Search Results: feelings for the person you once loved

I am 25 and never had a girlfriend. I have had sex only once, back in 2015 (5 years ago). She was 16; I was 20. Both virgins. She did not want a relationship with me and she was really just a stranger as we only met one time in person.

I cannot get over a woman's romantic past, whether that be previous boyfriends or even male best friends from her youth she had feelings for. It is the hypothetical situation that exists to where she could reunite with someone from her youth later in life and it be a sweeter outcome. In addition, I don't want a womam to be my first love if I am not hers.

by the way, this has nothing to do with her sexual past at all. It has everything to do with who she shared her heart with at one point in her life.

I went out with this girl a few months ago. The first three dates were amazing. But then she disappeared. We'd text once in a while but that was it
It wasn't until I wished her a merry Christmas that she started consistently talking to me. We went out the next day, and she said things got dark. After our last date, things got bad at home. She started doing bad drugs and drinking a lot. She got wrapped up with a guy who treated her bad and a bunch of other stuff.
She had gotten sober and moved home the week before we started talking. We had a wonderful time, and she told me it meant so much that I checked on her and I actually care about her. We had sex, and we talked afterwards. She wanted to get her life straight, and I'm something that's stable in her life. I told her I wanted to be with her and to make her happy.
Over the next 5 days, she cancelled 2 dates. Thinking I wasn't going to see her again, I texted her that I wanted to be there for her. I was falling in love with her, and I think she needs someone who treats her like I did. Whether it was with me or not.
She said she wanted to get together to talk. But cancelled again.
She said she was gonna be too busy with work to make our schedules meet. She said I'm a great person, and I'd make someone so happy. But it couldn't be with her. She said she needed to work on herself. She wanted to be single and get her life together. She said maybe we can try again when that time comes.
I apologized for dumping my feelings on her. And said I hope we get another chance. She said she just needs to find who she is.
I don't understand why she didn't tell me sooner. Was she debating letting me go? Was she just trying to avoid it? I'm heartbroken and confused.