Search Results: what causes low self esteem

So i have learned a lot about something called Attachment theory and i may write a mytake on it sometime. so what the Anxious attachment style is specifically is im the type where when i feel like the other person might be pulling away from me i tend to pursue them even harder because of my anxiety over them possible leaving me. and unfortunately this in turn tends to push them away even more because anxiety tends to kill the other persons attraction in my experience. I'm not acting like my authentic self and instead reacting to my own anxiety. the other person can usually pick up on those vibes easily.

Anyone else the anxious attachment types? or can at least relate to these issues

Here are the Symptoms of anxious attachment style as an adult
"- Adults with an anxious/preoccupied attachment style might think highly of others but often suffer from low self-esteem.

- These individuals are sensitive and attuned to their partners’ needs, but are often insecure and anxious about their own worth in a relationship.

- If the loved one rejects them or fails to respond to their needs, they might blame themselves or label themselves as not being worthy of love.

- Generally, adults with anxious attachment need constant reassurance that they are loved, worthy, and good enough.

- The strong fear of abandonment might often cause anxious adults to be intensely jealous or suspicious of their partners.

- This fear might also lead them to become desperate, clingy, and preoccupied with their relationships. Adults with an anxious attachment style are often afraid of or even incapable of being alone.

- They seek intimacy and closeness and are highly emotional and dependent on others. The presence of the loved one appears to be a remedy for their strong emotional needs."

Here's a good picture that demonstrates it well

So im trying to find ways of overcoming my anxiety now that i learned this about myself and become more secure.

I did Part 1 and Part 2 here. Here's Part 3 cause I'm bored.

Anna Maria. Medium length black hair. Native American. Short (5'5"). Average-curvy build with D cups. Photographer. Is kind, sassy, and outgoing, but had a traumatic childhood, so can sometimes be moody. Very sweet if you're nice to her; your worst nightmare if you cross her.

Bianca. Long black hair. Medium-dark skin. Very short (5'3"). Thicc curvy body with DDD cups and a big butt. Grocery cashier and college student. Is silly, goofy, affectionate, and can be pretty funny, but also has low self-esteem and body image issues, and can be quite clingy.

Cynthia. Long wavy blonde hair. Pale light skin. Tall (5'9"). Athletic build with DD cups and a toned body. Marketing specialist manager. Is light-hearted, outdoorsy, loves farming, and has a light sense of humor, but not all that smart, and can be very stubborn.

Deandra. Long brown hair. Asian; light skin. Medium height (5'7"). Slender/slim build with a flat chest (A cups). Lawyer. Is Conservative, above-average in intelligence, and very pragmatic, but also has no sense or humor, and a bit serious most of the time.

Esmeralda. Wavy medium-length black hair. Hispanic; light skin. Very short (5'1"). Curvy build with C cups and a bouncy booty. Accounting college student. Calm, optimistic, artsy, and very girly, but also a bit fickle, superficial, and likes to be pampered often (from being girly).

Felicia. Long dark auburn hair. Pale skin. Extremely tall (6'5"). Full figured voluptuous body with huge G cups, wide hips, and a huge booty. Registered nurse and student. Warm, sweethearted, positive, affectionate, witty, intelligent, and loves cooking, but also very ambitious and has high standards for her career.

Gloria. Medium light-brown hair. Medium-light skin. Tall (5'11"). Medium build with B cups and toned arms. Sells used cars, but comes from a rich family. Stern, controlling, high maintenance, a feminist, hot headed, and judgmental, but upper middle-class.

In modeling there are plus sized models and women always tell other overweight women that they are beautiful etc.

I think that's evil for a few reasons. First of all the health of the woman will keep getting worse and it will shorten her lifespan and give her health issues as well as possible low self esteem, physical pain, and it will be harder to find intimacy etc. And believing something false can cause more mental damage long term which can lead to more suffering.

I will use myself as an example. I used to be very overweight in my teenage years. Then I suffered from finding a woman to date or be intimate with. After several years I realized 99% of women don't find fat men attractive (even fat women don't want fat men). That's just reality. I'm not saying that's my fault and neither is it the fault of those women obviously. But because of the false expectations of "fat acceptance" I thought being fat is ok.

After a couple of years of gym and caloric restrictions etc. I was treated like a completely different person. I was respected and admired and both men and women would be friendly and accepting. I later got with a girl that I found attractive without putting almost any effort. Sadly around that time I started losing most of my hair and now I'm invisible to women again. (brutal I Know).

Anyway I think we shouldn't make people feel bad about themselves but I also don't think we should lie to people and make them delusional. We should admit that there is a problem somewhere and encourage people to be healthy and live a better life rather than "empower" them to ruin their lives and future opportunities.