Search Results: in love with someone

I happen to take this matter personally because of what happened to me.

When I was 20, I met this 16 year old girl online on an adult dating app. We really hit it off, and we began conversing for a series of months. We both researched the age of consent in her state, and found that it was 16. I drove to meet her, and we had a date. Things got intense later, and we ended up having sex. It ended up only being a weekend fling because she didn't want to pursue a romantic relationship with me. I was heartbroken. We had a dispute weeks later, and she never wanted to speak to me again.

7 months later while at my college dorm, I made an idiotic decision to drive back to her state to apologize and win her heart again. I was met at the door by her father, who was unhappy to see me to say the least. I shook his hand and agreed to cut complete contact. As I went back to my hotel, the police knocked on my door and arrested me. Fast forwarding, I was sentenced to 3 years supervised probation. The collateral damages were just as bad if not worse, as I lost my EMT license and my career.

The reason why I bring this up is because if this were to happen to someone who was elite, had money, or had high influential status, they would have likely just received a slap on the wrist or not have been touched at all by the law.

Instead, an average everyday person, let alone a young 20/21 year old trying to pursue love at that time, had his entire reputation and livelihood destroyed.

These elitist bastards flew 14 year old girls on an island, passed them around as casual sex dolls, and they get away with it completely unscathed. It's sick.

Now that I am 31 and married, I look back in hindsight with regret and sadness I became so desperate. I was young and dumb. But I am even more angry at the devastation it caused for so many years when, meanwhile, elitists just continue to thrive and get away with high-profile crimes.

I used to think it was better to stay single if you couldn't have the one you love but the older I get the more I like the idea of settling for someone I can learn to love

Simple question right? I will concede that falling in love with someone isn't 100% a choice, its a combination of attraction, and chemical responses. But continuing to love someone i believe is a choice.

Let me explain why i believe that.

Love needs to be nurtured. To maintain the relationship, you can't just expect the "Spark" to be there. Both sides need to make effort. Both sides need to do the things that maintain connection.

For example, Every morning when i wake up, i wake a half our prior to actually needing to get up so i can get extra cuddle time with my wife. When i come home from lunch i hug her, and tell her how much i miss her. When i come home at the end of the day i do the same, and then we cook together.. the important term here is Together. Hell even my furniture choices have centered around making sure that even when we are just watching a show together it means cuddle time. Additionally i took my grandfathers advice seriously, which was "Never stop dating your wife" So i make sure to do things like date nights, and spontaneous gifts, And by gifts, i mean things she's been wanting, to things as simple as chocolate. I tell her she's beautiful every day, and i tell her how much i love her every day. And this isn't one way, My wife does similar stuff for me.

Bottom line, if i chose to stop doing all of that, my wife would first think that there was something wrong, Then she would think that i was angry with her, and finally she would think that i dont love her. It would essentially kill the marriage.

Love, Marriage, And everything in between takes effort, Marriage is hard work, Its remembering to do the little things. Its making sure above all else that you have open lines of communication.

A lot of people fail to comprehend that, and i believe this is the reason for the horrific divorce rate.

See the following poem. it explains it quite well
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1959983/love-needs-nurture/