I've been seeing a guy since late January. The first month of us dating he came on really intentional with progressing things and his feelings for me. He lives about 5 hours away and he even came to see me for a weekend. Over the last month, I've had to have some deep communication on his thoughts and where he sees things going with me. I already like him a lot. And he says he likes me a lot too, he just has a hectic life with some travel involved next month. And I guess he's been taking time to figure things out on his own. But did ask me questions like long distance timeline wise. Who would potentially move in the future, finding work, etc.
I believe him on this, he's kept me in the loop with what he's been doing and been very transparent. He even sent me his May travel schedule. Originally, the plan was he wanted to come stay with me another weekend in April before committing to a relationship. Slapping the label on at least. But now he's saying that he may cancel coming to see me to have more time to prepare at home for his trips. On one hand I understand, but I'm also scared that that means two more months of basically putting our relationship progression on hold. I've been stuck in a long "situationship" before, and although I do think he has genuine intentions, I can't help but be worried waiting that long. He hasn't told me what he decided just yet. Should I voice how I'm feeling about our current timeline and how I don't feel expecting me to wait that long is fair on me?
What Guys Said
I don't think there is anything wrong with expressing your concerns about the commitment timeline. It is a huge plus that he is being open and communicating with you, especially when it comes to long distance relationships. It sounds like he wants you to be apart of his life, but he also needs time dealing with home/work stuff.
The question is for you is how long are you willing to wait? Suppose you agree to this change and he kicks the can down the road again, is that a dealbreaker for you? Long distance relationships are hard. Sounds like you both have a great foundation and now you just have to figure out the logistics. Hope that helps!
I agree that we seem to have a good foundation. He's been very receptive to me bringing forth questions for him and our budding relationship thus far. I'm very self aware that some part of what is coming up for me is simply relationship anxiety due to being treated poorly in the past. Its been a slower process for me to be more trusting, but I'm working through it. Especially as he HAS been so open and thus far pretty much followers through on what he says he'll do. I am willing to wait, I guess it'll just require a little reassurance for me to feel more comfortable with it if he DOES decide to skip out on seeing me. I understand his want to see me again before committing, I even agree. It just feels like a long time to wait on that. Thank you for your input :)
Totally understandable, since you mentioned being in a long "situationship" before. He sounds like a great guy that seems will be understanding should you bring up or set boundaries with him. Best wishes and hope it all works out. Feel free to let me know how it goes :)