Search Results: being honest

I recently entered the talking phase with t 29 and he’s very much his way or the highway type of man and very rarely is open to other opinions I myself am 23 and if I had to be put into a category I would say I’m head strong and similar to the my way or the highway type of thinking so we’ve been butting heads a lot we said are hard limits and what we both want out of this relationship one of the tougher conversations was we both can hold a conversation with just about anybody which is fine just the boundaries were crossed it was stated that we do not entertain people the way we do with each other I was honest and told him I didn’t and he said the same thing yet today I heard a woman say “you were saying tell me you love me on the phone” which for a lot of reasons made me upset I’m not a very over emotional person but my feelings were hurt and he chose to ignore that and call me out about the way I talk to people instead of asking why I was having that reaction I was overthinking so I went out for fresh air and he was ignoring me and my calls I again kept overthinking and felt like how I felt in my old relationship that I was overly emotional and I couldn’t help it cause I was a woman are the type of things said to me and I feel like this situation is pulling me back into the shell I was once in I know t didn’t say those words to me but not being heard or listened to is just putting me in a dark headspace like a doll no thoughts no emotions no nothing yes sir no sir is where my mind is going and I blame myself I blame myself for being so quick to fall back and back burner my feelings like they don’t matter and questioning myself for being emotional im sorry if this sounds like a bunch of nonsense I can’t get the right words of how I’m feeling besides low and unwanted Sorry again for this long post

I find it so frustrating to live in a world where saying want you do not mean is expected to the point where being direct su “weird” and being honest is invariably misconstrued.

It is not as if I do not have sense of humor, I can joke etc (sometimes it is difficult for me to distinguish between sarcasm and bluntness coming from others, tho I think this may have more to do with people using jokes to say what they actually mean…)

Anyhow, if I’m communicating, I have no reason to not be direct and while I know some people try to gain leverage by not being direct, I just do not understand why other people go along with games to the point where it is cultural default. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Just to be clear, I am not referring to being an a hole- using honesty as an excuse. Being direct doesn’t mean you say everything in your head. You can say you do not want to talk about something or just say nothing. Being direct just mean not using language to jerk people around in my opinion.

🙄 WHY IS THIS AUTOMATICALLY PUT IN “GUYS BEHAVIOR” I’m not a dude. 👀

So probably some if you are gonna say “hey yeah women ask me out awesome 😃 I don’t have to do anything…”

They just come up to me. Let’s gooooo 🥳 but.. that is not how it works.

You may like someone. You may be uncertain if they like you. They may be really shy. They may take a long time to get to asking you out. They may play games. They may assume you don’t like them…You.. may be in limbo for months. & yeah, you can just move on but___how often have you REALLY been interested in someone and then just said OK I’ll just move on because you know, ‘they’re not saying anything’🫤

It’s normal and healthy to go after what you want within reason. and even if you have someone out and they say no, there’s a satisfaction in that there’s dignity and knowing that you made an effort, you did what you could you tried your best and now you haven’t answer and you can move on and get on with your life.

That is an entirely different feeling to just kind of waiting around and seeing nothing really happening. You’re not sure but you’re pretty sure.. it’s almost like you’re pretty much sure…finally you just kind of fade off into the future, without closure, Knowing you did nothing.

Maybe your dream girl will ask you out. Maybe she’ll do it fast, maybe not 🤷🏻‍♀️ the point is you relinquish agency to her.

Getting a yes, is absolutely the best thing but no is a very close. Second nothing or confusion is the absolute worst.

So I’m not asking you how would you enjoy being asked out—I’m saying how would you feel if it was socially unacceptable for you to ask women out. That maybe they will, maybe they won’t but you can’t do anything on your own or you can but then people will think you’re a loser and women won't date you because they think you’re weak or Desperate bc you ashes them out.

How would you feel in the situation? Try to be honest. You might like it but think about it realistically… the pros, the cons etc and tell me how you feel.

Thank you.