When will it be my turn to find a girlfriend?

[Dbman99]

So, l've definitely been lonely for a long time. I am 48 and have never, not once, had a girlfriend. Never could get past one or two dates. l've been so frustrated and depressed lately, especially with my mental health, as I lost a job because of my depression and becoming suicidal. I am autistic as well. I love acting as that has always been my dream and I've even won an award. I am a Christian but democratic which I know can sometimes not mix with everyone. I see other people get into relationships like breathing. They break up with someone and I can't process how they just find another so quick.

I've tried online, church, bars, friends, work, theatre, etc. I've had girls, just stop talking to me, get angry (for some reason) that I liked them, even tell me they don't want a relationship but then see them with someone shortly after. A girl, long time ago, told my friend that I was scary? I mean why someone chooses someone else who came out of long relationship, but won't give me a chance when l've never had one? Like when is it my turn? I just don't understand why finding a girlfriend for me is like a pipe dream but for anyone else it's naturally just happening for them. Thanks for any advice.

[SueShe]

You are the only one that can help that situation.

In order to have friends or a girlfriend, you must be proactive and find friends. They will not just pop up in your life without you being involved in the relation. Best is to join a club, take a hobby where you can meet people with similar interests.

If you are good at one specific occupation, then see if you can find a club or place where others meet that share that passion. The rest will just fall automatically into place. Sharing the same interests with a person is always a good start to get to know that person better because you have common grounds.

But you have to work on yourself first. That would include shyness and social anxiety if those are part of your problem.

You can train your approach, your attitude and expression in front of a mirror for example. Think of what message you want to bring across and rehearse it until you are satisfied. The next step is the most difficult one and that is the one where you have to put in practice what you learned and rehearsed.

But without you wanting and acting upon it, nothing will ever happen. You have to get out of your comfort zone for it to happen. The most important is not to be afraid to fail. If you are rejected, get back onto your feet and try again

[Nikki1989]

Tick-Tock!

Better put yourself out there.

[Dbman99]

I mean what else am I supposed to do? I’m rejected before I say Hi

[Dbman99]

Maybe I just don’t belong anywhere

[dislikesmath]

Great timing Mr. Eduardo rizz master Is here to help be confident, make eye contact when talking to the girls. Don't get nervous, make the girls laugh you'll be surprised with the original jokes you come up with. Listen to the girls, work out they look and like that, drive a nice car. Although I've been approached a lot by really pretty girls with out nothing but confidence. I haven't had a girlfriend in a while too drinking seems to be more important.

[slatyb]

Life is not an amusement park ride. There are no turns when it comes to dating. Have you considered professional counseling? Do you actually know any women?

[Selene1600000]

You sound deeply lonely and exhausted, not unlovable, and after years of rejection it makes sense that it would start affecting how you see yourself and other people’s relationships. The hard part is that attraction and relationships are not distributed fairly, and some people struggle much longer than others for reasons that are often painful and unclear, especially when autism, depression, and confidence issues all interact together. The fact you are passionate about acting, emotionally reflective, and still trying despite everything says there is still a part of you that has not given up, and that matters more than you probably realize right now.

[Twalli]

I didn't have a date until I was 27. We had sex 6 months later. We've been together since. It did kind of just happen, but it didn't before then. As for being autistic, that's only an issue if you make it one. I would see if there is a social group you can join that lets you meet a lot of people, that's how I met my fiancée. Seeing as she's 5.5 years older than me, I can guarantee that we wouldn't have met otherwise.

[Anonymous]

So my guess is you are a very special needs person