What is the attachment type of this person?

[Anonymous]

They were securely attached for many years, until a very disruptive long term relationship which left him traumatized, he never had a relationship last longer than a year since then and he is nowadays scared of commitment, responsibility and drama. He craves emotional intimacy, but he fails to maintain it or to commit. He has high expectations from relationships and doesn’t want to commit until he reaches all his goals and finishes all his bucket list.

[ohsheeT]

I don't really think that he might be an attachment type

I think that he lost part of himself through the trauma and he needs to understand that it's not his fault and let the person that caused the trauma to take it and walk away with it and never come back

I somewhat went through something like this it took me 7 months to get her out of my house seven long months I mean I could have been very rude and very mean and got her out the moment I told her to leave

But she had no place to go and it really wasn't my problem but I made it my problem I guess..
but I got to the point where.
I stopped talking to my friends I stopped hanging out I stopped everything really

And I didn't like anybody LOL
But it took me a while to find myself again to bring myself to snap myself out of it

I kind of have the same Outlook the same goals as he did but I wasn't going to go that far I wasn't going to let this person not only destroyed a piece of me but then by me not being myself each and every day I wasn't going to allow her to do that either it took a lot of work to find myself again to snap out of it and I wasn't going to let her change me by making me angry or keeping me angry each and every day because that's not me so

So I had to think meditate or create or experience explorer things in life to get myself back

And the one thing that really did help me was intimacy in a week's. Time two of her friends had come over to my house each separate times separate and one of my friends all girls and we talked and they wanted to go out on a date and I said no I don't like girls anymore LOL I said the only way that I would do that is if we were to become friends with benefits and I was just joking but all three of them said yes and of course I said okay and that really help me snap out of it because it allowed me to be myself around them and be truly intimate with them
And very deep sensual passionate ways and that kind of snaps me out of it and then also making that friendship even deeper and better then I would probably even do in a relationship so that really helped

The biggest part of it is acknowledgment acknowledge that it's not your fault or his fault that things happen the way they did and then a lot of ways he allowed them to happen just probably like I did I didn't want to be mean I didn't want to be rude I didn't want to just throw her out on the street even though I should have but that's just not me but I will never ever take that pain again ever somebody else creating their life for themselves they need to walk out that door and do it they don't need to do it around me or anybody else if it's a negative I learned quite a bit but anyway I don't know if I answered your question LMAO. But maybe there's something in there that will help.

[Finchie40]

I would say avoidant type , when someone has their heart shit on after devoting themselves to someone and stayed loyal and faithful to that someone for a long time and then that someone all of a sudden changes their mind , and no longer wants to be in that relationship and pushes their loyal partner away , that loyal partner pretty much becomes devastated and sad and hurt that the person they gave their heart to broke it and destroyed the relationship they had together. The loyal partner pretty much loses all hope for love and has a harder time trusting someone else because they assume every opposite sex is a cheater and a backstabber , that can’t be trusted. So for that person to be able to get close to someone new? it’s going to take some time and effort from the other person to pretty much prove that they are honest and loyal and faithful and trusting because the the other person is pretty much having a hard time putting their giuard down to protect themselves from being backstabbed again. I tend to get this way when a girl I loved and cared for backstabs me or betrays me , I tend to go through a phase of avoiding relationships all together until I feel comfortable to date again , if a girl comes on to me during that time , I pretty much distance myself from her and make it clear to her that I am not ready for a relationship whatsoever , but if you want to be FWB’s I am ok with that because my ass is not jumping into another relationship until I feel 100 percent ready to give my heart completely again , So I tend to avoid anything to do with relationships, I will be friends with her and havensex with her but I will not give her my heart 100 percent until I really get to know her and I feel comfortable with her and pretty much know she isn’t blowing smoke up my ass. So it sounds like he is going through pretty much the same thing as me

[smashleyy]

With just that pretty basic description I don’t want to put my two cents in and diagnose a stranger😂. You know them better than any of us. I suggest watching Sarah Hensleys videos on tiktok. She specializes in attachment styles. I thought for the longest time that I was anxious attachment before finding out I was actually fearful avoidant


https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhD2bs4V/



https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhD2G2Mc/



https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhDjd5tJ/

[Anonymous]

The fearful-avoidant attachment style. In most cases, it's difficult to recover from without therapy. Being with an avoidant person can be extremely painful for the attached person.

[Asker]

I am securely attached, but in the past I was avoidant too. He reminds me of myself as I was.

[Opinion Owner]

Alright, so tell me how you got beyond it. Perhaps you could assist him, but once more, I think therapy is the best option.

[Asker]

I got my heart broken, that was my biggest fear. Then that happened and I was fine and I was grateful that at least I had experienced that kind of love, lose of which was devastating at that time. But then I got over it and realized that love is not to be afraid of. And that I am much luckier to have had what I had and lost it then to live a pitiful life of never knowing how amazing it was to love and feel loved. And I realized that the fear of falling in love was much more scarier than the love itself. And that you get hurt, but it’s okay. And I have already experienced the biggest romantic heartbreak I could ever experience and here I am, happy, confident and unafraid to fall in love again. My first love kind of healed my fear of commitment and the heartbreak, healed my heart… If that makes sense.

[Opinion Owner]

It makes sense, and I'm glad you were able to heal. Thank you for sharing. 💕✨

[AI Opinion]

Hey there! Sounds like this person may have transitioned to an avoidant attachment style due to past relationship trauma. After being hurt, he's now craving emotional closeness yet fearful of commitment and responsibility. It's a classic mix of yearning and hesitation wrapped up in a charismatic package. It's crucial for him to balance his aspirations while finding fulfilling connections. Remember, love is sometimes about the journey, not just reaching the destination. Keep those hearts open! 😊💕

[Nikki1989]

I guess it has to do with emotional intimacy, and their patterns of communication.

[Ariesman81]

Why not just be honest with yourself and admit you are attracted to people who don't get attached.

[Anonymous]

Some sort of PTSD...

[sawno]

Sounds like avoidant.

[MoonFace2]

Avoidant attachment.

[Staximus]

Stupid type

[Account]

Definitely avoidant.

[ChefPapiChulo]

who cares?

[msc545]

Prior trauma