Search Results: should i lose my virginity

I’m 30 and have never dated a girl, I went on one date back when I was 21 and lost my virginity on that date and then I had absolutely nothing for the next 5 years when I made it to 3rd base with a girl who was mutual friends with someone I knew. That was 3 years ago and again, nothing since then. I just feel like at this point, there’s no hope left and that girls won’t want to date someone my age who has so little experience. I have become pretty depressed because of this situation and have even turned to drugs, alcohol, and gambling to numb myself cope with the fact that I might be alone forever. I just think that all girls will reject me for being so inexperienced for a 30 year old.

For my first relationship, my girlfriend asked what I wanted for my birthday and I had told her to lose my virginity with you. She was also a virgin so on my birthday, we did it.
What about my future wife? Should I tell her I lost my virginity on my birthday or keep it a secret? I feel like my future wife wouldn’t want to celebrate my birthday after knowing that it was the day I got f*ked. Turns out my ex girlfriend was lying to me. She wasn’t a virgin at all and knew what she was doing. She rode me, sucked on me, literally did everything to me. She went full send on me.