My boyfriend feels lonely?

[Anonymous]

I'm in a long distance relationship. We're so much in love. We used to be in touch everyday, then it so happened he got stressed out,depressed and wanted to be alone. I understood that and for 4-5 weeks I kept minimum contact as he wished.(used to meet him only online for few minutes daily) Now I sense he's being very lonely and sad.. I just don't know why.. I have asked him to share it with me though he keeps silence. I'm very lonely too but I don't want to make him sadder. Am going through a hard phase in life in everything. I lookout for him then fall silent.There is no doubt he loves me and I am sure I'm a good girl friend as well as a best friend to him. I have tried everything; talking openly, trying to contact, telling my concerns, keeping distance, showing my possessiveness, supporting him. He doesn't forget to say he loves me.. Guys please suggest what should I do? When I am with him if he feels lonely, I really feel very insecure and heartbroken : ( I love him ..

Updates

+1 y

no suggestions yet : ( I must be the only girl facing something like this then.. : (

[roxy627]

How far away are you guys? I've been through a long distance relationship and it sure is hard and it deffinately sucks, but I think it's worth while in the long run. It really proves to yourself and to each other how much you guys love each other, how faithful you both are, and how much trust you have for each other. I dated my boyfriend (at that time he was my bf...now he's my husband) for about 8 months, long distance. When I mean long distance I mean we were both on the opposite ends of the world. We kept in touch everyday through phone or skype. It's shocking to read that you're boyfriend requested to keep MINIMUM CONTACT. My boyfriend and I spoke to each other as much as we possibly could (it was kinda difficult with the time difference and such). Whenever we were sad or "depressed" from being so far from each other I would send him cute emails or messages (on Facebook, etcs.), pictures and reminded him that "we'll be seeing each other soon". We spoke everyday and just talked about everything. He would suprise me and send flowers to my place. We were mainly apart because he was going to school so when I had the chance I would go and visit him. I was able to make it out for New Years and Valentines day and his birthday. With all said...communication is the only thing that will work out a long distance relationship (in any relationship actually) so it's weird that he wants "minimum contact".

[goldentendril]

Hey Roxy! am sorry replying you so late..And it' snice to know about you and your hubby : )

Very true, without communication no relation stays..As I posted earlier it was very tough for me. Am glad ,now things are better..We stay 1000 km away.When I couldn't take it anymore, I said, if he thinks we aren't for each other in happiness and sadness, I would walk away..It was very tough for me to tell that bcuz we trust each other completely.And I knew he was aware that he was hurting me and was sorry

[goldentendril]

He called me up and we talked about it..He opened up quite a bit, explained few incidents that made him depressed and how he got stuck into the loop..Now we're doing a lot better..He texts me or communicates in FB.. Because of difference in our working timings we don't get to talk over phone calls as much..and since he's starting up his own venture a lot busier..But keeping in touch..and has come out of depression after talking to me..: ) Am glad for him..

[goldentendril]

Hope to meet him next month..thanx for all the support Roxy..I am going to keep ur advice in mind..Now whatever I feel I just tell him there and there, so that there are no more delays ..it's working am talking to him over yahoo at the moment: ) thanx again..And wish you a very beautiful life..Take care...: )

[Msbaloo]

I'm dealing with the same problem. I live in a different country and can't move and marry him yet due to cultural context and many factors... So we try to cheer up each other and plan to be together in the future. Last week, he lost connection with me, and never told me about his days like disappeared.. So i cried and talked to dad to figure out. I know he loves me but maybe he needs some space. Then, i made it a big deal and hinted to him that if he never keeps it touch i might break up with him. He was frustrated and we had two hour talk on the phone. I came to realised he needs a space. He wanted to go see his friends and played game with them and didn't want to leave their houses early to talk. He said he devoted time to me but sometimes he felt so depressed that he couldnt text me.. Well i got hid point and the way out is let him have somw time and make compromise to text or tell daily life acvitiies to keep in touch and support each other that ldr couple can close the distance and it is worthy to wait until the day they will be together. Hope this help,, i know what u have been going through. Some of you need to be stronger emotionally and lift other's emotion high.

[mahshad]

hun, idont know how late this respond is but I just read it today and I was looking for advise myself regarding my boyfriend and we are in a long distance relationship too and I know exactly what youare going through ... I wish I could give you an amazing advise and solve all your problems but I'm only 18 and he's my 1st boyfriend and don't have much experience and yet I feel so inlove .. believe it or not he is my other half! I spend the 1st two weeks of summer in california with him and it all felt natural and as if we've never been apart ... but recently he seems different, tired, sad and lonely and I don't know hwat to do to help him out .. I've tried everything, talking to him, giving him space .. but there is only so much you can do with in long distance relationships. I guess we just gotta wait for them to openup to us and maybe that way we could help them out ... but truthfully its killing me seeing him like that

[sirex]

hey cheer up , you are not the only one have long distance relationship. my fiance live far from me too. yes you are right both must feel very lonely . best you can try to do is talk to him as much as you can cos communicate is the best you can save it .

i think he feels the same way as you insecure and hearth broken .

i talk to my fiance and text her everyday to let her know I'm still her to support and care, love no matter how far your distance from. we both try to visit us more but we responsible person so we know what come first. but in long way both have to be strong. If you want this relationship to last Strong, supportive, caring , love , truth- the last thing is communicate with him very day.

Good luck.

[Asker]

Thanx buddy.. actually my problem is I don't know why he feels lonely, it's not because we're far. We always are aware and it's gonna take min 4 years for us to get together so going strong with that. There's something in his mind he isn't sharing about, depressed and lonely. I don't know the reason and he knows am always there for him still not talking abt it. More than a month now I'm restless and sad to see him like that. He just doesn't communicate abt it, whatever way I ask him.

[yomi123]

To be completly honest it sounds like has has found interest in another "something" and doesent want to tell you what that "something" is. Men have a hard time opening up but if your being supportive think about it if he loves you then why is he not telling you what's going on with him. I'm not saying it could be a girl it could be a hobby or something else. I would be upfront with him and tell him how your feeling and he should be able to communicate with you that's only fair to the both of you. Ask him to be completly honest so you can both have an understanding.

[goldentendril]

Thanks Yomi..I did as you've mentioned.. I talked directly when I felt it was too much to take.. and he opened up when I said how bad is my situation.. and we're doing fine now.. Hope our relation will get stronger with time..Thanks a lot..: ) Take care