Flirting
3 mo

Talking to a guy for 2 months… but he has a girlfriend (long-distance). Am I wasting my time?

I need outside perspectives because I feel like I’m starting to lose clarity.


I’ve been talking to a guy consistently for about 2 months. We text almost daily — not just small talk, but real conversations, flirting, and sometimes things feel a little more intimate. There’s definitely a connection. We have met in person years ago too, & had a connection.


For context, I recently got out of a long-term relationship, so I’m trying to stay self-aware and not get pulled into something unhealthy.


Here’s the issue: he has a girlfriend. It’s a long-distance, international relationship.


What’s confusing is that he’s told me he’s not happy, doesn’t see a future with her, and doesn’t think he wants to marry her. He’s even hinted at ending it.


But he’s still with her.


At the same time, he actively engages with me — double texts, sends reels, checks in, and keeps the conversation going. I’m not chasing him.


However, he has never made a real move to see me in person, even though it would be possible.


So I feel stuck in this weird situation where:


He’s emotionally invested in talking to me
Says he’s unhappy in his relationship
But is still in it
And isn’t taking real steps toward me


It’s starting to feel like I’m just filling a space for him — like attention or emotional support while he keeps his relationship.


I do like him, but something about this doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t want to get more invested in something that may not go anywhere.


So I’m wondering:


Does he actually like me, or just the attention?
If he were serious, wouldn’t he have ended his relationship?
Am I being used as an in-between person?
Am I disrespecting myself by continuing this?


I feel like I need to either pull back or say something, but I don’t know if I’m overthinking it.


What would you do?

Updates
3 mo
We are both in USA but opposite ends of the country!
Talking to a guy for 2 months… but he has a girlfriend (long-distance). Am I wasting my time?
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