Search Results: hard to read

I knew her for 5 months. We never had a fight. At the end I sent her a message about sexual experiences, she wasn't interested much in responding. Left my last message on 'read'. 3 weeks later (no contact) she deleted me from the friends list. I subconciously knew that it could happen and when the day came, I texted her, she said that our goals were too different and she doesn't see a point in continuing.

Yes, I fell in love with her. We shared a lot of messages, many conversations with a sexual overtone. Met only 3 times. It was me chasing her, she turned down A LOT of propositions. My heart hurt with every rejection, also with a final one. Physical touch was hard with her. She said that she just is that way, but she also had some other guys around.

Everything would be fine, if I felt some attraction from her. But that was not the way it was. It was a crooked game I was playing, not sure if I really ever had a shot. Or did I have one and just missed.

3 weeks passed since the last contact. I can't stop thinking about her. Her birthday is coming up (of course I remember, I remember everything about her), and I keep overthinking of what should I do:
A) Send her a nice, very personalised and heart-warming wishes. Like many times I was the 'nice guy' with her. But that didn't lead me very far didn't it? Other than statements like 'Its really nice by you to say that'. Well in my heart I am that guy. And I really would love to do that and be somehow appreciated. But I also know the game.

B) Just a simple text 'enjoy your birthday, by the way. its a funny thing that comes up on your profile, when someone is not a part of your friend circle' Which is true! And I bet she has no idea. This is the approach with 'playing' and a bit of teasing.

C) No contact. But showing her that I finally moved on. That I have my value. But she probably doesn't remember me already and I bet she won't contact me ever again on her own. Most boring solution.

D) Other - comment please.

I knew her for 5 months. We never had a fight. At the end I sent her a message about sexual experiences, she wasn't interested much in responding. Left my last message on 'read'. 3 weeks later (no contact) she deleted me from the friends list. I subconciously knew that it could happen and when the day came, I texted her, she said that our goals were too different and she doesn't see a point in continuing.

Yes, I fell in love with her. We shared a lot of messages, many conversations with a sexual overtone. Met only 3 times. It was me chasing her, she turned down A LOT of propositions. My heart hurt with every rejection, also with a final one. Physical touch was hard with her. She said that she just is that way, but she also had some other guys around.

Everything would be fine, if I felt some attraction from her. But that was not the way it was. It was a crooked game I was playing, not sure if I really ever had a shot. Or did I have one and just missed.

3 weeks passed since the last contact. I can't stop thinking about her. Her birthday is coming up (of course I remember, I remember everything about her), and I keep overthinking of what should I do:
A) Send her a nice, very personalised and heart-warming wishes. Like many times I was the 'nice guy' with her. But that didn't lead me very far didn't it? Other than statements like 'Its really nice by you to say that'. Well in my heart I am that guy. And I really would love to do that and be somehow appreciated. But I also know the game.

B) Just a simple text 'enjoy your birthday, by the way. its a funny thing that comes up on your profile, when someone is not a part of your friend circle' Which is true! And I bet she has no idea. This is the approach with 'playing' and a bit of teasing.

C) No contact. But showing her that I finally moved on. That I have my value. But she probably doesn't remember me already and I bet she won't contact me ever again on her own. Most boring solution. No fun.

D) Other - comment please.

I read a research paper today explaining how people naturally are more drawn to things that are rare and/or require effort to acquire, thus making it more valuable, and don't see something that's easily acquired as anything worthwhile.

Which is a principle that has also been adopted in the dating world I think. People who act, or simply are, hard-to-get, seem more interesting to people because they will naturally be drawn to this person because it would actually mean something to make this person interested in you. You'd have to earn it.

Which brings me to my question. Would you personally see yourself generally being more attractive to that nonchalant guy, who doesn't really pay attention to people, minds his own business but is charismatic and intriguing at the same time in the limited conversations that you have with him, or would you prefer that bubble, positive happy guy, who likes to talk, is generally the center of attention and gives you a bunch of compliments?