My sister walked in on me *doing it* and she tells everyone to see, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

me (18 female) was with my boyfriend and we have no privacy in any of our homes. Either someone is always home, he lives in a literal closet and my door has no locks so we can have some time for ourselves to do the private stuff. so we are always tryna find an oppurtunity. No one was at my place at the time. in conclusion my sister (16) came back home early from work and slams the door open with no warning at all as she always does cause she never respects my privacy one bit and she sees me and him on the bed. she laughs and has her boyfriend peek through the door too, open the lights and almost tried to remove the covers off of us. I tell her to please get out. runs and goes to get my mom to see us. it was seriously the most embarrassing thing to have ever experienced. I felt so horrible and I began to cry uncontrollably. I told her countless of times to knock before entering my room and I always respect her and her bfs privacy, I've even kept secrets that they both came to be about and always keep them locked up. I am just so disappointed in what she did and puts me on the spot like this. I have horrible stress issues. I wanted to leave my house for the night cause I couldn't sleep. I drank abit to just feel a bit alright about it and passed out once my boyfriend left home. at work this morning which I had at 7am I was so unfocused I dropped things on my clothes and I touched a burning tray. I was out of it. I just don't understand why she would be so mean about all this. I told someone I trusted about the situation (my neighbor) and he said I have to talk to her about it cause this isn't the first time she does something weird like this. once I was dealing with a bad breakup and she got mad at me for not telling her I lost my virginity and even if she had an idea she wanted me to admited to her that I have and finally presured me to say it. my neighbor told me I dont act like the bigger sister and I have to get them to respect me more but I don't know how?

[Anonymous]

Being 16 I’m not surprised at what your sister did. Siblings can already be a pain in the ass but at that age she’s just not mature enough to care about how embarrassing something is, she’s more amused about busting you if anything. On the other hand, not trying to be insensitive but maybe you shouldn’t put yourself in a position to get busted anyway. I get that you want the freedom to be intimate with your boyfriend and don’t want a sexless life, I understand all that. But many would argue that it’s actually disrespectful to do that under your parents roof whether they’re present or not. As an adult, maybe you should hold out on sex until you can move out or get a hotel room. If you can’t afford either, then you can’t afford the child you’d make if an accident happened. So I’m sorry you’re humiliated but you did it to yourself by taking that risk..

[Opinion Owner]

It would take some time to save but at least do that.

[Asker]

personally I doubt my mom cares too much as long as I don't mention it to her and shit. also I'm protected and I'm careful of any accidents happen. in too stressed to have that happen so either way I have plan A, B, C etc. mainly the issue is that my sister acts older than me in many cases and I don't act as If im an older sister cause I just don't know how to do it

[Asker]

but thanks for being kinda respectful about this. my brains been foggy recently so I guess I should of planned a bit more than I already have before anything.

[Opinion Owner]

If you have a plan for accidental pregnancy then that’s good. I guess I could just suggest to plan better in the future or avoid it if it’s too risky. As for your sister, I think this is just her personality and there’s nothing to be done about that. Now you know you can’t really confide in or trust her, which sucks but it happens. It’ll be good once you’re able to move, then you won’t have to worry about her.

[Asker]

I know everyone tends to walk all over me so I think it's just how I act tbh. but she also has that sort of personality and I shouldn't let things slide that often but thanks girly!

[Sandeeppingping]

As you said she has to respect you and your privacy much more, and your neighbor's right, see this as if like you're playing chess or some strategy game, what I'd do is make my best possible move, the way I see it that'd be you making it clear that you're upset and that what she did wasn't cool at all, so you ignore her and if she addresses you as if like nothing happened don't respond, if she tries to play it off playfully (like teasing you or touching you or joking with non-stop), tell her to shut the fuck up and fuck off, just like that, unless she apologizes and promises she'll respect your boundaries and privacy you should never speak to her (sorry for sounding extreme, but if you just give her room to talk to you like normally once without getting her respect back nothing will change and you'd have lost, so it's extremely important for you to be extreme about this), treat her boyfriend the exact same way

[Asker]

yeah I think that is the issue I have, I tend to not argue back or be angry cause I just rather not deal with the stress of having to argue. I also hate being mad or in a upset mood so I rather just not be upset and just suffer getting disrespected? I guess that's an issue thanks for giving me this advice

[Sandeeppingping]

I understand you very well, many times in my life I was like that, ironically with my younger sister as well who acted like a 34 year old grown up as if like she got responsabilities, anyway, from my personal experience it's bad to do that because there'll be a day in which you'll erupt because the disrespect and the boundaries would have been pushed too far, yours have already been pushed but you still wish she just respected you instead of having to go through this entire ignoring and getting mad process, but sometimes that's what you have to do so I hope you the best

[hahahmm]

Your mom is operating a house where anything is allowed & you take advantage of that. If your dad was at home and/or he had a backbone, there would be zero boyfriends living there, right? Maybe the real problem is you're not living in a good situation.

Maybe you should have your own place before expecting privacy.

Maybe you shouldn't be getting pregnant by a guy who can't even afford a 1 bedroom apartment too.

Just an idea.

[Asker]

dude the issue is we are both broke asf no matter how much money we save? you don't know our personal life and what's going on you can just expect us to move out whenever we fkn please. and I don't get what if the issue I'm using protection and your all in this stupid comment section are acting like I'm stupid?

[Asker]

we both live with our parents we aren't gonna move out instantly that's fkn stupid. I rather stay here long enough to get the money before moving out and being in dept. and I have enough money issues to deal with cause everyone takes away from me no matter what I do. the question was what can I do to be respected in my fkn house

[hahahmm]

"you don't know our personal life and what's going on you can just expect us to move out whenever we fkn please. " -- The thing about being older like me is we've seen enough in life that we can read between the lines. You think your life is so special and unique but it's not. Millions and millions of people have been in your exact situation. You telling me I don't know your life is like the McDonalds fast food worker telling me, I don't know what's in that cheeseburger wrapper. Oh, but I do.

You got it all figured out? Then why are you asking questions on GAG. Yeah, I think you're stupid if you're asking questions you don't even want to get answers to. Think about it.

[Asker]

oh so now your pulling the "I'm older" bs to excuse you just being a complete asshole real nice, and I never denied that people don't have the same fkn issues as me. I went on the website to fkn get advice on my sister's behavior so she can start respecting me as her older sister not whatever tf your pulling out ur ass

[hahahmm]

Oh, I'm an asshole for telling you something you don't want to hear? Then so be it. You only want to listen to people who say what you want to hear then you do NOT need any advice form anybody and it's strange you're even asking questions. Very strange.

[Asker]

yea pretty much cuz that isn't the fkn question I asked. idek why a 49yr no life is online arguing with someone who just became an adult a few months ago :/ go out for a smoke and rethink ur life choices instead of bugging me

[hahahmm]

Or you're not mature enough yet to comprehend the advice and why it's relevant to your question.
Secondly, if you don't want people over a certain age to reply to your questions you should state that in the question. Otherwise it just looks like you're butt hurt when you say it after you've engaged in a conversation over several posts.

[Asker]

ok but dude the your "response" to my question isn't even a response. ur just telling me to find another guy who has more money and shit when I could care less about it. again the question is what can I do with my sister not any money issues cause we are literally working towards that goal rn. and I don't mind older RESPECTFUL people responding to my questions. you old ass on the other hand are just rude. get sum bitches

[nawtee_me]

just not sure about this... No one home and then your sister came home early. I can believe that but where did her boyfriend come from? we=as he with her when she came home early? What about mom when did she get home? Was she with your sister and her boyfriend? no one was home and then suddenly three people are home watching you and your boyfriend...

[Asker]

ok for some explaining.

the boyfriend and my sister are constantly together so I'll assume he ended up visiting her as work at some point during her shift and they hung out afterwards as they always do. and my mom is the one who always drops her at work and brings her to work thus making them all arrive at the same time

[nawtee_me]

That really sucks... lol need to rent a room ;)

[Anonymous]

Well, there it is. Backstabbed by a family member. Been there, done that.

Your best bet is making money and live with your boyfriend, so you 2 have a private space at least. Way too hard and too long? When was it ever easy? Unless you were born in a rich family.

Not much else you can do if you are looking for practical solutions.

[Asker]

I suppose so but it be nice if there was a way to get any sort of respect in this house 🙃

[Opinion Owner]

Forget about it. Just because you want to be respected doesn't mean people will respect you. Even if you build them a mansion. Your power is in whether you allow yourself to be treated the way you are being treated or to walk away and keep them out.

[Asker]

yeah that I think is the issue that I'm not too sure how to have her respect me cause when she upsets me I usually just let it slide and always talk to her when she tries to talk to me. and we forget the thing happened

[Opinion Owner]

Yep and here is your issue. You expect respect from someone, who has not much of it for you.
A strong person walks away, ignores, builds up their defenses and keeps them out.

[KrakenAttackin]

You and your sister being female are just competing on an angry bitchy level. Perfectly normal.

[Asker]

I feel she's more the one being bitchy cause she's mad now that I got upset at her and cried over what she did. but ig?

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... find a guy who isn't broke AF.

[Asker]

ok but again idc if the guy is broke or not he just got a job recently cause before he would of rather focus on his studies why would I be a gold digger and break up with this guy I like just to solve the problems in my life 🙃

[Asker]

like are you all just single men on here incapable of finding love so you give shitty advice to other? go get some bitches dude

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker. So find a guy who isn't broke AF and bang your current boyfriend on the side. Or do what most other modern women do, start an Only Fans page or start "sugaring".

[Asker]

ok but I'm not too interested in that.. that isn't the issue.. the issue is my sister not the fact that I have money issues? I rather not publicly show my body online and be a e-whore I'm sorry :/

[Asker]

like if ur so obsessed with me getting a sugar daddy ill gladly send u my PayPal.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... not me sister.

[Asker]

then stopped being obsessed with me starting an only fans like tf 💀

[TheFlak38]

Slut alert

[Asker]

who exactly? lol

[Asker]

cause If your talking about me thats pretty pathetic of you ngl.