Girls, I'm just confused, please help?

[Anonymous]

So the story is that I had a friend (long distance) for almost like 2 years. In those 2 years, we both got feelings for each other and also confessed them, but somewhere in between we knew that it wouldn't work ( because of different nations, religions, and all) and because it was becoming hard for us to be friends, we both mutually decided to break the friendship and go separate ways. It was pretty hard for both of us, but we thought we had to. Today, when I saw her art Instagram account, I saw a post that was made a day ago about losing a best friend. After seeing that, I wanted to hug her and tell her that I wouldn't leave her side, but I was also afraid that our feelings would again come in between us and ruin our friendship like before. What should I do?

Updates

1 y

also, we both are college students...

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it's best just to let people work through their emotions without interfering. Other times it's best to try working through your differences and finding mutual ground.
I don't have much information to go on here but honestly it seems like you care about this person very much. In the long run, where you live or what you believe is fluid. People change throughout life and you shouldn't have to feel like you cannot be friends with someone simply because you share differences. Sometimes the best friendships or relationships are those that stem from appreciating each others' differences. I think you should reach out and try to work through whatever issues you might have had in the past.
I know a lot of people feel pressured to follow what their family/friends/culture tells them to but you are in the drivers seat of your own life. Why should you have to cut someone out of your life who means so much to you and might be really good for you just because of something so (dare I say) trivial?

[SueShe]

You can still send her your feelings and tell her that you are standing by her side during this difficult times.

But make sure you also let her know that there will be no future between both of you.

You can state something like

"I am with you with all my heart during these difficult times. Let the past rest in peace and accept my feelings of sorrow as a token of appreciation for all that we shared in the past. I am here for you if you need to talk but in view of our past differences, I will leave it to this gesture of friendship".

That way, you are not committing to anything yet you give her the support of an old friend.

[Asker]

firstly i guess you misunderstood that who got the feeling, we both got the feeling for each other.

[Aerissa_Jade]

You don't have to give up a friendship, just agree that it will only be friends and nothing more. Think of it more like being a pen pal and keeping in touch, talking, chatting, etc... and staying friends and moving on with life.

A relationship may not work but you two both could be friends only if you wanted to.

[Asker]

firstly i guess you misunderstood that who got the feeling, we both got the feeling for each other, and talking about keeping in touch, talking, chatting... we were best friends, we use to share each and every detail of our life's and coming back with "just pen pal" won't be weird for her?

[Aerissa_Jade]

One can be friends even if you have feelings, the thing is make sure you date others and she does (if she can) don't try to have a romantic relationship. Instead try to be friends, you can share things without thinking that way.

I've done it many times, I have friends, all over the place and yes some do get feelings for me, or I them but just stay friends and make that part clear.

[Anonymous]

You are overthinking far too much, and you sound like you want to be possessive, which is an ugly trait to have.