Should you pursue relationships with opposites or not?

Question

Do you think relationships with opposites should be pursued? Do you think the grass is greener on the other side or that you should stick to familiar pastures? Do you know of successful relationships between two people of opposite personalities?

Recently I have been thinking about the type of women I pursue in relationships. While I am more reserved and prefer indoor activities, I have found that I am usually more attracted to women who are confident, talkative and are more active. The main issue is I find it harder to read such women.

For some context, in my family the women (and to a degree the men as well) are more reserved and are not super social, with this type of behaviour being the norm for me most of the time. However, while socialising I have run into several friendly outgoing women who organise social groups and have been part of events that I have been to. I quite enjoyed these outgoing women’s company, but this was in the context of friends rather than in the relationship setting. I did try dating more outgoing women a couple of times but because I was still inexperienced in such matters, not much came of those relationships.

While I have not been the most successful with women who are my opposite, I find that I am more willing to try to pursue these relationships as more reserved women just seem to act uninterested in my eyes, and require a lot more effort to get motivated.

Enough about me though, what do you think about relationships with opposites? A recipe for success or no?

Twalli · Accepted Answer

I actually think a relationship between an introvert and extrovert can work well. The introvert becomes more social and outgoing. The extrovert can have more fun in smaller social settings.

Berethor · Accepted Answer

If both are reserved it harder to know each other, but outgoing women tend to be slutty.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Disaster! Unless they really like each other. If they do, they will mimic each other or teach each other, something. But, I'd say, don't do it!

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

I've never seen that work out well. Those big opposites, from what I've seen, always tend to be the weak spot on the relationship.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Some people say opposites attract, I guess because they enjoy that dynamic? Or they say it to support someone in their life who is in that situation, and wondering whether they should go for it, or proceed.

If something attracts you, why not try it? And one person is not trying it. Every person is unique, and one person does not make a pattern. If you appreciate what more outgoing, energetic, active, demonstrative and not shy types offer you, go for it!

I think it speaks potentially higher of a person who wants and does this, because it means they are open to compromise, getting out of their comfort zone, trying new things, expanding their experience.

The reality is that it will create a dynamic where many things will need to be negotiated. Everyone intellectually knows that compromise is key in relationships, but look at how many people tout trite advice and mantras; things like, "People need to accept me the way I am," "You shouldn't have to settle," etc. etc. These are practically ingrained into dating today, and are polar opposite from your attitude, which is essentially, I am willing to go outside of my normal routine or behaviour or inclination, and try something new. So I salute you. And given the fact that the vast majority of females still fall back on the tradition of men approaching and doing all initiating and initial groundwork in dating, you'll have a much easier time with women who are not reserved, less suspicious, and amenable to meeting people, doing stuff, random conversation, and having fun. Extroverts are much more often up for anything. Or something, lol.

Avicenna · Answer

You can try, but don’t have high expectations

Should you pursue relationships with opposites or not?

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