I have been crying for days and I feel like I'm losing my mind over this guy and I can't go on a day without crying. We've been dating for 9 months and although we weren't exclusive, we were loyal to each other for that time period. I have never loved anyone as much as I did him. We started dating just a few months after he and his ex broke up I believed that he was not going to use me as a rebound because I felt like he really loved me like his feelings were genuine. My relationship with him had its ups and downs, we fought at one point but I did not expect that that was enough for him to lose all his feelings for me and just drop me like I meant nothing. Now I feel like he's made up with his ex and now he just wants to be friends. I told him that it's not easy for me to just be friends with him since I'm still attached to him and it's not easy for me to get over him. I feel so used. I tried to go no contact but I keep breaking it and messaging him about how this entire thing hurt me because it's like he doesn't care. It's like he doesn't care if I got hurt. I gave him every ounce of myself, all the attention, all the time, and love for it to end up with him not wanting me anymore and for him to be okay with us not talking, for him to lose me. I don't know how to get over him. I feel so hurt and it's consuming me every day and him not caring makes it 10x worse. I want to get over him for my sake because I feel miserable very single day I don't know how to keep no contact I keep going back to him.
Your reaction is exactly the opposite of what you should do. You are trying to hold onto somebody that does not care and you find all kinds of excuses to do so. You are giving him everything rather than to distance yourself once and for all.
Get rid of all the memorabilia and trinkets that remind you of him. Your relationship is over and out but you don't want to accept that fact. What are you hoping? That he comes back and apologizes? Even if he decided to come back, you should have enough backbone to not accept him because you were cheated on, you were misused and abused emotionally.
The only way for you to go is forward and don't look back. What is past is gone. No need to hang onto an illusion. You have to be strong mentally and divert your mind with something constructive rather than to reminisce and think everything will be all right. It will not.
Show him that you have character and don't let him enjoy that he hurt you emotionally. Good luck.