Is it commitment issues or disinterest?

[Anonymous]

I have been talking to this guy for about 2 months now. For starters his dad is the sheriff of where he is from, his father searched me up and uncovered all my psych ward visits, and the fact that I am a retired "only fans girl but in reality it isn't a onlyfans its a subscription based app (again not onlyfans) where i post bikini photos. Yesterday this kid brought up to me that his father called him and told him that the family will no longer talk to him as long as he talks to me (this is a whole other issue). I was obviously upset but knowing this relationship isn't long term and that when we graduate college in May we have agreed to go our separate ways ( I don't want a boyfriend to hold me back from where i go to grad school) it was okay. But for the meanwhile I want our relationship to be genuine and meaningful. I asked him whether or not he wanted to be with me and he said since he doesn't know he guesses he doesn't, then 5 minutes later he's crying and saying that he really likes me he is just afraid of getting close to people (we are 22 now he hasn't had a girlfriend or even spent time consistently with a girl since HS when he got cheated on). He said he's afraid to get attatched, and afraid to get close and that's why he said he didn't want to be with me because he's scared to get close to me and have something with me he doesn't want to get hurt. He said he doesn't care what his family said and he tried defending me and likes me. but now i feel so conflicted and awkward do you think he genuinely likes me and is truly a man who is just scared of being in touch with his emotions, I had never seen him cry before and he said he couldn't remember the last time he cried so when I saw he was crying about this i thought ok he might actually like me. What do you guys think is he scared that he has feelings for me or confused and has no feelings at all?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo that's a heavy situation. On one hand, it does sound like this dude genuinely cares about you if he was crying like that and trying to stand up to his fam. That takes guts.

But I feel you being unsure too cuz the mixed signals would fuck with my head too ya feel me? Dude clearly has some unresolved issues from his past that he's still working though.

My advice would be, don't write him off completely yet. But also protect your heart - don't get too invested until you see more consistency from him in showing you he's really down.

Keep your guard up a bit and let him prove it over time through his actions, not just words. See if he's willing to put in real work on the communication and opening up.

If he bails at the first sign of real intimacy or runs hot/cold, then you'll know it's just his own shit he's gotta deal with and not about you, ya know? But give him a chance to step up first.

It might not be long term for you guys either way since you're finishing school. But maybe you can both gain something meaningful from it if he's willing to meet you halfway. Feel me?

Just do you and see how it plays out. Keep it chill for now. You got this.

[Zestyassmf1997]

This relationship isn’t gonna work at all.

[laly520]

both of em

[Pterodon]

No feelings