I've liked this guy for about 9 months now. I feel like i'm wasting my time?

[Anonymous]

I am not the type of person that likes guys often because I am very picky (not that I don't have crushes there has just been just 1 other guy besides this one that I could see myself with). I feel like I have wasted the last 9 months on this guy because I don't believe that he likes me. I don't want to get my hopes up and waste my time like I did with the other guy and it turn out he doesn't like me either. This guy is really confusing. Sometimes he treats me better than the other girls and sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he treats them better. The other day he talked to the other girl we were working with more than he talked to me. He said he was really tired I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I'm hoping that he talked to her more only because he didn't have the engery to flirt with me and apparently I ask him questions that people don't normally ask him or he's never thought about like what he wants to do with the degree he is going for. Although, even when I'm tired I still pay attention to him. I guess guys are different though. What should I do? I don't want to give up on him but then again I don't want to waste my time either.

[LillyCallas]

As a picky girl who has been in similar situations, I can say that it doesn't seem like he likes you. If he likes you, you know. He initiates. He is always happy to see you, and after nine months he probably would've made a move. I was in a similar situation where I thought that a guy really liked me. He always treated me better and always seemed to like me but the tell tale signs that he didn't like me were a) I was putting in more effort into this than he was b) he never initiated.

You say that you ask him questions people don't normally ask him. Is that a two way street? Does he pay attention to you if he's tired? If no then probably he just has a flirty personality.

Of course you can always ask him out anyway (and it can be totally noncommittal like coffee or study party or whatever) but from what I read it doesn't seem like he likes you.

[Silvesc]

Truthfully, if a guy is interested in you you will definitely know it. There shouldn't be any question. He might just have a flirty personality

[PhoenixRisingDK]

Every second you wait for someone else to make a move, is a second wasted.
So if you've wasted 9 months, who's really to blame?

If you like him, make a move before someone else does, get me?
Don't expect a leprechaun to appear by magic and make him your boyfriend.

You know... he could be thinking the exact same thing!
And if he doesn't figure you're interested, he's gonna hook up with someone else eventually.

[Asker]

I understand where you are coming from and I would ask him out if I knew that he liked me too. I am not going to ask him out when I don't know if he likes me, if I believed he liked me then I would ask him out.

[PhoenixRisingDK]

And he could feel the exact same way.
Result = nothing happens.

Maybe you just need to flirt a little harder.