Search Results: How do you really feel about life

One thing that would happen to me a lot in my time as a bouncer, a football player, and now as a (heavy air quotes) hockey player is people actively disrespecting me, maybe trying to goad me into something, maybe not, but always them being an asshole without provocation from me. You can think it’s ridiculous or not, but disrespect will get the worst out me. I could throw my whole life away over intentional disrespect, which sounds crazy when cool-headed me is typing it, but seems like the logical solution when I lose control of myself. Needless to say that has caused some negative situations in the past, to put it politely.

I have to own my response, as unintentional and unconscious as it might be. There have definitely been times when people have just been like “holy fuck, dude, take it easy!”, and I get it, but it really pisses me off that no one is mad at the person who brought this out of me, because it’s not like I just flip for nothing. You have to do something egregious to get me there. What you do might not be as loud, or as physical, but you’re still every bit the asshole for creating the environment for a situation like that to transpire. I’m not blame-free, but I’m not even there without you doing something first.

So I guess I’m saying I feel like the quiet “cause” gets dismissed, and the blame just completely shifts to the noisy “effect”, and I think that’s pretty off-base if you ask me. I very much reject the notion that I or anyone else should just be able to absorb whatever mistreatment we experience and not react, and if we do, everything is our fault. That really feels like a cop-out for the more common “quiet offender” to get away with doing stupid shit and then spinning it around on whoever calls them out or reacts to their bad behavior.

My question is simple & open for this discussion of course.

You fall in love with a friend of yours, you let them know how you really feel in the last couple of months, but they never thought of you being more than just a friend, & they definitely don't feel the same way too, specially when you know you almost have 0% chance of being more than friends. Even if that feeling has been for almost a year now. And it's almost impossible thinking about that person as just friends anymore no matter how hard you try to convince yourself there isn't anything else.

You love & care so much about that special person it seems impossible to let go. What would you do in this case?

Please consider that staying friends with someone you love might have several consequences on your futur life when being in love with someone that hard.

1- it will eat you alive frome the inside knowing you have no chance of becoming more than just friends.

2- you'll be hurting yourself everyday specially when the day comes & you find them with someone else so it might kill you emotionally.

3- you will be hurting only yourself thinking about that person everyday & keeping them all the time in you mind & heart when that person barely showing signs that they care about you not even 10% of what you're showing to them.

4- if you stayed friends it will be so hard for you to find someone else & if you did, you might ruin that relationship because of your love to your friend.

5- this friendship causes more harm than good

I have had this extremely heavy burden weighing on my shoulders for the longest of time.

I am 27 and never had a real girlfriend. I feel my life is over in terms of having a girlfriend, a wife, and a family one day.

I want a woman where we can be each other's first loves. I seek a woman where we can be each other's first boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't want to give my heart away to a woman who has loved someone romantically before, especially from her youth. I just don't know if I will ever find her.

I deal with this every day. The depression, the anxiety, and the overwhelming sadness. I am hurt.