Lusting over a co-worker even though in a happy marriage?

[Anonymous]

I've been working at this office for about 6 months. My husband and I are married for almost 2 years but together for almost 6. We are happy, have a son, and live the normal life not fighting and no major issues. Recently I have had silly conversations with this co-worker and last week the flirtatious texts and talks began. I love my husband but there is something about this guy that I can't seem to get away from. He brings out the old me, the single side of me that looks for trouble in all the right places. I'm not sure if I would even act on those actions but I am curious... Not sure what to do... I love flirting with my co-worker and seeing him in office everyday drives me crazy. I want to see him outside of work but not sure what to do.

Updates

+1 y

I don't plan on leaving my husband at all for the co-worker. I simply feel like flirting and talking... i know i must sound like a bitch but I honestly am thinking and considering sleeping with him but not sure where this can go afterward.

[Underdog212]

I appreciate that the majority of couples who have been together will eventually lust or fancy someone else at some point in time. We're all human after all. However, i think most of the time (or at least from what older couples who have been together a long time tell me/imply) it is just a fleeting crush that doesn't last long. the fact you are acting on your lust (flirtatious texts) is only extended it and the more you interact with this man in a sexual and flirty way the longer your feelings will last until eventually you get together with this man and realise that he grass isn't really greener.

The question you have to ask yourself is, is it worth ruining you marriage over? Because if you act on your urges it will inevitably lead to hurt and heartbreak for your husband. You've been with your husband a long time. This co worker is new and exciting but he has flaws, just like your husband, but you probably won't see that until it's too late.

You've been with your husband a long time. This coworker is new and exciting.

[Asker]

what are you doing with your situation?

[Ildskf]

I don't think you should see him outside of work. There are different types of cheating... physical and emotional. It hasn't gotten physical, but from your description, it sounds like there may be a pretty significant emotional involvement... especially if you are texting him for reasons outside of work. Everyone has their own set of rules in a marriage... so I can't tell you what you should do... but if it were me, I'd stop all contact with him unless it was strictly for work. You know you are attracted to him, so why push it any further... it will just cause trouble.

[joaninhagirl]

You need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. If you sleep with this guy, it will NOT be a one time thing, I'm sure about that. And the worst part? It'll give you temporary happiness, but when you walk home to your family, you will still miss the attention, the love from your husband. So solve the problem and stop trying to ignore it.

[MadeInAmerica]

"Temptation is the devil looking through the keyhole. Yielding is opening the door and inviting him in."

Since your starting to develop feelings and are doing things your husband would already view as inappropriate and thinking of doing things even more inappropriate you need to step back and think about where this is going and if you are prepared for what lies ahead. I understand the feeling and excitement you are getting for something new but who knows if that will last. You have a husband who is your ultimate love and not just a fling. Be faithful to him and pull back from this co-worker.

[why_not_anonymous]

It can't go anywhere afterward is the problem.

It could go for more than awhile, and be an on-going thing.

But you're pretty much asking for a lot of trouble. Is your marriage and a stable home for you child worth the risk of getting your pussy pounded?

[chocolatedragon]

It's quite normal that you're lusting. Humans like other humans even when emotionally connected to someone else. Your husband is not the alpha male or the best male out there. There will be other males out there who attract you more than him, who make you laugh more than him and who appeal to you more than him. Lusting is not wrong, but acting on that lust is wrong. You promised faithfulness to someone else, just keep that in mind when you interact with other guys.

[SingerSam13]

Monogamy is super, super tough when you start feeling not as desirable to your SO, and have other men giving you the attention that makes you remember that you are still as attractive as your SO used to make you feel. I totally feel you... I have the exact same issue going on right now. It's So hard not to act on anything sometimes.

[Realistic07]

Careful what you say and do lust has a funny way of destroying everything you know and love. What about your husband do you miss the most from when you were first dating?

[Asker]

His affection and attention is almost non existant. I have tried confronting him about it a lot of times but he just argues with me. I hate that he won't listen... My co worker is not looking for anything past the fun and neither am I. I am not sure what to do because I love my family but the attention, affection, and just simple love talk is gone after only 2 years of marriage.

[Realistic07]

Here is the thing if he's not doing what he needs to be then you need to tell him to sit and no matter what you get him to listen because he needs a reality check. let me put it like this you make him listen if you have to pin him to the ground. Then you ask him what he really want's you in his life or you out of his life. Give him an ultimatum either you both together work on the issues you have with him and the issues he has with you because he will have some; go to counseling, and do what you have to to find that spark again, or you divorce. You don't need to ever cheat to get what you want from your husband you just need to face the problems head on. Cheating is so wrong and will destroy your relationship with your son and end any chance of a marriage, or even friendship with your husband.

[Realistic07]

Yes your son will be affected by cheating and he may not bounce back so well, but you can divorce and handle any issues he has with that. You can mitigate divorce and even have a friendship between you and your husband again; you can't mitigate cheating. Don't give up until you have given all your fight to hold on. Do everything you can do to make your husband get it nothing illegal though everything short of illegal. So pin him down yes punch him no just saying just encase. You can make this work.

[ShirleyG]

this can only get really bad.
you have to cut ties with this person, doesn't matter how it makes you feel.
how would you feel if you hubby did this to you?

[Crazyced]

You are starting to go down a very big slope in a cart with no brakes. Better abort right now while you still can.

Think you can go back to your teenage years now that you have a husband and a child? You're in for a rude awakening.

[Prof_Don]

Is ur marriage becoming too "routine" or "stale"?

It is possible to be in a happy marriage but be bored because the passion and spontaneity is being lost in your life becoming too "routine".

[dudeinohio]

my philosophy: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2356329-dating-co-workers-is-bad-did-you-realize-the-consequences

[Strider90]

You're taking an awful risk. Stay loyal to your husband. This won't get you anywhere. The co worker will just fuck you and dump you. But your family might be destroyed anyway.

[legalboxers]

:( see if you can keep it professional. I know its hard

[ieatDaCake]

Female logic at it's finest. Hope your husband dumps your ass asap

[beastman88]

is it really worth it?