How to let go of someone you have feelings for when they're still part of your life?

Question

ConspiracyTheorist · Accepted Answer

I don't even know myself because I've left my wife several times now and we are still together , that's what is hard I guess is that we have kids and she quit leaving me when I quit calling her and trying to get her back and now I have been the one to leave and the first like over a hundred messages that when from "where do you want your stuff?" And then "well I got some of your stuff packed for you" after I specifically asked her not to touch my shit and then came "well your son wants to know if your coming home tonight?" then your son this and blah blah blah,... and angry ones in between, the next day she cried and said sorry so I stayed, the 2nd time I came back for something and she was crying so much and I asked "you want me to stay out of pity for you?" And she said yeah so I did, 3rd time which is recently and about 3 weeks ago I called it quits again and we both decided it wouldn't work and she said go to her dad's but she never left so we ended up doing it and then doing it some more and here I am still with this broad that lies and steals my money and starts fights and tries to convince me that I start them, she always texting and keeping it hidden and carries 2 phones around with her and goddamn I hate this bitch but I love her also because we been together 20 years and I start feeling like I can't make it with out her... even though she doesn't do shit, isn't that fucked up?

Kreneman · Accepted Answer

Break down by creating a list of the positive and negative traits of the person and yourself; in then understanding what went wrong by analyzing yourself and the person. Meditate on those things in then if there's room for improvement and strengthen, do those things, and you will overcome the issue (keep practicing and exercising those steps).

__cassiexxx · Accepted Answer

See this is the problem here. What i have learnt is you can’t fully let go of someone if they’re still in you’re life. Get them out of you’re life. Obviously you can’t if you have kids they’re always gonna be in you’re life but if you don’t then nothings stopping you. It is hard but coming from a woman who has abandonment issues and BPD I let go of someone I was dating for a year. I was so adamant that I’d never be able to leave him but I did. And now I don’t care when people leave because I got over this guy who I loved so much. It was hard to let him go but I’m almost fully healed now. When I was keeping in contact with him i couldn’t fully let go I kept thinking about him and just going back to square 1. Now I’ve been in no contact for 3 weeks From everyday i’m so much better. Time heals. It hurts more holding on sometimes than letting go trust me. You can’t really let go of them if they’re in you’re life

MoniqueTLC · Accepted Answer

Distance, Distance and more distance. It's difficult, especially if you're emotionally attached to them or your feelings have progressed over time. But to help with not 'encouraging' any more feelings to grow, you need to distance yourself as much as you possibly can. This includes over text, social media, face to face interactions.

Also surrounding yourself with other positive people who will uplift you and make you feel good will only aid with your mindset x

Pinay_ako · Answer

Zero contact and stick to that until you don’t feel anything for them.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

A few details would be helpful.

MrOracle · Answer

You need to cut them out of your life as much as possible - do not have any silly ideas that you can still be friends - and then you need to focus on your present and near future, and stop dwelling on the past.

Unfollow them on social media, don't drive by their house or job, don't ask your friends about them, and otherwise make a clean break from them, and work on your own life. Get some things done that you have been putting off, which will give you a sense of accomplishment, and then work on your social life.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well that just depends on a lot of things is it somebody that you like but they are with somebody else no matter the case you just have to do it you have to understand and realize that with the truth is you have to be honest with yourself really and you have to respect yourself and that person and anybody else that's involved and you just do it you might not like it but you do it and at the end of the day or week or month you kind of shows you who you are too it makes you stronger person and a better person

ZackBan · Answer

As someone who's done it I can confirm it is doable.

What needs to happen is you growing into the next phase of your life where you can't see yourself with the person.

Ideally finding someone new and building on that helps with getting used to a new normal.

But even without that you just need to normalize the friendship.

In my case it was a girl I was in love with since I was 17. But now she came out and is dating another girl and they both good friends of mine and I even share my adventures with other women with them. It's so normal that it is almost impossible to picture me and her getting from here to a relationship together. And it's the healthiest I've ever been mentally because of it.

mobiusforniner · Answer

I was the guy in this situation. My friend was emotionally attached. She tried cutting me off cold turkey but would come back. It was confusing as hell. So i cut it off... told her I loved her, but it cannot be and i needed her to move on so I can focus on my family and she can truly be happy.

Worst breakup of my life...

Anonymous · Answer

Ahhh. Right now i am dealing with a similar matter except we met in the same country, then this year i moved to Germany and she moved to Hungary a while later. We didn't date and while i have feelings for her she doesn't like me. We don't talk but i like her.

I keep trying to find other girls in order to not be sad about not having her. there plenty of other girls, so I'm not tripping about not having specifically her.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

There is no cure for that when they are still close. Just ganna either have to tell them how you feel or burn with love for them

AviatorTom · Answer

You stop thinking about yourself and your less, and think about them and how they are better off now.

dustybiker · Answer

You can’t. It’s like when someone dies. They will always be a part of you.

AddylynnNightingale · Answer

I try to remind myself of the heartbreak of it not going to work out.

art84 · Answer

My brother has his ex as she has children who she sees every other weekend. Though he doesn't have feelings for her as he has a wife now.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Just do it

Iron_Man · Answer

Why would you want to do that for that’s ridiculous

es20490446e · Answer

What kind of relationship are you expecting to get from someone who doesn't want to be with you?

BLP11520 · Answer

One of the hardest things in life. It may hurt for a time. I have experienced that.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

kill them. its the only way

richgentlem4n · Answer

Will get them out of my life.

MiseriaCantareAFI · Answer

youd need to ask yourself, WHY they are

Beardedman1996 · Answer

The silent slip, drift into unfeeling, let them go

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Get them out of your life.

nickaboy · Answer

Same problem here , we can't

jimmy2 · Answer

That pic tells it all Good bye girl

chocomilk99 · Answer

Look for negetivity

CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS · Answer

Find a new hobby

Wizzie_R · Answer

Its tough

LavLavLuv · Answer

I just let em go

Fuentes · Answer

Shut the door

How to let go of someone you have feelings for when they're still part of your life?

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