Do you think it’s a good idea to go on a lot of casual dates just to get a feel for it , even if I don’t feel much for whomever I ask out?

Question

So I have dated very few people and only really thought of it after knowing them a long time ‘& only by the time I was already falling in love or already IN love, tho still was not ready for a relationship and even ambivalent about just dating. I have never ever dated to experience & learn better how to date- dating was only after thought to my interest in a specific person.

it occurred to me that this can be very problematic. If you very rarely like anyone I think you can have a false- positive impression of their character. Just bc I’m so very rarely interested in someone this does not mean that anyone I AM interested in os necessarily good for me as a person/ partner or is even a good person at all.

And ultimately in my opinion experience is crucial. Every train wreck I’ve encountered on romantic scenarios was not due to anyone being evil but bc I had no clue WTF I was doing bc I was not used to caring about someone that I was also “into”. And I was extremely uncomfortable dealing with certain inevitable vulnerability etc plus brain freeze 😂

Anyhow , I think in interest of self development & interpersonal capability , I should consider dating as part of regular life & not a rare artifact that maybe I’ll encounter in a lifetime.

Now, when I say date I mean meeting you getting acquainted. I do not mean hook ups or vetting people for whatever agenda. Just getting to know people in a romantic contexts.

Of course I’ll be upfront so no one’s tine will be wasted if they are expecting sex or something heavily physical quickly. I’m Audi not interested in anyone paying for anything so no one is getting explored with no return.

Would it bother you to be asked out by someone who wasn’t blown away by you but was open to getting to know you?

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

Sure! There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. As long as you're upfront about it, so no one's feelings get hurt.

I can say from personal experience that I have hung out with a lot of people just casually on a friendly basis, and it was always a good experience. We had fun times and made happy memories. Usually as a group, but sometimes as a trio as occasionally one on one. Completely platonic. Males and females. (I didn't really see the need to discriminate based on gender.). But some of the girls I actually noticed myself becoming attracted to. So of course that makes things awkward, as it always does (naturally). In those cases I would just distance myself from those individuals. Or if I was mentally strong enough I would just carry on and pretend that there was nothing there.

But, at the end of the day, they were all good experiences, and I am happy to have known the people that I have known.

Of course, what I did would not be classified as "dates.". So that is the difference. But I think the general principle still applies.

Part2603 · Accepted Answer

Good idea.

If it were two years ago. LOL

I do think that sort of exploratory attitude can be good for some people that don't exactly know what they want, that are sort of confused by the rituals and just want to get started meeting the opposite sex.

But I don't think you're confused about what you want. AT ALL.

You're just in denial.

To be in your position and to want to deliberately want to destroy your naivete I think is a sin. Yeah, it kind of sucks to be this retarded but it's also kinda cute and sweet the way you recognize that "dating" is a rare artifact.

Honey, EVERYBODY gets their heart broken. It's gonna happen. The only thing you can do is be brave and honest about who you are so that way it's at least meaningful.

xJayleenx · Accepted Answer

I don’t think so because some of them would feel like you’re leading them on

Bethany22 · Accepted Answer

A, because I want the person to at least initially think quite highly of me

Guy13 · Answer

Yes of course it is good to practice just like a job interview.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i think you need a group of friends to go out with instead of opting to narrow them down this way. i don't think i'm explaining myself correctly. it doesn't seem like you want anything serious, so don't go on dates at all. hang out in a group instead, or have boundaries with the people you are interested in as friends

spartan55 · Answer

Think of it like this: socializing casually with friends is like a short walk. Dating is like a two hour blast at the gym. More going on, etc

Summeroflove · Answer

You know. As long as you don’t string someone along who you’re not that into.

I do think you should date with the intentions of being more serious and saving yourself until marriage.

But yeah. You date to see who you’re compatible with and if it makes you feel better to date s bit. Then go ahead and do that.

TallAnon · Answer

As long as you don't waste another's time.
It's kinda rude to get someone's hopes up.

If you have to give someone a disclaimer explaining all the details before a date, that's a red flag in my opinion.

RealMarek · Answer

The purpose of dating is to see if there could be mutual attraction and a good match with someone. There is no problem giving someone a chance or just meet for the sake of meeting even when you’re not all that interested initially. Just don’t string the other person along for too long if you don’t see potential with them after two or three dates.

loveslongnails · Answer

I don't really understand why you would want to spend time with someone you initially feel "neutral" about, in the hopes that you might develop excitement for the person, when you can just wait till you DO feel excited about getting to know someone! LOL

Also, I get this feeling that you're overthinking the whole process a bit... just a bit!

Iron_Man · Answer

That’s probably not a good idea for you they’re going to want to score every time

TakingitEasy15243 · Answer

I casually date all the time. Absolute nothing wrong with it, it's good practice. It's just about having fun and building connections

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yup good idea to date casually, but I would not want to be ashes out by someone who wasn’t excited by me.

Philyouup · Answer

i used to say that i would date as many people as i could, to meet other ans to enjoy the company. in hope I would meet somebody that would touch my heart. i’m still looking for that kind heart

MysticDevice · Answer

I don't think I could do casual dating. But then again I never really tried. I suppose its not the worst way to get a feel for it. I can think of worse ways.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

No cuz usely if no intrest in a person makes for bad dates cuz very few people can turn it around

humanearth · Answer

I don't know, everyone is different

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Go for people you find attractive or interesting enough.

MountAverage · Answer

As long as you're enjoying yourself, sure why not.

Anonymous · Answer

If this was most women asking this question @vivant I would say no. But in your case I think you should.

AmeerX · Answer

Say no to casual dates

Jennz6 · Answer

I don’t really know

Anonymous · Answer

yes and free food

Do you think it’s a good idea to go on a lot of casual dates just to get a feel for it , even if I don’t feel much for whomever I ask out?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you think it’s a good idea to go on a lot of casual dates just to get a feel for it , even if I don’t feel much for whomever I ask out?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.