Am I wrong for having feelings for a coworker while in a sexless relationship?

[Zally]

So I have a girlfriend of 5 years, she's always been good to me and I love her very much, but we dont get sexual, have not for about 3 years. Its dumb but im too big for her. She ends up bleeding etc and sometimes the hospital. She's a very good person though.

The problem is that there's this girl at work, she's super pretty, funny. All the things guys like about girls and we get along really well. We talk about less then pg related things and we always have a good time. I know the whole dont get interested in your work friends. But we click so well. Am I wrong for thinking about the girl at work? She's into me and im into her, but I would never do anything that stops my current relationship. I dont want to completely reject the girl at work, she's a good friend too and it would make working kind of a nightmare if its gonna be weird all the time. Got any advice?

[Anonymous]

It's a normal response to your situation. I have known more than one guy on here in your situation.

[Opinion Owner]

If you are serious though about not wanting to do any harm to your current relationship, it is best to avoid her. Trust me, I have been your co-worker twice in the exact scenario you describe. It does not end well, for her or you. The temptation is hard to resist but it is best to keep things PG. The connection and the feelings get deeper if you let them, which you clearly are going to.

[Zally]

Its pretty hard when the girl at work is built like a dream, its all I've been thinking about, I know I should not do anything. And chances are I won't. But what I wouldn't give to be happy and be able to be sexually forfilled.

I know this is going to sound dumb but I can love more then one person in my heart, nothing sexual when I say that. Its just my heart has so much to give and its hard closing it off to everyone, just for 1 person. There's the right thing to do. And the things you desire to do. I dont want to break hearts

[Opinion Owner]

I understand your feelings. I have been the girl the guy with a girlfriend and once the guy who is married also had feelings for. They get stronger and the thing to remember is that they go both ways. She will develop them for you too especially when she knows you have them for her. And what is she to do about it?

[Zally]

She deserves to be happy. And with me that happiness won't last, im taken. I won't do anything. Its just hard when its in your face all the time.

[Opinion Owner]

That is the right choice. You may be able to split your love among different people but they need to be ok with that too. But if you are so unfulfilled sexually that it's making you think about other women, you should reconsider if you're really as happy in your current situation as you think you are. You are looking for something you don't have and you clearly want. You have to make sure you are ok with what you are sacrificing

[Plugs]

Built like a dream? If she’s prettier , perfecter than your girlfriend just be with her. Breakup with your girlfriend

[Zally]

Dont tempt me lol, I see her everyday at work and wonder maybe all the trouble closing someone else out would be worth it. Im unsure why I can't just have both. They both want me and its not like im cutting up someone else to make that happen. I just want it to be that simple.

[Anonymous]

Let your girlfriend be with a man who she is compatible , and u should be with a girl who u are compatible with

[In_Trance]

Lame. Don't fuck your coworkers. It never works out the way you think it will

[Summeroflove]

Leave the relationship

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy heart stuff without judging you, just guiding you, sexy brain first. 😉

You’re not wrong for catching feelings. That’s human, not a red flag. Acting on them would be.

You’re in a love-but-no-sex situation, which over time naturally creates space for emotional and sexual attraction to others. That’s not cheating, that’s unmet needs.

You’ve got three big things going on: loyalty to your girlfriend, real physical incompatibility, and emotional/sexual chemistry with the coworker. That combo is exactly where people accidentally slide into emotional affairs, then ghost their partner emotionally and end up confused.

If sex is painful enough that she’s bleeding and going to the hospital, this is serious. That needs a doctor, a specialist, and a brutally honest talk. You either: work together on solutions, explore alternatives, or accept that sexual incompatibility is a deal-breaker for you. Staying in a sexless relationship while craving connection is slow-motion heartbreak for both of you.

With the coworker, you need boundaries. No more flirty, less-than-PG chats, no leading her on, no late-night deep talks. Keep it friendly, not charged. If she’s openly into you, she’s not just “a good friend,” she’s a temptation. That’s how cheating starts: not with sex, but with “I’d never actually do anything…”

You don’t have to reject her harshly, but you can gently cool it: less personal talk, shorter convos, keep it professional. That protects your relationship and also respects her so she’s not emotionally lovebombing a taken guy.

The real move: stop focusing on the coworker and focus on the truth of your relationship. Can you be happy long-term without sex, or with the current limitations? If not, it’s kinder to end things than to emotionally check out while staying physically present.

You’re not a bad guy. You’re a guy at a crossroads. Make a conscious choice instead of drifting into something you’ll regret.

[Zally]

The temptation is insane strong. But I also feel like unless I accept a sexless relationship. I won't be happy with how things are. I dont want to be sad about things if I have to break up, and its not like my girlfriend is a mean person. These choices are so hard, and im unsure she would be willing to compromise anything or even talk about it. 100% the reason I'm on this app asking and not just talking to her ><

[Selene1600000]

You're not wrong for noticing a connection with someone else. The bigger issue is that your current relationship has a serious intimacy problem that has gone unresolved for years, and that needs an honest conversation before your feelings for your coworker grow stronger. If you want to stay loyal to your girlfriend, create some distance from the flirtation at work and focus on deciding whether your current relationship can realistically meet both of your needs long term.

[slatyb]

Why are you still with your girlfriend?