Guys, If a guy is scared of his feelings for a girl and pulls away what should the girl do?

[Anonymous]

So me and this guy were starting to get close and things seemed to be headed on the relationship path but then he pulled back all of a sudden and he seems to just be awkward and uncomfortable with his feelings and keeps pulling me closer and pushing me away. I’m fairly certain from things he’s told me that he's just scared to get attached incase he gets hurt but also has low self esteem and thinks he doesn’t deserve a good relationship. I’m just not sure if I should keep talking to him and engaging with him and trying to make him feel comfortable or give him space. He keeps telling me he’s distancing himself cause he’s got a lot going on in his head so I’ve given him space but we barely talk now and I’m worried that we’ll just grow apart so not sure what to do.

[Anonymous]

I'd give him an ultimatum. I can relate to this guy. So few women care about a guys feelings. Most women think guys risk nothing when entering into a relationship. I don't trust very easily with women. But I am cognizant of her feelings as well and so should he be. Now you said "I'm fairly certain from things he's told me he's afraid to get attached". This is kind of important. Because did he say that? Or did he imply that. Because the two are worlds apart. It takes strength to show vulnerability to a woman and admit when you're weak. To let her draw that conclusion on her own is something else entirely. If he showed that vulnerability to you then he trusts you enough to do at least that. You two can build from there if he wants to heal. And that's the heart of the matter. It's OK to be broken if your willing to heal.

I can tell you from personal experience I avoid most damaged women. Not because I don't for them. Not because I don't want to lift them up. But because most want to wallow most want to just use me as am emotional sponge.

My advice to you is KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES give but give to a point. After that it's up to him.

[Asker]

I’m fairly certain he’s afraid to get attached because he’s told me things like “I like what I have with you but I don’t want a relationship cause I have a lot going on in my head and don’t wanna hurt you” and “the way things were getting with you I just.. I don’t like feelings” and he keeps trying to talk to me about how he feels but instead just says half of what he wants to say and then gets all awkward and trails off and changes the subject cause he’s weird about talking about feelings. He’s even said to me that he wants to open up to me but he doesn’t like talking about his feelings and doesn’t know how to. He’s said multiple times that he doesn’t feel he deserves a good relationship but also that “relationships are scary”. He seems to keep trying to open up but then gets all awkward and bails on the conversation.

He was all in at one point he was affectionate he was showering me in compliments he was flirty he was saying he’d do anything for me and was eager to see me all the time and we were getting really close and then all of a sudden his mood changed he got distant and he just said he was going through a lot and was distancing himself because he didn’t wanna hurt me by involving me in his bullshit. Since then he’s just been playing hot cold. He’ll spend a couple days talking to me all the time joking with me flirting with me and then he’ll get all distant for a couple weeks. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and he keeps saying the same thing that there’s a lot going on in his head and he’s trying to figure himself out and he doesn’t wanna hurt me. He also keeps saying he doesn’t wanna lose me.

I’m just not sure if I should be trying to encourage him to open up and talk more or let him be and wait for him to come to me. 🤷‍♀️

[Pyrofox]

Just cut him off. He's clearly not in the right mindset to have a relationship.

[wannabecuck-2]

He wants to focus on his career prolly.

[Pterodon]

Run. There’s no such thing as scared of feelings