I am 25 with bad depression?

[LostWondering]

I am so unhappy with my life, and although its easy to say "fix what you don't like" I feel like I am a lost cause. Now not to sound morbid, but I have very low self esteem to the point I hate myself. I tend to be more angry and irritable and self isolate from people. I am in therapy, but I feel like her advice is to get on anti depressants to which I tried and it made me tired, after two months I didn't feel any different. So I stopped taking them, I am on birth control which probably doesn't help because of the hormones. I am so recluse (d) to my room most days, I pay rent. I wouldn't have a car if It wasn't for my mom, I pay for the expenses on it. I am a CNA, I have called in a few times at my job my current one I have in the hospital. My mental health is bad I called off cause I simply didn't want to go. I've been there for 3 months, called in like 5 times. Which is not good. Mental health runs in my family, my cousin and uncle had to be hospitalized because they did overthinking a lot. I am afraid I am heading in that direction, sometimes it's scary these thoughts in my head. I am easily triggered, because I am miserable. At work I see nurses my age, so mature and so level headed. I just wonder why I am not like that? I am 25 there's a nurse there that is 23, I should be not living at my moms and I should be on my own. This is probably why no man ever approaches me, I am a bigger gal. I need self esteem and confidence. I also need to be more assertive. In the past 5 years, I only been approached once and that was a few months ago at the dollar store. A guy came in the store where I was shopping to tell me I had a pretty smile, he was older man. So I don't necessarily count that, I am so unhappy. Is there anyone that can provide me with any advice? Am I secretly like dumb? Or incompetent?

[WindAtMyBack]

People tend to oversimplify this. They say "All you have to do is [fill in the blank]. They seem to think this is somehow a choice for you. They think it's under your control

I can say "All you have to do is pick up that car." That doesn't mean you will be able to do it. You won't be capable of doing it. Neither are you capable of deciding that you want to feel better, and suddenly you feel better.

Depression is often overwhelming. It might not be too difficult to deal with this thing or that thing. But when everything is combined, hitting you all at once, it becomes overwhelming. It becomes more than you can handle.

There is the saying "No use crying over spilt milk." But when someone who is truly depressed spills milk they might cry over it. It's not really the milk they cry over. It's because it seems like everything in their life has gone wrong. They can't even pour a damn glass of milk without spilling it - NOTHING goes right.

I don't have a solution for you. But I'm not going to say "All you have to do is..." because I know that's not true. You are strong enough to get through this. You can endure. You have to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even if you can't see that light from where you are now, you have to believe that it's there.

Keep going to therapy. Personally I think anti-depressants should only be used when it's really bad. But for many people they really do work. Just trying one isn't enough. Even with two closely related drugs, one might work and another one doesn't. There is some trial and error involved. If it ever becomes too much for you, maybe give anti-depressants another try.

Know that you are strong enough and don't ever give up.

[young_OG96]

I’m also 25, and trust me you gotta stop comparing yourself to where others are at our age, you need to start competing with yourself and celebrating the small wins just as much as the big wins, minor set backs for major come backs. Definitely get into the gym and or boxing, remember the humans we are animals so try and spend as much time in nature as possible💪🏾

[ZS007]

Did you tell your therapist that you stopped taking your anti depressants? We should learn to love ourselves and then seek anything romantic. How can you love another person if you don't love yourself. Do whatever makes you happy. Dance, sing, go out, if you hate your body find things you like about it about yourself. Ask yourself what I'm I good at. Take sexy photos for you and feel like a badass. Living with parents is okay. It's honestly only not okay in America from what I hear but it's good to be with your family. And there is no need to leave if you are not ready. You should focus on yourself and getting a positive attitude. Read a book do relaxing stuff.

[AngelOfLight258]

I don't think you're dumb but depression can impair cognitive functions.

And impaired cognitive functions cause more failures in life

Then more failures worsen depression

It's a viscous cycle :(

And one you must break

[LostWondering]

I mean I did pass my CNA exam so I mean I think I am ok at least? I don't know. It's circled in my head a few times that I may be low IQ but my therapist said in order to pass that test I would've had to have an average IQ. So I don't know.

[exitseven]

Try and think of ways you could make yourself better. It might be learning a musical instrument or losing ten pounds. It will occupy your thoughts and make you feel better about yourself. You will learn things about yourself that you never knew. You will find that life is not as empty as you thought. It will change you in ways that you can't imagine yet.

[Smoothing]

I would say try and exercise more sweetie. Go to the gym, swim, keep yourself busy and active. You will be surprised how healthy that is to the mind.

[Anonymous]

Seek therapy. It is the only thing that worked for me.

[EnglishEuropean]

If you quit antidepressants because they weren't working... welcome to the club. You probably need to take something else instead. Nobody really knows how antidepressants work or why one drug works for some people and not others.

[Avicenna]

Physical exercise might help reduce the depression

[Anonymous]

Just be happy :D

[Smoothing]

For your age, you really seem clueless. You can't just tell someone depressed, "just be happy " . What is the matter with you?