now I don’t think it’s such a good idea.👀

CONTINUED*

I’m not really sure how to put this, but sone of you know I had ashes secersl questions about how you might react if someone you were seeing told you they plan to marry, you told them you do not, and they wanted to continue dating regardless. I found this odd and suspicious bc if you already know what you want and you know it’s not what the other person wants, well you either think they are not being serious or you are not being serious. That’s how I see it tho I know there’s varied opinions.

this situation confused me not just bc he said he def wants marriage but the whole way he spoke about his future plans he is not flaky and he seems kind of traditional so I don’t understand how he’s ok with a situation that doesn’t line up with his plans or values.

he wants to finish his phd and hopefully get married before his grandparents die (he’s not going to just marry anyone but he’s hoping the timing works out bc it will mean so much to them and they mean so much to him. I mean no doubt it’s super sweet it’s just…) he wants to go beck to Ukraine to get narrated have the celebration there & locate work in Europe bc he expects there will be few job opportunities in Ukraine itself and wants to be as close as possible to his family. We both have family from Ukraine but his is immediate family, mine is several generations down, so while I am Ukrainian so I’m not Ukrainian in the same way that he is.

now he’s telling me all this on basically the first time we were in a sort of date (went to the park before I went to work) we have been friendly for two years but I only asked him out a few weeks ago and bc of scheduling conflict it took us a while to get it together.

I did tell him I do not plan to marry for various reasons, he was quite in disbelief at that, also that I’m not sure what my ten year plan is. At the same time, he was very eager to see me again and as of now we will be going in a date next week. But I’m not sure it’s a good idea.

I don’t think he does based off something that happened today, but I definitely have strong feelings for him.

This is a long story so buckle in.

I’ve been friends with this guy who’s almost 10 years older than me since I was 19. He went to back to college, and that’s how we met. We’ve always just been friends and never crossed any lines with each other and are part of the same group. He graduated 3 years ago and moved back to our hometown (turned out we’re from the same city), but we’ve stayed in touch and I see him almost every time I visit.

Last year we were hanging out and the topic eventually went to dating (not each other just in general). I described my perfect guy and he said something like, “oh like how we do?” And that’s the moment the light bulb clicked in my head. Ever since then I’ve been developing feelings for him. I felt like he wasn’t returning my feelings, so I backed off to try and readjust my emotions.

A couple months ago, he called me out the blue and we’ve been texting/calling/watching shows through zoom together practically every day the last few weeks. My feelings for him are back and are definitely getting stronger. I’m not sure how he feels. It’s like he’s hot and he’s cold, he’s definitely sending mixed signals. He’s asked me what my plans for grad school are, wanted to know if I’d move out of state to go to the same school as him, stays on the phone with me while I share my location while in traffic, etc. In a show we watched recently, they were talking about date ideas and he kept telling me he wanted to take me to those places, so I started to feel like he might feel the same as me. Today I finally had enough of wondering and texted him that I’m wanting his attention more and more, and he deflected it and made a joke.

When we met 8 years ago, I was just a kid and he was pushing 30. I’m worried he still thinks of me as a kid and doesn’t see me as the woman I’ve grown into.

Is he just a good friend? Does he want more? What do I do?