Search Results: never had a girlfriend

I’ve been emotionally committed to a guy for almost 3 years, I don’t think he ever emotionally committed to me though. We went on a 4 dates when we first met & never slept together. He’s stayed in touch with me on FaceTime through a deployment & him moving across the country. Emotionally were closer than ever, we talk for hours multiple days a week, but he recently told me he doesn’t want a LDR so I told him I’d move & he didn’t say anything about it. I know he’ll continue to call & share with me like I’m his girlfriend, but he isn’t moving this forward or willing to try.

I really love him so I don’t want to cut him out, but I don’t see another option except saying “Unless you’re ready to commit or give me real space in your life, please don’t call me”.

I’m looking for a man’s perspective, please give me advice or say what you think I should do.

I can this with honesty:

I wish my parents would've been divorced long ago. It was terrible having to witness their violent episodes happening probably once a month or once every two months. Personally if my husband ever laid a hand on me once that would be over for me. Even once is too much for me. That's not all. At some point in 2012, supposedly my mother said my father went on explaining how she was never the love of his life but that he was always in love with his ex girlfriend. She pretty much dislikes him by now and their marriage is a farce; a mockery of what genuine commitment, love and respect is suppose to be about.

As of now, every single hang-out they go out to and even their so called ''40th wedding anniversary'' (that was on March 27th) is a facade, all for appearances. So basically growing up, I've seen a chaotic, unloving and dysfunctional marriage with episodes of violence. My parents would cover it up by going out more often and celebrating Christmas, etc.

Tell me what's worse to you:

What I've lived though my life; parents are together but it's a total facade of a marriage, a dysfunctional one

Divorced parents with joint custody and separation of assets

So I have kind of like a boyfriend.. it feels like he’s going to be my life partner..

he has blue eyes. He has a daughter, she also has blue eyes..

before I met them I’ve always worn contacts purple, green, grayish green (not blue)

my natural eyes are brown.

Now I feel rather stupid or absurd putting them on because they have natural colored eyes.. I never felt bad about putting them on because it was part of my getting ready routine and it did make me look a little extra more put together like part of my makeup. I don’t really wear any makeup and the contacts makes the entire look come together..

but I can’t help but feel so “wannabe”ish now …

I never saw it that way at all.. and now somehow I feel like I’ll be judged.. in a bad way..

I have a lot of hair for example, and very long, and when girls who wear long extensions ask me about my hair and I reveal it’s all my natural hair, I can feel it in their face expression and mannerisms they feel uncomfortable now that theirs is fake.. they don’t say it but I see it and feel it, and I can’t help and feel the way they look upon finding out they’re fakes in front of that they’re trying to copy..

so my question is.. if I’m with them , should I stop wearing them?

Any guys here with colored eyes? If you found a girl and became your girlfriend an thought about life and family with her, if you notice she’s wearing contacts not for seeing but just to change her color eyes, would that make you feel like she’s a fake wanna be type of impression?

as of now he’s never seen me with contacts at all. I always show myself natural because I feel that is weird.. but if we actually stay together it means I won’t be able to war my pretty contacts again? Without looking all fake? :/

what’s you advice on This?