Is casual dating bad or good for you?

[Alyssa_11]

The argument goes both ways I guess.

Some say it’s emotionally distressing and a waste of time, and what’s mean to come for you will eventually come.

Others say it’s a lot of fun to meet new people and it also equips you with experience so you can choose a partner better.

What do you think?

Personally I’m a bit of both. I like meeting new people and having fun but every guy I’ve met through casual dating starts harassing me later when I say I’m not interested. The harassment triggers my anxiety.

[Anonymous]

I had a lot of great experiences from casual dating.. good moments and enjoyed the time I spend in them.
As long as I don't have romantic feelings that is the way to go for me. As soon as I get/have any feelings for a man I get a lot of negative affects as well. Like insecurity, overthinking, missing way too much.
Or if a man starts talking about the future it gets me all excited, and more often than not I experienced it being bullshit and I get dissappointed/sad/feel bad about myself and so on. With the casual I know more of what it is, and what it is not. Living in the moment.
Not to say it is easy to find a man the casual relation can work with for me.. if it was I'd be in one now :D

[Aerissa_Jade]

Sad thing is most guys on here will say they do not harass women. I believe them too, no reason to doubt them. I suppose no one is going to actually admit they do that though right?

I say its been fun to meet new people, I don't go into it expecting much. Having low expectations means anything good, is a big plus but it turns out bad, then no feeling depressed or sad.

I wasn't always that way, I would go into it with high expectations and often let down.

At least now I'm out of the dating game, so hoping to just do dates over and over with my man.

[Now_Here]

I don't see any appeal of it. Getting to know people is fine by me, but dating them casually makes me feel like I'm taking something lightly which should rather be serious. Takes away the worth of serious relationships and it may add to bitter experiences, like yours and many others which may prevent you from getting attached to the right one efficiently.
Moreover it's time consuming, you don't know what the other party is really upto and it can get hard keeping a check on how you feel about them.

[skytatoe]

Hmmm what do you mean by casual dating?

[Alyssa_11]

Going on a lot of dates with no expectations. Mostly meeting people off dating apps

[skytatoe]

Ok, well in that case.

Problem with dating apps is theyre 'dating apps' guys don't go on there to 'make friends' if they write that in their profile they're full of shit LOL. They go there to hook up or find a partner. So in that sense there already are expectations, which is why you're getting harassed all the time after the nice date you had.

But yeah, if you do it online on an app that isn't meant for dating, I think you'd get better results. You could meet people who could actually talk to you without getting all needy and shit. Otherwise I'd recommend just meeting people offline lol, in the real world. It's amazing, it's really great fun. And then it's truly zero expectations, cause they didn't even bargain on meeting you.

That aside, I think casual dating actually gives you no real idea of what you want or don't want because you have just a tiny glimpse of who these people really are. You can't know anyone in a day, you can only know what they tell you and show you. I think it's better to get to know people better, and then figure out what traits you find attractive and not from that. But otherwise, yeah its super fun to meet new people.

[Alyssa_11]

I totally agree with you. Though I feel like a lot of people are saying dating has shifted online nowadays. It’s not the same as it used to be

[skytatoe]

I dunno, a lot of people I know really dislike online dating. I personally wouldn't even bother with dating apps, complete waste of time.

[Alyssa_11]

It’s weird I don’t like it too. Someone judging you off a photo :/

[skytatoe]

Yeah a photo is particularly condemning too because you're not moving. You're stuck in that position, they can't hear your voice, your tone, see your eyes etc.. all those details that tell us so much about the people we meet.
The problem is with online dating, its way too easy to come across as way better than you actually are, so it's just chock full of really 'meh' potential dating partners. Its rigged to suck lol. I have always had a way easier time talking to very attractive women offline compared to really so-so equivalents online.
For women they get literally flooded with shitty messages from so-so dudes with nothing interesting to say so its very easy for them to completely lose enthusiasm for anyone after the 50 millionth message. Doesn't help anyone.

[Alyssa_11]

Honestly, as a woman I can totally vouch for that.

[lilyanony1]

Waste of damn time. Casual dating to me means dating without sex.
Others don't think if it that way.
So since casual dating means dating a number of different people I don't see why I should be sleeping with them... Do you?

Also if I wanted sex and all that comes with it I'd find a romantic partner, one I trust abd hopefully will be working with them to fall in love and develop a life.


This modern concept of casual is effectively a casual lifestyle that doesn't meet my criteria.

Think about it. You have to make a commitment to your landlord by giving them a deposit. The terms are you stay in the property treat it well and pay for it until the term is up.
You can't have random people live in it without permission or pets. And if they let you you have to take full responsibility for any damage they may cause.
These day's people can barely manage that. So why would I casually date a person barely capable of doing that?

[Phoenix-gb]

It's fun for those who are successful at it, for those who's only experience of even casual dating is rejection, it is soul crushing and has a tendency to lead to depression and in extreme cases suicidal ideation (or indeed action), especially in men.

[Alyssa_11]

Oh no

[Phoenix-gb]

It is what it is, people aren't going to date those they aren't into, but that means there are those that will loose out as a result.

[Alyssa_11]

It goes both ways. I have beautiful friends who have been rejected through online dating and it really damages their self esteem (only reason it hasn't happened to me is cause I don't really do online dating). But they're stunning girls. To each their own. Sadly this is the reality of the dating scene nowadays... very superficial...

[honeynut-scenarios]

I think it’s good for you as long as you listen, and keep your expectations low. I sometimes have a hard time with wanting something, and wanting it right in the moment. I tend to move fast in my relationships, but if you avoid that, you can really learn a lot about what kind of things you want and can’t tolerate in a lasting relationship.

[DizzyDesii]

I think its bad to waste time. Dating casually is exactly that in my opinion. I date in hopes i come across the one meant for me to marry. I dont date just to fill a temporary spot. If i want to have “fun” then i can simply get to know people without dating them. But i would only get sexual with whoever im in a longterm relationship with

[The1Girl]

As long as you aren't going in to it expecting too much, I think casual dating can be harmless and fun. And you never know what could happen! I just think people should enjoy their lives and not take things too seriously, like hoping for marriage before even meeting the person.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

I’m good at it but it’s not fulfilling happiness for me. I’ve done the hook ups and the fling situations , it was starting to get stale for me personally. I enjoy relationships and developing time with someone opposed to waking up to someone whose name you don’t know

[Kkbaby]

Oh it’s insanely mentally/physically exhausting. I think people should fall in love naturally and at the right time for them. Just dating around for sport only breeds shallow connections with other people. Work on yourself, better the person you already are, and put yourself out there in situations where it could be more likely to meet someone you’d form a deep connection with.

[VanillaSalt]

I hate how we use the word love like it’s an expectation of a relationship. Love is a byproduct of a successful relationship not the cause…

[Alyssa_11]

The issue is I don’t fall in love with people around me. It’s hard to find what I’m looking for in a person

[cookiecrusher]

Studies have shown that pair bonding ability is greatly reduced after only 3 sexual partners for women and somewhere around 12 for men.

So depending on someones idea of casual dating it can be pretty damaging to their longterm outlooks/success.

I have nothing against getting to know a person and hanging out. However i will only date, makeout or anything such with only people i plan to be in a longterm relationship.

Currently married for 11 years now.

[Kaamraj]

Casual dating is a pleasant experience for nearly all women, and about 10% of men. For the average and even above average man, who is not getting any options, it's nothing.

[Alyssa_11]

Not always. Women get rejected too

[Kaamraj]

Yes women get rejected, but by the same small group of guys who they are all mostly after. The average man gets rejected by the average woman regularly.

[Subarugirl]

Well it depends on weather it effects you in a positive or negative way. From what you’ve stated, it’s not the dating that is bad or that gives you anxiety, it’s the men harassing you. There is a big difference.

[Alyssa_11]

Yes absolutely. I’m an extrovert and I love meeting new people and talking basically. But the harassment that comes right after is very scary sometimes.

[RealMarek]

I think it’s healthy during one’s teens, but in the 20s I believe deliberately dating with the goal of finding a spouse is more effective and less apt to waste time.

[Alyssa_11]

Thank you

[RealMarek]

You’re welcome, as always.

[yucel_eden]

Depends on what you want from it.


I like it for sex…but sometimes I want something more. If you want more don’t casually date and don’t date people that want to casually date.


As long as you open there’s no black and white answer

[dustybiker]

Wasn’t worth my time or worth wasting anyone else's. I waited till what I needed crossed my path.

[Alyssa_11]

So you just prefer waiting until you cross path with someone you like through every day life? Did that work for you?

[dustybiker]

My case is unique though. It did for me as I was more into horses and sport for the longest time. Also surrounded by a large group of very protective, all male, childhood best friends. Waiting could have backfired completely. But each relationship had a very “meant to be” and easy going feel to them.

[Avt9560]

I almost never dated haha so don't take my word but I guess it can be good or bad based on what you expect, what you look for, and what type of guy you date. In your case you should change the type of guy you date😊

[Gingerguy33]

I don’t casually date only serious relationships I get why people would casually date but to me it’s not worth it putting time and energy into someone who’s not in it for the long term

[Heartache0405]

Bad. I don’t date at all. Mostly because the objective of dating is to get to know someone enough to have a relationship with them and I don’t seek relationships at all

[mobiusforniner]

Its fine if you want to make friends or broaden your social circle but often times the opposite party is hoping for something more. So it gets awkward

[ArrowheadSW]

I can't imagine why it would be bad. It is fun and good experience to get out there and meet people, in my opinion.

[silkjames]

It's fun until it gets clingy lol but I understand some peeps get a little crazy then it's not fun nomore everyone trys to find the one it's easy said than done but I'm picky lol!

[FilmGuy93]

It's okay, I guess. I sort of envisioned having more stable casual relationships than I've had, but women tend not to think of casual dating as a longer sort of thing.