Search Results: scared of commitment

I got my Bachelor’s in Psych back in 2018, since then I’ve worked in higher education. Was in academic advising for a little over 2 years & that job felt like a bad fit across the board. Then I was in career services for about 3 months at another school & combined with mgmt/having to talk in public settings made me quit, I then worked in financial aid at another school for a little less than 2 years. While that felt like kind of a better fit based off mgmt’s feedback & a bit more confidence in my job tasks, I was miserable. I just worked in FA again at another school for a little less than a month & decided working in this new school felt a bit off.

29F and I have never felt like such a failure, I have a bit of a savings after selling my condo a little less than 2 years ago & live with family again so there’s that “cushion” but it’s not ideal obviously. I completed a form to schedule a meeting with alumni career services where I got my degree & waiting to hear back, I’m scared to apply for work bc I really don’t know what I want to do with my life. My mom said maybe higher education isn’t a good fit for me b/c of this pattern I’ve had, thinks I should work temp jobs since there’s no commitment & I can pay my way to go back to school. But I don’t want any more student loans since pell is maxed out & again I DON’T KNOW what I want to do.

I’m kind of stumped in the sense that I don’t know what I want to do, I feel like I enjoy the higher ed field but it may not be the best fit as I keep ending up in a position where I’m back to looking for work again regardless if most of the time it’s been voluntary it seems. Advice appreciated, any resources or suggestions you have from experience leave in the comments.

so I have been talking to a guy for over a year now. very hard to communicate with. He putted the effort to talk to me everyday and be present. But because he is a workaholic he could not make a lot of time to spent some time toghether to really bond. At first I didnr mind because i have a good life of my own and i would make time to see him when it could. That would be taking a walk eating or spent some time alone in the car. He toldnme he is looking for something serious and wants to get married. I dated in between of the beginning stage with other guys. i stopped and only dated him the rest of the 5-6 months. When i would ask about our relationship he was very hessitant about the future but would still send me a lot of signals about marriage like houses he is looking for to live in and would say things like do you like this one and that one. So he would act really serious but when it came to talking about how serious it was always a open end. Like he was scared to commit. So he told me about his past relationshipsnot having a really serious relationship with any girl and that i feel different to him ( in a good way). I recently found out he talked to a girl in the beginninf of the talking stage and also would see her. ( hook up) But I know for a fact he was not planning to marry ( no offense, there are deeper lying things that i know about. Just know for a fact he would never marry her). 2 weeks ago i asked about our relationship again and i found out that after i had the talk with him he contacted the other girl again after not talking for months. When she asked about something serious he would ghost her. I had a conversation immediatly and he told me that he was not serious about her and he is with me and doesn't want to break contact becaus he wants me and wants to further invest more in the relationship and did wrong. He doesn't want me to leave but give him a chance to prove himself and told me he has a lot of commitment issues and trust issues with girls.