Search Results: losing a friend

I fell in love with her instantly but I never had the courage to make a move so we went to friends. I could never risk losing her from my life because I think she is the most amazing woman, and she inspires me to be better. I left hints so she knows I have feelings for her without telling her directly. We've talked about us and she has suggested a few times that we could not be together. But then she would confuse me by doing something incredibly caring or romantic. I am in a loop of being in the friendzone and trying to accept it, followed by an act which gave me hope of more, to her suggesting we would never work, and back to the friendzone.

We've supported each other so much. She has helped me develop personally, and also deal with the death of someone close to me. And in turn, she has had a tough year personally and professionally so I have supported her and now she's doing better

For the past year, we have had a long call at least once a week. We have been available for each other always. Last week, I called her and for the first time, she never answered or called/text back. We sent each other a couple of texts this week, but I initiated them all. I called her today to no answer, but she text later to just say she was with her friends. I asked her to call me when she was done, but she hasn't.

I feel like she has progressively become more distant from me for a while now. We used to talk all day, every day. Now I'm lucky if she sends me a text 1st.

I've done my best to accept we will never be more. I have tried to do what a friend does; support, care, and be there for her unconditionally.
With her becoming more distant, is it time for me to stop trying, and let her go? Should I not contact her again until she reaches out to me first?
It's tough, she is the first woman I have ever felt love for, despite us never being together. I'm sure she has had feelings for me too but she has been unwilling to compromise on her perfect image of a partner.

Back many years ago when I was 20, I was going in and out of psych hospitals and suicidal because I couldn't find a virgin to lose my virginity to.

One day, I met a girl on a dating app and really hit it off. She was 16 and the daughter of a paramedic. I was an EMT at the time and young myself. We were only 4 years apart in age.

Fast forwarding, we talked for a long time and we agreed to meet. I got us a hotel room and I drove 8 hours from my state to hers. We went on a date then went to the hotel and we ended up losing our virginities to each other.

After our weekend fling, she told me she did not want a relationship with me. I was heartbroken. We continued to talk for 2 weeks until one day I made her made her angry and she said she never wanted to see me again.

I was in college and 8 months later, I decided to find where she lived and drove up there again with a friend to ask her out again and apologized. Her dad answered the door and called the cops. I went back to my hotel and the police knock on the door and draw guns on me like a fugitive. I was arrested for stalking and I was later placed in shackles and transported to the county jail.