So my parents and my sister really haven't been getting along recently. My parents, especially my dad (but also my mom a lot) like call my sister a lot of mean stuff and really aren't supportive. And it's gotten really bad these past 2-3 months. Like yeah my sister is 17 so she's gonna start acting differently and try new things, but my parents really aren't accepting that. Like her grades have been kinda bad recently and she hides stuff and lies to them quite often, but I still think that what my parents are doing is too much.
2 weeks ago, it was her graduation ceremony and my parents really ruined it for her. Like they were trying to get her to tell them about all her friends, kept trying to make her do things she didn't want to, and put her through a lot of stress. It was really a hellish day, cuz on top of that, they kept saying that she was "acting" and faking her tears and everything. But she was actually really sad. Then today, it was her prom. I went with my dad to pick her up once it was done, but we couldn't find her anywhere no matter how much we called or texted her. Later on though, we found her. Apparently she went out for a walk with the guy who asked her out for prom. My dad got really mad. And by the way, I still don't actually know where she went or what she did cuz she won't tell me either. So anyway, I then overheard my dad talking with my mom about it and my dad was calling her by the most disgusting names and talking about her really badly. It really bothered me.
So, back to the original question, what can I do so that my parents stop acting this way and be somewhat proud of my sister? Cuz it's really ruining everything for her. Even though she's sometimes a drama queen, I know that what my parents are doing is really affecting her in a bad way. I wanna know what other ways there are to solve this problem other than getting therapy or something.
You are an excellent sister, and you're someone with a kind heart. The inherent sweetness of this question made me smile.
Then I read-on, and... my smile disappeared. I will say right up-front that I'm not sure you'll be able to successfully get your parents to back off. The reason for that is, they aren't going to give your opinion as much weight as they should--you're their daughter.
I think all you can really do, is to try and convey how you feel to them... in the way they're most likely to actually "hear" you. I suggest writing them a letter. By hand.
Lay out how much it hurts you to see, the harm you think it's doing, remind them that (I'm guessing) they weren't like this with you, and anything and everything you want them to hear.
I don't know your parents. But a letter has advantages when trying to make a case to most parents. First, you can't be interrupted, sidetracked, or get flustered emotionally. Parents generally are excellent at all of those tactics. Second, they HAVE to hear you out. All of what you have to say. Nobody has EVER left a letter only half-read. If you write it, they will read it until the end.
I think your parents don't agree with her choices and her attitude. She's not even 18, but acting out and at this rate, she'll end up pregnant or worse by the time she's 20. Parents try to instill values and are disappointed when kids rebel. Your sister should try to make more responsible choices and stop hanging with the bad crowd. Parents don't have to and won't accept her "i can do anything i want to" attitude. Only someone on their own as an adult can do whatever they want to and then they alone are responsible for their bad decisions.
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1 y
I mean yeah it's not like my parents are the only ones responsible for this. But ngl, my sisters not actually being that rebellious. Like she hasn't even had a boyfriend so I doubt that she's even had her first kiss or smth..
Oh i thought she was. Then i can't imagine why your parents would come down so hard on her... maybe like the others suggested, they are being unfair. She is almost 18. I don't know all the particulars, but hopefully she still wants to do something good with her life and not fool around with guys and party.
You cannot "make" someone be proud of a person. I don't know what is going on in your family and it seems like there is more to this than meets the eye.
Looks like your sister is going through the rebellious phase or maybe there is something else going on. Your parents should be more understanding and not cuss her out. What you CAN do though, is be there for your sister. How old are you? If you're not living with your parents, but live only a few minutes away, visit her often. Talk to her everyday.
Your sister needs you. Your parents do not seem like the understanding kind. Even after she goes to college, as her older sister, it is your responsibility to make sure she is well. She may be okay physically, but what about her mental health?
Your parents sound like a bunch of shitshows, no offense.
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1 y
Lol actually I'm younger than her... But yeah I'm trying to get even closer to her and to be with her more often. I know that she needs someone to be with her and to support her. Thanks for your advice!
I don't want to be a massive prick but I don't even know if your parents are really worth the trouble.
Think about it the two people your sister should be able to rely on no matter what are turning their back on her and I seriously doubt she deserves the kind of treatment they're dishing out.
If you ask me the best move you can make is to take your sister's side and make sure she has at least someone she feels she can talk to about her issues and who will support her because trust me that will do a lot for her
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1 y
Yeah I'm trying my best to help her out as much as possible and to be there for her. We didn't use to be really close, but at some point, I started realized what was going on with her and my parents and I decided that I wanted to be with her along the way. Now, we talk about things we probably wouldn't have talked about like a year ago. Thanks for your advice tho!
It's sad that people can be like this. Like people who turn their backs on their children are among the people I hate the most and I hate those kind of people with a passion.
Sounds like she's really lucky to have you for her support ❤️ Maybe point out to your parents the positive things she's done like graduation. From the way you describe her she doesn't need or deserve all that negativity. You sound like an awesome sister to her.
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